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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2015 15:02:17 GMT -5
Welcome aboard, Melina.
As an old guy that's been around here a while, I can tell you that many new devs ask this same thing (maybe in different words) upon joining so you're in very good company. I don't have the time and I'm too lazy, but if you look up some of the old threads you'll find that most people here don't equate devoteeism (is that a word?) with sadism at all. I think the thread I'm thinking of was titled "dark side" or something close. I suggest checking that one out, especially.
I'm at work and typing on my phone so this is where I'll stop for now, but please feel welcome, read some old threads and explore (us and yourself). You're among a group of great and intelligent people. Enjoy.
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Post by Hopper on Jul 1, 2015 15:51:00 GMT -5
Welcome Melina ! Sadism is nothing to be ashamed of, if anything it's a complex lust for power and control, the harm is just a part of it. As a masochist, the thrill isn't getting hurt as such, but being under that control, the excitement of what could happen next when under someone else's power when it comes to fun....oh, right a different kind of Sadism.
Well, just don't think of it as sadism, you yourself said that the stillness of a quad body is beautiful so if anything you're just appreciating what you love, and that's nothing to worry about.
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Jul 1, 2015 16:26:28 GMT -5
Great intro! Welcome and have fun!
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Post by hail on Jul 1, 2015 17:22:51 GMT -5
Welcome! Where in Brazil are you from?
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Post by LaMara on Jul 1, 2015 19:57:35 GMT -5
Hi and welcome! Don't worry, we've all been in your position! I personally don't think what you feel is sadistic, as I guess you don't want to hurt other people and, if I got it right, what you actually like in a quad is not related to actual physical suffering purely for the sake of suffering. As an example: I'm an amputee dev, but I don't find the idea of someone losing a limb attractive at all and I don't get off at the thought of the pain an amputee might have suffered, that actually horrifies me, but I still find the result attractive. Not the pain in itself. There might be in some cases a thin line between sadism and devoteeism, but if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about it. You didn't cause any injury to anyone, so what is so wrong in finding attractive something that is going to exist whether you want it or not? Creeps exist a bit everywhere, every category has got their own. The few creepy stalker devs are not creepy because they are devs, but just because they are assholes!!!
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Post by Melina26 on Jul 1, 2015 21:04:56 GMT -5
Welcome! Where in Brazil are you from? I am from Sao Paulo, land of the best food and the worst traffic!
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Post by hail on Jul 1, 2015 21:11:16 GMT -5
Ah nice. I visited Rio last year before the World Cup. Would love to come back one day.
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Post by rebel6842 on Jul 1, 2015 22:25:18 GMT -5
Hi guys! I'm new here and after reading around the Internet for a while I think this is the best place on this subject, so I would like to get your personal views, if you would care for helping a torn newbie! I'm a girl, 26 years old, Brazilian, and I've only recently become aware of the devotée definition for what I know I've felt my entire life when it came to guys, even if unable to name it. My preference has always been for high SCI only, young and cute college boy type, C3, C4 or C5 at most, cause I dig the stillness. There is something about the symmetry of a fully motionless attractive body that, for me, is just beautiful! With the years I have become more aware of what I truly feel, but always felt it seemed a little bit too much like sadism, maybe because of the helplessness or the suffering, in some way, with their needs, I don't know...but I don't want to think of myself as a sadist because it is so harsh and I'm such a sweet girl just thinking of love (maybe even life-long) and fun, and I don't think my desire comes from a mean place. What do you guys think about a possible proximity with sadism? Is there a thick line between us and them? And also, I've read many disabled people (manly woman) go on about how they find devotees creepy, stalkers, and actually avoid them; but then go bitching about the fact that their relationships never last long, and always end with the other person having issues with their chair/disability. They thinking it is creepy that people feel attracted to them precisely because they are disabled wouldn't be a little self deprecating? As if a person who loves and desires them just the way they are would have to be certainly crazy! I'm like....whaaaaat??? What do you think?? PS: I still haven't got the chance to meet a real life high quad, only in my dreams! Just waiting for my lucky day... Not in your target market, but let me take a crack at this one: First of all, welcome. You shouldn't be ashamed at all about what you feel, and what you feel is so FAR from sadism-the only way it would be is if you CAUSED the pain and enjoyed doing so (total other category) As far as other PWD's finding devs creepy, etc-while there have certainly been examples of creeptastic behavior, the biggest problem is that sometimes we PWD's won't get out of our own way and LET ourselves be loved/lusted after...
