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Post by wheelzoffortune on Apr 18, 2016 15:17:14 GMT -5
People come up to me while I'm eating out or shopping for groceries sometimes and say things like "you are so inspirational."
Thankfully, people like that aren't very common.
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Apr 18, 2016 15:56:47 GMT -5
I like to mindfuck them when they do that. I respond with "inspire you to do what? Cure cancer? Finish reading that novel on your dresser? Eat a PB&J sammich? Burn down an orphanage?" I'll go with the last one. |
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Post by Clair deLune on Apr 18, 2016 16:13:32 GMT -5
I am more concerned that if there is someone out there who is injured and becomes quadriplegic, that will think "I'd better just kill myself" and everyone around them, their friends, family, etc, will think, "this is so sad. If he wants to kill himself I won't argue with that." Since we've all been provided with a prime example of a guy who had everything going for him - smart, wealthy, supportive family, girl in love with him, endless resources... and HE killed himself, how can anyone else be expected not to?
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Apr 18, 2016 16:43:18 GMT -5
I am more concerned that if there is someone out there who is injured and becomes quadriplegic, that will think "I'd better just kill myself" and everyone around them, their friends, family, etc, will think, "this is so sad. If he wants to kill himself I won't argue with that." Since we've all been provided with a prime example of a guy who had everything going for him - smart, wealthy, supportive family, girl in love with him, endless resources... and HE killed himself, how can anyone else be expected not to? Really? Does a stupid romantic drama have that big of an impact on people? I sure hope not. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2016 16:56:32 GMT -5
I am more concerned that if there is someone out there who is injured and becomes quadriplegic, that will think "I'd better just kill myself" and everyone around them, their friends, family, etc, will think, "this is so sad. If he wants to kill himself I won't argue with that." Since we've all been provided with a prime example of a guy who had everything going for him - smart, wealthy, supportive family, girl in love with him, endless resources... and HE killed himself, how can anyone else be expected not to? I have no idea what this movie is but I want to address the part about the "guy with it all" killing himself after becoming a quad. I've said this a thousand times and still believe that the simple fact is - not everyone is wired to live this life. Even fewer are equipped to thrive. When you go out and see a quad getting a drink with buddies, or coming home from work, or getting groceries, I think it's safe to say that you're seeing the "cream of the crop', so to speak. I live in a city of a couple hundred thousand people and used to work with many PWDs but guess how many I see out and about? I wish that wasn't the case but my experiences tell me it is. |
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cooks
Full Member
Posts: 179
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by cooks on Apr 18, 2016 17:14:06 GMT -5
I am more concerned that if there is someone out there who is injured and becomes quadriplegic, that will think "I'd better just kill myself" and everyone around them, their friends, family, etc, will think, "this is so sad. If he wants to kill himself I won't argue with that." Since we've all been provided with a prime example of a guy who had everything going for him - smart, wealthy, supportive family, girl in love with him, endless resources... and HE killed himself, how can anyone else be expected not to? Wow, spoiler alert much? Jk, wouldn't have seen it anyway. Though I see where you're coming from, I much, much prefer this to The Sessions. We need more desirable (desirably?) disabled leads to counteract the popular notion of disabled people as undateable, even with suicidal ambitions. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2016 17:27:40 GMT -5
We need more desirable (desirably?) disabled leads to counteract the popular notion of disabled people as undateable, even with suicidal ambitions. I suppose I'll jump on that grenade, who wants to make a movie with me? I'm sure some of the talented writers here can come up with a great script.  |
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Post by lars on Apr 18, 2016 18:03:29 GMT -5
Yeah, it was after this movie came out that two policemen showed up at my gym looking for me when I was training my back. True story, not kidding or anything.
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Post by harmonniousvision on Apr 18, 2016 18:52:22 GMT -5
i think it can effect perceptions even subliminally. Its kind of gag worthy... We've already heard those stories enough or it wouldn't have sparked enough interest to make a movie... And in my opinion the book anyways wasn't really "romantic" like women aren't going to see this movie to see a romance or if that draws them into the theater what will keep them their is the "tragedy"
And what was wrong with "The Sessions" I kind of loved that movie because it was openly exploring the sexuality of PWDs unashamedly saying "Hey everybody deserves sex!"
what MNG brings up is true too BUT i'm kind of fond of the quote "You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." Now that could be hippy dippy BS too but its been true in my life for me. Some people tho don't want to rise and thats ok do what works for you live your life in the way that works for you.
