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Post by wheelsgirl on Oct 21, 2007 23:49:19 GMT -5
hello All, my name is Kathy and I am a new member here.
I have worked in the home care industry with SCI's for 14 years.
Recently, I have started dating a wonderful man that is a T-10 SCI, injured 30 years ago at the age of 13 (I am 34 myself). and honestly, have never been happier. This is the first time I have dated someone in a chair.
My question is more physically based then anything.
I am wondering... I know sexually that he has learned INCREDIBLE ways to satisfy a female partner (that would be me lol) but I am wondering.... what are some ways to satisfy him? I know his nipples and chest are highly sensitive, but through talking to him, he says that in all his relationships, while maybe coming close, he has never orgasmed. I want to please him and would love to know what seems to work best for others other there in our situation.
I want to thank all in advance for helping me through this, as being on the girlfriend side of things is a whole new perspective.
Blessings to all.
Kathy
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Post by mrjefffurz on Oct 22, 2007 13:05:39 GMT -5
kathy, every place on his body above his injury level is probably hyper-sensitive,,,,for me, my neck, ears, back of my neck,,,down my back right to the last place i can feel are super-charged...ive only experienced 1 thing i would categorize as an orgasm & that was with a woman who had been married to a cripdude and had learned all the secrets,,,,dont overlook his hands,,,fingers(where there are more nerve endings than anywhere else) and arms,,,,eyelids, even,,,,with me it seems the softer, gentler the more the charge...except that spot where neck & shhoulder meet,,,hope that gives you a few ideas,,,,
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Post by Pony on Oct 22, 2007 18:20:00 GMT -5
Kathy....good question, and goodluck in your chairdude adventures!! ; ) Every chairdude is different, and so I can only tell what works for me. First, I have zero sensation from nips down, and while I like when a girl touches my legs, or even kisses them, I REALLY dig touching her!!! And I mean that in ALL ways, not just physically, although when the mind is connected to the heart, and da heart is directly connected to the clit, then it's an extremely intense mental sensation to me. I like to think me AND the girl are exploring her body and mind together.
I've had girls ask me how they can get me off...the answer is difficult to explain, but it's really about that hot playful connection that eventually turns oral from my point, and I've ALWAYS loved that part of sex.
Happy Exploration, and 'welcome to the jungle!! '
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Post by wheelsgirl on Oct 23, 2007 14:34:01 GMT -5
thank you both for your ideas. I notice that with the hyper sensitivity its kinda limited as he fights in MMA (only 1 of 3 wheelchair fighters in the US)and holds multiple black belts in various Martial Arts which even with an able bodied people you numb yourself in many ways.
The biggest thing though.... do you chairdudes ever get tired?!?!?! He tells me we havent even gotten to sex yet, that we have maybe made it to three play! God help me, I feel like my insides are in different places then when we started most days! (he is quite the comical one I tell ya) He explains to me that with the lack of orgasm, that he never fully feels done. Do I need to share this man so I am not totally worn out? I am on a rest right now, as we were both living in the same state for awhile but he needed to move back to MN for awhile and so I came back to CO for awhile but plan to move to him when I can. I miss my little energizer bunny!
Thank you all for being so awesome. I was told of this site by one of my old clients and I am so glad he did. I guess he say the devo in me before I did.
Hope you are all having an awesome day & thanks for being here.
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Post by devogirl on Oct 23, 2007 15:25:34 GMT -5
I have had this "problem" in the past with a para who could not orgasm, after many hours and nearly passing out with exhaustion I asked, "How do you know when you're done?" and he just shrugged... If you're still having fun that's great, but don't be shy about stopping or taking a break if you need to, don't feel like you are required to perform extra to somehow make it up for him.
This same para claimed that it was possible to have a nipple orgasm, and we certainly tried. He said a few times he felt close, but it never happened. As with anything else, too much of a good thing can become increasingly less fun. The best times were when we concentrated on feeling good rather than working towards the elusive nipple orgasm goal. When we focused too much on that one thing, it was just frustrating.
You might try some extreme sensations if he has a high pain threshold, like nipple clamps (better than clothespins because you can adjust the pressure). Just remember it hurts the most when you take it off.
Also if he wants a 3some, he should just ask straight out. I can't tell if your question is serious or joking, but you know that wanting a 3rd partner has nothing to do with being a para, right?
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Post by wheelsgirl on Oct 23, 2007 15:45:45 GMT -5
lol no, the 3rd partner was a joke. He is actually a good boy in many ways just with the bad boy image. He has in the past done the 3-somes, parties & such but totally changed his life around before me.
He has said the same thing of the nipple orgasm he has come close but not all the way. I have thought a lot of the sensation play ideas like violet wands, vampire gloves, clamps and the like. I cant wait to move and we will have more time to play. I love our conversations more then anything. We have not explored heavy into the sexual aspect, even though I stayed with him for several weeks. I never have felt pressured by him which is great. So far I am happier in this relationship then with anyone in my past. Makes me wonder why it took me so long to come to grips with my true desire
Thanks again
Kathy
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Post by E on Oct 23, 2007 16:56:54 GMT -5
I think when she said "three play" it was a play on words, meaning they haven't even approached foreplay. Get it? Threeplay, foreplay...
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Post by wheelsgirl on Oct 23, 2007 17:26:11 GMT -5
oh yeah, thats exactly what he meant. He is such a nut lol
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Post by devogirl on Oct 23, 2007 21:56:08 GMT -5
Wow, sounds great! Good for you!! Definitely invest in a set of nipple clamps, they are cheap and offer hours of fun. Also consider the pinwheel: www.goodvibes.com/Item--i-1-8-EL-0201--m-24It's cheap, safe, lo-tech and gets a BIG reaction. However, I'd be careful with that violet wand  I have read recommendations not to use any electric device above the waist, and certainly not anywhere right near the heart. Some devices offer more of a jolt than others, but I would research VERY carefully and thoroughly before playing with electricity. |
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Post by Georgia on Oct 24, 2007 5:06:57 GMT -5
(showing my cluelessness...) Vampire gloves??!?
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Post by wheelsgirl on Oct 24, 2007 21:48:32 GMT -5
Vampire gloves are YUMMY! Especially if you are into sensation play and a bit of a pain slut (Im not speaking from experience, really lol)
They are usually leather (you can also do a rabbit fur type mitt) with several needle like spikes coming out of the fingers and palms, maybe 1/8 of an inch. When you run your hand over someone with the back of your hand, its just a soft leather (or fur) but when you switch to the palm, awesome needles in your flesh.
Rabbit fur is my favorite because I love the furry feeling better then the leather feeling.
Hope this answered some questions, if you have more, let me know!!
Kathy
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Post by Georgia on Oct 25, 2007 4:58:13 GMT -5
Thanks for the response, but...uh....um...I think I know all I want to know...
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Oct 30, 2007 19:37:09 GMT -5
My advice is to experiment with him. Everyone is different (thankfully, lol) and respond differently. Find what really turns him on (maybe dirty talk, sub behavior, video, fantasy play, etc) and really work him up MENTALLY before you try to go for the gold.
Plus, each lover is different (in abilities, techniques, approach, etc) so what might have worked with Sally might not with Sue.
Talk to him.
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Post by luv2play on Jun 22, 2008 14:32:33 GMT -5
You ever get a satisfying answer? From a quad you knows best...LOL...
Cya soon,
Brat
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I have read recommendations not to use any electric device above the waist, and certainly not anywhere right near the heart. Some devices offer more of a jolt than others, but I would research VERY carefully and thoroughly before playing with electricity.