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Post by Melina26 on Jul 1, 2015 22:26:49 GMT -5
Hi and welcome! Don't worry, we've all been in your position! I personally don't think what you feel is sadistic, as I guess you don't want to hurt other people and, if I got it right, what you actually like in a quad is not related to actual physical suffering purely for the sake of suffering. As an example: I'm an amputee dev, but I don't find the idea of someone losing a limb attractive at all and I don't get off at the thought of the pain an amputee might have suffered, that actually horrifies me, but I still find the result attractive. Not the pain in itself. There might be in some cases a thin line between sadism and devoteeism, but if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about it. You didn't cause any injury to anyone, so what is so wrong in finding attractive something that is going to exist whether you want it or not? Creeps exist a bit everywhere, every category has got their own. The few creepy stalker devs are not creepy because they are devs, but just because they are assholes!!! Right, that's true...I guess as PD FAQ says itself, there is always that guilt.
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Post by Emma on Jul 1, 2015 22:42:34 GMT -5
Welcome Melinda. I'm also an amp dev and feel the same as LaMara. I think you will see that while your attraction is unusual and uncommon in the general population its very typical and accepted here. I'll also add that there are a lot more male devs out there and therefore a lot more guys who leave the wrong impression on disabled women. Its really sad for the male devs who are just regular guys who happen to have an attraction to disabled women. I'm glad you found us.
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Post by Gale on Jul 1, 2015 22:54:19 GMT -5
Hi guys! I'm new here and after reading around the Internet for a while I think this is the best place on this subject, so I would like to get your personal views, if you would care for helping a torn newbie! I'm a girl, 26 years old, Brazilian, and I've only recently become aware of the devotée definition for what I know I've felt my entire life when it came to guys, even if unable to name it. My preference has always been for high SCI only, young and cute college boy type, C3, C4 or C5 at most, cause I dig the stillness. There is something about the symmetry of a fully motionless attractive body that, for me, is just beautiful! With the years I have become more aware of what I truly feel, but always felt it seemed a little bit too much like sadism, maybe because of the helplessness or the suffering, in some way, with their needs, I don't know...but I don't want to think of myself as a sadist because it is so harsh and I'm such a sweet girl just thinking of love (maybe even life-long) and fun, and I don't think my desire comes from a mean place. What do you guys think about a possible proximity with sadism? Is there a thick line between us and them? And also, I've read many disabled people (manly woman) go on about how they find devotees creepy, stalkers, and actually avoid them; but then go bitching about the fact that their relationships never last long, and always end with the other person having issues with their chair/disability. They thinking it is creepy that people feel attracted to them precisely because they are disabled wouldn't be a little self deprecating? As if a person who loves and desires them just the way they are would have to be certainly crazy! I'm like....whaaaaat??? What do you think?? PS: I still haven't got the chance to meet a real life high quad, only in my dreams! Just waiting for my lucky day... oh boy, where do I even start with this one, ahaha. Okay so first off, welcome to the boards Melina. As I'm sure many of the other guys and gals here alike will tell you, we're stoked to have ya. So this kind of topic is touched on here a lot, and in general when talking about devotees, it's bound to come up at some point or another. The social stigma surrounding it is very real. I mean, hell where I live, we only just now got around to legalizing gay marriage, and the backlash has been huge (not a perfect comparison, but hey, roll with me here). I can only speak for myself, as both a dev (yes, I do identify as one) and a pwd, but I'll give it a shot. Now, to answer you first question in regards to sadism and devoteeism, I would like start off by saying that there is NOTHING inherently wrong with either of these. Sadism is fine, Devoteeism is fine. I would even go so far as to say it's okay to be a dev and a sadist at the same time (I can think of a few guys that would be perfect for, in fact). Now, as far as whether or not these two things are intertwined, I definitely won't rule it out as a possibility. Human sexuality is a complex subject that people have been studying for a very long time, and still have basically no idea how it works. Suffice to say, you like what you like. Whether that be choking yourself, animals, the disabled, or any other random thing you can think of, that's just how it is. Now, there is a very big difference between the two, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they can't be related or even caused by one another. The way I