I think societal influences also has a huge impact on people getting out tho... I could draw poor parallels with other examples but accessibility, inspiration porn being so rampant etc... one bad day out for one person may hinder their desire to go out at all and they feel safer inside their bubble. That's horrible but its the world we live in. Do i think they should be going to rehab clinics passing out suicide prescriptions... Not at all... There's a lot that has to change.
I would be ECSTATIC to see a REAL rom com with a REAL disabled actor in the male lead! haha
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Apr 18, 2016 19:11:41 GMT -5
Yeah, it was after this movie came out that two policemen showed up at my gym looking for me when I was training my back. True story, not kidding or anything. The film hasn't even come out yet. Duh. *rolls eyes* |
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Post by Celaena on Apr 18, 2016 19:49:42 GMT -5
So listening to the podcast today when the discussion led to Me Before You, I got to thinking about something. This is more an issue for the gimps...er PWDS here, but can easily affect devs too. I was wondering if the general public will watch that movie, then see disabled guys and panic thinking "oh no, he's not super-duper gimpspirational happy, he's gonna want to commit suicide, I must SAVE HIM NOW!" Like, if I'm sitting in the restaurant eating my pasta fagioli and I don't look like some Care Bear of glee and wonderment, if people will come up to me and say "life is worth living, cheer up bud." I'll probably go to jail, because throwing Italian soup at them is probably assault and battery. I've actually been thinking about the positive effects that this might have on devs. I am sure there are a lot more of us out there who maybe don't know what being a dev means or have been unwilling to explore it. Perhaps with this movie, they'll be more likely to explore that avenue and be open to it. Some purposeful internet searching might be able to lead them to us, so all the better for more conversation! At least that is my hope! And regardless of the message in the movie, I don't mind looking at Sam Clafin for a few hours. :-) |
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Post by lars on Apr 18, 2016 21:12:25 GMT -5
Yeah, it was after this movie came out that two policemen showed up at my gym looking for me when I was training my back. True story, not kidding or anything. The film hasn't even come out yet. Duh. *rolls eyes* It's difficult to remember which cringe-worthy movie you are talking about, as the disabled guy always kills himself. Duh. *rolls eyes* |
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Post by lars on Apr 18, 2016 21:34:36 GMT -5
I don't know if this movie is going to have an effect on people bothering us, but i think it's going to be a very temporary and short-lived if that's the case. The general public has the attention span and the memory of an ADHD-kid. Long term, I think we have a bit of a same problem as the male gay community has/used to have when it comes to stereotypes and how they are portrayed in the movies/TV entertainment. That topic overall has been discussed elsewhere on this site, probably oh so many times in the history of PD. It's an interesting topic anyways.
I'll pray the cripple away from you tonight, B4D.
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Post by devogirl on Apr 18, 2016 21:58:31 GMT -5
I suppose I'll jump on that grenade, who wants to make a movie with me? I'm sure some of the talented writers here can come up with a great script. Open on snow-encrusted street scene in the upper Midwest. Tight shot of a wheel plowing through the slush. Pan up to the bearded face of MR NICE GUY MNG smiles as he greets people along his way [establishing that he is a nice guy] A NUBILE YOUNG DEV approaches and favors him with a smoldering look. Smash cut to MNG and NYD in bed together Two hour sex scene END roll credits |
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Post by Corey on Apr 18, 2016 21:58:42 GMT -5
I see two things.
One, since the movie is about a disabled person having a romantic relationship, anyone watching will literally be thinking about disabled people dating. This is a thought that has probably never crossed many peoples' minds.
Two, because of the ending, you may have people thinking a disabled person cant live as fulfilling life as someone else. Now I dont know the details in the book / movie, so perhaps there is some nuance that Im missing. but this is how I see it as of now.
So possibly one good thing and one bad thing. I do think how disabled people are portrayed in movies and TV does affect how society views them. But I think the best thing you can do is have a PWD where his or her disability is not the main focus. This doesnt happen too often but Im seeing it more and more.
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