...perspective

[Pony]

Today, as I waited on my van at Firestone, getting an oil change. An older woman sat down near me in the lounge. She was easily into 70s, and she immediately struck up conversation, “So how long you been in that chair,?” she asked. I told her since I was 21, after a car accident. She replied back’, “Oh, my son was in a chair..paralyzed from waist down.” He was 22 when he had a car wreck, too, she continued. “He died eight years ago.”

I must say, I’m amazed when I run into people that have been affected somehow by spinal cord injury. It’s just more common than I usually imagine.

After a few minutes of her discussing how active he was, despite the chair, I told her I’m a quadriplegic at C4-C5 level. Her son was a T-something, and it was obvious she was proud of him for going on in life. I explained briefly the differences of a quad vs para, and she agreed I do amazingly well for my level of injury, asking me, “Do you live on your own?”

I was so curious why her son died, because to me, a para stands a much better chance of staying healthy than a quad. We’d talked for, what I thought, long enough to ask, so I just did. She had no trouble answering, “Oh, he had sores on his rear that got infected.” She went on to tell me that her son spent the last eight years on a gurney, in prone position. Eventually, he ended up in a nursing home in California, where he passed away very near my age, at 58. I hid my shock, but inside I thought, “Oh man, that’s too early for me. I have too many plans.”

There are days that my limitations slap me in the face, proving to me that I’m truly a prisoner resigned to live my days out in a small cell. However, after that short conversation with this woman, I felt the cell, that I still occupy, had grown in size. Suddenly, I was more grateful for whatever freedom I have, glad to be alive without the stress, pain and greater limitations a bad sore can be. Knowing in a few minutes I was going to drive out of there never felt so good.

My van came down off the lift, and before leaving I wished her luck, and thanked her for the conversation. Ii told her at some point in our talk that “being alive is not the same as living,” and I was sure glad to be living my life, not just alive.

[blueskye101]

Tony really nice. Touched me and made me really sigh because we all forget how lucky we are when we are moaning and groaning as life gets us down. But at least we get that opportunity to DO the moaning and groaning/ Thanks for sharing that.

[alexa2010]

Thank you Tony.

[Deleted]

As usual..very touchy.
Thanks a lot.

[mikefatty]

very good story. definitely touching. i know its not the main point of the story , but its things like this that make it more and more apparent how urgent pressure sores can be. and the fact that i have one does not make it better. i would hate to have an infection do me in.

[Pony]

Yah kinda scared me about that, too, Mikey...i have a small one now, too, and it comes n goes, but it's been raging before, and only hurts when I get in bed. I'm lucky it hasn't turned worse, but usually it heals, albeit, taking months to heal coz I'm on it day n night. There was a few reasons I wrote that, not just the touchy feely one, but that, too.

[Deleted]

It is a very touching story Tony...may all you guys be spared severe pressure sores and live as healthy as can be pertaining to your disability! Hugs

[c5rollman]

After my accident, I was told that I can count on about 15 years. That was a bit of a shock, since I very good feel and I was still very young.
Now I know all is well. Just be aware that it is the bladder well and you do not have decubitus only. There is so much I want to do and I think to myself, I should soon make so long I'm fine.

[Pony]

Thanks Danilicious...yah, we all go through tougher life than most know. bt man, i count my lucky stars that i do this well 35 yrs post injury. Still, i'm at a level that i have frustrations n stress, however, i'm a brilliant fuckin fighter.

C5, yah man, you can't subscribe to anything the professionals tell u...just live ur life, you'll probably beat their odds by a lot. and ur a goodlookin dude, better than most AB guys.