see it, is that everything you are as a person is a result of every of thing you are/have been as a person. Have you ever discovered something new that you liked, and then later looked back and realized that whatever new thing you found shares similarities with OTHER things you already liked? This is what I'm getting at, and I think it applies to the nature of human sexuality as well. Devoteeism may overlap with sadism from time to time, but there's definitely a clear line between the two. I'll try and illustrate this point using an example from my own personal perspective. I'm attracted to female arm amps, however I am the farthest thing from a sadist (or put more simply one who enjoys the suffering of others). I find the differences and challenges to overcome incredibly fascinating, and I even find that there's a certain level of level of helplessness involved with it that really just flips my switches. If I compare what specifically does it for me with female arm amps to what does it for me just in general (as in, with any partner really). The similarities are there and very real (totally love tying up girl's hands/arms so they're at my mercy <3). I understand that not everyone will have this kind of clarity into their own likes and desires, but I think that if a lot of people were able to figure it out, they'd probably find plenty of similarities as well. This can very easily extend into the realm of sadism - but more importantly, sadism can extend into the realm of devoteeism. What you really need to ask yourself is for one, what is it that you truly find attractive about high SCI, and for two, are you actually a sadist? Forget whether or not devoteeism borders on it or not. They're different. Ask yourself and the take the time needed to come to your own conclusions on your own sexuality, because nobody else will have the answers. They may help you there, they may give you other perspectives and insight, but ultimately only you know. This actually leads me perfectly into my next point, which is weird because usually by this point, I'm so far into a post that it's just a scrambled mess of paragraphs with no structure. Like with anything, it's important to understand boundaries. Sadists (USUALLY) don't go walking down the street, causing random strangers pain just to get their jollies. As a matter of fact, most of them are just like devs - normal ass people. Likewise, devotees don't go around catcalling the dis guys and talking about how hot those crutches are (well some of you might, but you get my point). It's common sense, and when one person of a certain delineation decides to be a jackass, it can give a bad name to everyone of that delineation. It's just human nature. If you were a disabled person and you had a bad experience with a devotee+sadist that didn't understand how boundaries and social interaction worked, your brain would be going "yeah this never needs to happen again, fuck devotees. all of 'em". This is obviously flawed, as you can't just make huge generalizations like that of off anecdotal evidence, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. As for your last point, I'm really not sure the relevance here. I mean, they are absolutely entitled to feel that way about devotees. I can 100% understand why an individual would find it unsettling that there are people out there who find them attractive because of their disability. Like everyone though, these people are influenced by their own experience. What and who they are, are a product of what they have been given in life. I don't even mean to necessarily relate that to having bad experiences with devs, but just how the person is in general. To use myself as an example - I am an incredibly open minded individual, and I'm not an idiot either. Even before I knew the term devotee, I assumed they existed just off of common sense. So when I heard the term and found out, it wasn't with shock or horror, it was with an open mind and an "oh, of course this is an actual thing". As for the whole bit about "and then go bitching about the fact their relationships never last long...etc" with all do respect, I hate the tone of this. It's as if you're implying "oh, you're tired of your shit relationship failing? then go look for this specific niche ass group of people who will like you because of your disability because nobody else will be able to see past it, dumb ass." What if they don't want a relationship with a dev? What if they want the disability to sit in the back seat of things and NOT be the focus of their partner? What if they just aren't comfortable with that idea or don't want to try and find a frickin' needle in a haystack (aka finding a compatible dev). Bottom line is there are many reasons a disabled person could and would find a devotee NOT ideal. I'm not saying the hate for devotees is justified in any way (though like with any group, there are definitely plenty of bad apples), but people are free to make their own choices for their own reasons. WHEW! That was a long one, and I'm about of steam now. Think I'm gonna go enjoy a nice hot shower. Anyways, I hope this post was insightful and answered a few of your questions. Thanks for making this intro, I really needed something to wake me up and get me to post. The board has been so slow lately.
