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Post by matisse on Apr 2, 2007 0:12:28 GMT -5
Seems like an important thing, what does it mean to you?
I like to think of myself as independent, but that doesn't mean I can always do everything on my own. When I travel for work, if I am to stand up while showering, I have someone come in to help with that. It takes very little effort and time, but I just can't stand up without the help. When I travel with my wife, it doesn't seem worth it to have someone come in for that short amount of time, so she just does it.
At home, I am set up so that I do stand on my own. But I still need occasional help here and there. On average, maybe 30 minutes a month.
If I was single, I probably would have someone come in every day. Even though I would rarely need the person, I would want the safety net in case something went wrong. It's been a long time since I've fallen down, but it will happen at some point, it's inevitable given how unstable I am when standing. But if I was going to suffer the indignity of having someone help me every day, I would hand-pick her to be HOT.
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Post by benquad on Apr 2, 2007 12:40:23 GMT -5
But if I was going to suffer the indignity of having someone help me every day, I would hand-pick her to be HOT. I NEED HELP EVERYDAY dignity has nothing to do w/ it we all have "our cross to bear" You are sorely mistaken in your perception of Independence & insult those of us that do require assistance. Once in my chair & ready to go I do more than alot of able bodied people ive met, so to me independence is doing what i want when i want. In my case i need help in & out of bed, to shower & "stuff" im a c5,6 quadriplegic(google it), I may be somewhat constrained by my aide's timeliness but I do whatever i want & have made some friends that dont mind helping me, as many have told me " we all need help sometimes" maybe i just woke up w/ my nightbag on the wrong side but theres my opinion as far as a hot aide its good in theory but if she actually reciprocates ur forgetting "dont mix business w/ pleasure"
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Post by matisse on Apr 2, 2007 14:38:25 GMT -5
Hey, no need to be insulted, its just that I have never liked assistance and never will.
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Post by Pony on Apr 2, 2007 20:12:38 GMT -5
Heyyyy, i'm with both of you.....1st, i HATE assistance, and after 27 years, i will never accept it all the way. However, i will also never let it break my wall of dignity, although it gets slapped hard everyday. It's a bruise across my Spinal Cord that keeps me from being extremely athletic and fully independent, and i always try to remember that any great athlete with my injury will need this assistance, so i channel my energies into accomplishing the physical things i CAN do, which is a challenge every single day.
as for the "HOTT HELPER" ....i'm not sure i want her to see me in my most "incapable" time. I'd rather have her sitting in my lap after a few wines listening to loud rock n roll. lol
BTW, i have a saying that helps me, "Adversity Reveals Character". A REAL man takes these crazy cards dealt to him and rises above it to hold on to the ability to love, be happy, strive for goals, accept the fight, retain integrity and dignity and realize EVERYBODY has their own private prison.
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Post by Ouch on Apr 2, 2007 21:16:44 GMT -5
I personally am also lucky that I need minimal additional help in my life beyond my own self, but I don't think needing assistance to do things is a lack of independence though; I don't think matisse was implying that either. We all do need assistance sometime, whether it's finding aisle two, or doing number two, but needing that help doesn't detract from independence, at least in my opinion. I think knowing your needs and adressing them, and working your life around those needs is being independent; dependence only comes about when you've resigned yourself to ignoring and not addressing your own needs, and instead let/force others to do such for you.
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Post by matisse on Apr 2, 2007 21:47:23 GMT -5
as for the "HOTT HELPER" ....i'm not sure i want her to see me in my most "incapable" time. I'd rather have her sitting in my lap after a few wines listening to loud rock n roll. lol Hehe, well my needs are such that it wouldn't be so bad. I need help washing my feet, I can't do that while standing up, I have to sit. I think I'd have her help me with that........ BTW, i have a saying that helps me, "Adversity Reveals Character" I think this is very true. Put someone under stress and it tells you a lot about them.
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Post by E on Apr 2, 2007 22:14:36 GMT -5
I need daily help bathing and transfering in/out of bed.
At one point, I vowed to never have an unattractive aide again.
They've been hot ever since.
You've seen pictures of a few.
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Post by matisse on Apr 2, 2007 23:17:35 GMT -5
At one point, I vowed to never have an unattractive aide again. There has to be an interesting story behind this vow......
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Post by Triassic on Apr 3, 2007 0:32:08 GMT -5
I'm fully independant-for now, anyway.
I think I'd settle for a reliable, personable, non-psycho, non-criminal PCA; attractiv or not. I've heard horror stories.
Really, wouldnt it be incredibly weird and frustrating to be attracted to your attendant if she-as would most likely be the case-just saw you as a client? Gaaah.
After I was injured once, my physical therapist was an attractive married woman. It was pretty awkward.
Really, I think I'd prefer a sweet, kind, effeminate gay man as a PCA.
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Post by E on Apr 3, 2007 7:26:13 GMT -5
At one point, I vowed to never have an unattractive aide again. There has to be an interesting story behind this vow...... Yeah. I got tired of waking up every morning to this ugly older lady. She's the first thing I see when I wake up. I just find my day gets off to a better start when I'm greeted by an attractive, smiling face.
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Post by wheelie37 on Apr 4, 2007 1:15:54 GMT -5
Very important to me to be independent The only things that stop me doing some things are access and atitudes.
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