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Post by Melina26 on Jul 1, 2015 23:33:56 GMT -5
Hi guys! I'm new here and after reading around the Internet for a while I think this is the best place on this subject, so I would like to get your personal views, if you would care for helping a torn newbie! I'm a girl, 26 years old, Brazilian, and I've only recently become aware of the devotée definition for what I know I've felt my entire life when it came to guys, even if unable to name it. My preference has always been for high SCI only, young and cute college boy type, C3, C4 or C5 at most, cause I dig the stillness. There is something about the symmetry of a fully motionless attractive body that, for me, is just beautiful! With the years I have become more aware of what I truly feel, but always felt it seemed a little bit too much like sadism, maybe because of the helplessness or the suffering, in some way, with their needs, I don't know...but I don't want to think of myself as a sadist because it is so harsh and I'm such a sweet girl just thinking of love (maybe even life-long) and fun, and I don't think my desire comes from a mean place. What do you guys think about a possible proximity with sadism? Is there a thick line between us and them? And also, I've read many disabled people (manly woman) go on about how they find devotees creepy, stalkers, and actually avoid them; but then go bitching about the fact that their relationships never last long, and always end with the other person having issues with their chair/disability. They thinking it is creepy that people feel attracted to them precisely because they are disabled wouldn't be a little self deprecating? As if a person who loves and desires them just the way they are would have to be certainly crazy! I'm like....whaaaaat??? What do you think?? PS: I still haven't got the chance to meet a real life high quad, only in my dreams! Just waiting for my lucky day... oh boy, where do I even start with this one, ahaha. Okay so first off, welcome to the boards Melina. As I'm sure many of the other guys and gals here alike will tell you, we're stoked to have ya. So this kind of topic is touched on here a lot, and in general when talking about devotees, it's bound to come up at some point or another. The social stigma surrounding it is very real. I mean, hell where I live, we only just now got around to legalizing gay marriage, and the backlash has been huge (not a perfect comparison, but hey, roll with me here). I can only speak for myself, as both a dev (yes, I do identify as one) and a pwd, but I'll give it a shot. Now, to answer you first question in regards to sadism and devoteeism, I would like start off by saying that there is NOTHING inherently wrong with either of these. Sadism is fine, Devoteeism is fine. I would even go so far as to say it's okay to be a dev and a sadist at the same time (I can think of a few guys that would be perfect for, in fact). Now, as far as whether or not these two things are intertwined, I definitely won't rule it out as a possibility. Human sexuality is a complex subject that people have been studying for a very long time, and still have basically no idea how it works. Suffice to say, you like what you like. Whether that be choking yourself, animals, the disabled, or any other random thing you can think of, that's just how it is. Now, there is a very big difference between the two, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they can't be related or even caused by one another. The way I see it, is that everything you are as a person is a result of every of thing you are/have been as a person. Have you ever discovered something new that you liked, and then later looked back and realized that whatever new thing you found shares similarities with OTHER things you already liked? This is what I'm getting at, and I think it applies to the nature of human sexuality as well. Devoteeism may overlap with sadism from time to time, but there's definitely a clear line between the two. I'll try and illustrate this point using an example from my own personal perspective. I'm attracted to female arm amps, however I am the farthest thing from a sadist (or put more simply one who enjoys the suffering of others). I find the differences and challenges to overcome incredibly fascinating, and I even find that there's a certain level of level of helplessness involved with it that really just flips my switches. If I compare what specifically does it for me with female arm amps to what does it for me just in general (as in, with any partner really). The similarities are there and very real (totally love tying up girl's hands/arms so they're at my mercy <3). I understand that not everyone will have this kind of clarity into their own likes and desires, but I think that if a lot of people were able to figure it out, they'd probably find plenty of similarities as well. This can very easily extend into the realm of sadism - but more importantly, sadism can extend into the realm of devoteeism. What you really need to ask yourself is for one, what is it that you truly find attractive about high SCI, and for two, are you actually a sadist? Forget whether or not devoteeism borders on it or not. They're different. Ask yourself and the take the time needed to come to your own conclusions on your own sexuality, because nobody else will have the answers. They may help you there, they may give you other perspectives and insight, but ultimately only you know. This actually leads me perfectly into my next point, which is weird because usually by this point, I'm so far into a post that it's just a scrambled mess of paragraphs with no structure. Like with anything, it's important to understand boundaries. Sadists (USUALLY) don't go walking down the street, causing random strangers pain just to get their jollies. As a matter of fact, most of them are just like devs - normal ass people. Likewise, devotees don't go around catcalling the dis guys and talking about how hot those crutches are (well some of you might, but you get my point). It's common sense, and when one person of a certain delineation decides to be a jackass, it can give a bad name to everyone of that delineation. It's just human nature. If you were a disabled person and you had a bad experience with a devotee+sadist that didn't understand how boundaries and social interaction worked, your brain would be going "yeah this never needs to happen again, fuck devotees. all of 'em". This is obviously flawed, as you can't just make huge generalizations like that of off anecdotal evidence, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. As for your last point, I'm really not sure the relevance here. I mean, they are absolutely entitled to feel that way about devotees. I can 100% understand why an individual would find it unsettling that there are people out there who find them attractive because of their disability. Like everyone though, these people are influenced by their own experience. What and who they are, are a product of what they have been given in life. I don't even mean to necessarily relate that to having bad experiences with devs, but just how the person is in general. To use myself as an example - I am an incredibly open minded individual, and I'm not an idiot either. Even before I knew the term devotee, I assumed they existed just off of common sense. So when I heard the term and found out, it wasn't with shock or horror, it was with an open mind and an "oh, of course this is an actual thing". As for the whole bit about "and then go bitching about the fact their relationships never last long...etc" with all do respect, I hate the tone of this. It's as if you're implying "oh, you're tired of your shit relationship failing? then go look for this specific niche ass group of people who will like you because of your disability because nobody else will be able to see past it, dumb ass." What if they don't want a relationship with a dev? What if they want the disability to sit in the back seat of things and NOT be the focus of their partner? What if they just aren't comfortable with that idea or don't want to try and find a frickin' needle in a haystack (aka finding a compatible dev). Bottom line is there are many reasons a disabled person could and would find a devotee NOT ideal. I'm not saying the hate for devotees is justified in any way (though like with any group, there are definitely plenty of bad apples), but people are free to make their own choices for their own reasons. WHEW! That was a long one, and I'm about of steam now. Think I'm gonna go enjoy a nice hot shower. Anyways, I hope this post was insightful and answered a few of your questions. Thanks for making this intro, I really needed something to wake me up and get me to post. The board has been so slow lately. Wow...huge posts frighten me!! Hahaha The "I find the differences and challenges to overcome incredibly fascinating, and I even find that there's a certain level of level of helplessness involved with it that really just flips my switches.." I can relate to. just addressing the original thoughts that got me here to get them off the table, don't mean no judgement.
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Post by MotorcycleCrash on Jul 2, 2015 0:01:09 GMT -5
welcome… BTW, quads are the best. Especially high ones… I know because I am one. Nothing wrong with devs, they are just normal people with abnormal attractions. Who wants a normie anyway, those dudes are a bunch of walking losers if you ask me
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Post by Gale on Jul 2, 2015 0:18:06 GMT -5
Wow...huge posts frighten me!! Hahaha The "I find the differences and challenges to overcome incredibly fascinating, and I even find that there's a certain level of level of helplessness involved with it that really just flips my switches.." I can relate to. just addressing the original thoughts that got me here to get them off the table, don't mean no judgement. Haha, sorry. I just felt like typing a lot today. Usually I'm the one who sits in the back of threads and throws spit balls. Anyways, I figured you didn't mean any harm by it given the tone of your post, but still, it crossed my mind so I just threw into the post. *shrug*
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Post by Pony on Jul 2, 2015 3:34:33 GMT -5
Welcome to da jungle of exotic animals...hehe Beijos!
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