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Post by jrm on Jul 22, 2016 12:32:00 GMT -5
My devness is not purely sexual. It encompasses far more than that ... the interest in disabilities, the lifestyle, etc. So, for me at least, I think I will always be a dev. Although I am not quite ready for the old folks' home, I AM older than the majority of devs on here, and let's just say that my hormones have changed a bit over the years. And, honestly, the older I get, the more I have accepted the dev part of me, embraced it, and acted on it. I'm more a dev now than I ever have been.
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Post by kivic on Jul 22, 2016 13:41:09 GMT -5
I don't foresee losing any part of my devness as I grow older, even on the Tuesday night fish and chips  I'd like to think that it'll evolve as it has my whole life and instead of being so incredibly intense at times it'll remain at a nice buzzing level and not too all consuming; this may come with shifts in hormones as well once, you know, MENOPAUSE. In my experience there seems to be a PWD for all age groups, and really, the older you get the less you care about other people's opinions so you'll have the freedom to Dev as much as you like. Plus, there's always fiction and tv and YouTube and movies to supplement the dry spells. |
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Post by malibu on Jul 22, 2016 13:45:33 GMT -5
I've just had a PM from a wonderful 'old-er' lady on here who shall remain anonymous, as is her wish. She assures me it's NOT hormonal. That the love she feels for a certain PWD is stronger, deeper and more amazing than anything she has ever felt before. That although it tears her apart (because it's a one sided love), that depth of feeling proves to her that she has the capacity to love another with every fibre of her being. That she is not frigid or non-sexual, but a complete woman in every way. I hope I've done her PM justice in trying to convey her sentiments here. She wanted me to share... Wow that's beautiful! It's sad too, because it's one-sided.  Thanks for sharing |
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Post by Paradise on Jul 22, 2016 14:14:19 GMT -5
I would like to hope that I'll be a dev 'til the day I die, I'd hate to lose my quirkiness, but I don't know how much of what I feel is driven by hormones. Even the need to emotionally connect. Is that a just thing driven by the need to find a mate? Idk... The need to emotionally connect - I'm not sure how that will change as I grow older over the years. "Those years" seem like twice a lifetime away, but right now the emotional connection is important to me. However, I try to think of every elderly person that I know, and none of them seem to be reaching out for new emotional connections. There seems to be more of a focus on enjoying familial relationships at that point, or the weekly outings with friends. Older folks seem to get a lot out of those kinds of things, rather than taking out ads in the newspaper: "Lonely 70+ Dev Looking for Love." At this point, I can't imagine the dev ever leaving me, or NOT being a part of my life. But I always have a hard time imagining that far into the future - I don't think it would be such a center focus in my life at that point, for sure. I've been told I'm most likely in my prime years of sexuality, and there's no doubt I believe that. I want to make the most of it too, because I don't feel like I'd be this carefree and enthusiastic in acting on my dev desires years into the future. My devness isn't all sexual; like other statements above, I am interested in many aspects of disability. I don't think I had any disability-related sexual thoughts or fantasies until my 20s, and I didn't act on any of them or have any real-life experiences until I was 30. The interest in disability will NEVER leave me - I'm sure of that. I can foresee my passion for knowledge about disability still being a HUGE role in my life, in my 60s, 70s, and beyond! I'm just not sure how much of the sexual desire will still be important or "actively fed" at that point. And to keep it real, I'd be perfectly happy, fulfilled, and content in every devvy way - sexual, emotional, informational, and more - if my guy was still "my guy" way into our 70s. But I can't even go there right now with that thought; it's scary to imagine happiness, to paint a whole picture of how you'd like things to be, only to have reality creep in and replace my happy thoughts with feelings that make it hard to breathe. I want him there and he belongs there with me, in old age. If modern medicine can come through on this one little request, now's the time. TL;DR: My interest in disability will never fade away, but my devvy sexual desires will probably lessen in intensity as I age. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2016 19:19:23 GMT -5
First, I didn't even realize you spelled it wrong until you pointed it out...  I don't think my dev will go away...I have found that getting older I have evolved in my sexuality where nowadays I know so much clearer what gets me off. My hormones fluctuate of course so there are more phases of low or high sex drive but I know now what I want and need to be satisfied. And depending on my hormones I am good to go for a few days a month at least...  As for the whole dev thing, again, for me it is not sexually driven, I'm interested in every aspect of the disability and the person. I do not need the disability to get off on. I find some men in wheelchairs just super hot and attractive but I am interested in the whole person. My first thought when I see one is not "Oh, I want to have sex with him"...there are a lot more intense emotions involved. Sex is not the priority... |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2016 20:12:31 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder about my mom, she is 75...she kind of had this "helper syndrome" first in marrying my dad who was pretty messed up psychologically and she helped him through life for 20 years until he left her and then all through her life I see this red line where she either talks about disabled people or knows disabled people, even nowadays where she still volunteers in a nursing home...but she always talks about disabled folks in a pitying way which annoys me...I don't know if this could be indicators for her being a dev...
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Post by kivic on Jul 22, 2016 20:26:47 GMT -5
@inkdevil you must have been thinking about TiLite  |
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Post by newjess on Jul 23, 2016 1:09:09 GMT -5
OhMyGod! I've just realised I've spelled twilight wrong...and it's in the title of the thread, so I can't change it!! The horror! The SHAME! I'm so sorry. How embarrassing. I didn't notice either! And if it's any consolation your post made me legitimately lol This is a really interesting topic... something I hadn't thought about. I personally think I will always be dev - it's just such a huge part of me. Really good point on how older devs may not ever know their true selves... we're pretty lucky to have the resources we have. Holding it in for 10 years was so hard on me, physically, emotionally, psychologically... everything. I can't imagine what it must feel like to never get the chance to explore it. Also, your senior citizens sound like they have way more fun then the seniors here in the states.. fish and chips on Fridays sounds awesome! |
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Post by dolly on Jul 23, 2016 1:12:42 GMT -5
OhMyGod! I've just realised I've spelled twilight wrong...and it's in the title of the thread, so I can't change it!! The horror! The SHAME! I'm so sorry. How embarrassing. i changed it for you. feel not ashamed. |
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Post by blueskye101 on Jul 24, 2016 13:48:49 GMT -5
[quote author="@inkdevil" source="/post/159840/thread" timestamp="1469234047"
Oh yes, I've remembered. Do you reckon there are many (or any) self-aware devs around who are in their 70's right now? I mean, when they grew up, became sexually aware, married and had kids, there was no internet. The majority probably still haven't got a Kindle or a laptop or a Smartphone. I don't know of any dev on here who even falls into the 60+ bracket. Just think how weird it would be to go your whole lifetime without knowing what you are. [/quote]
Ahem, I'm coming up on 61 inky. 1 foot not in the grave yet. Lol. I think you've got something with the people my age and older. We did not have Internet access growing up. I found this place by accident looking for books. Would never have thought of googling anything since didn't know there was a "thing". Never had a name for it or any concept that others thought the same way. Now... On to the sex drive. Mine was near to sshriveled up and gone fore many years because of many issues when young and then kids, work, gay husband so I just kept stuffing it down. After finding this place I feel as if water was thrown on me and I have been revived. Sex drive very alive and kicking more than any time in my life. I'm 10 years past menopause so don't think you have anything to worry about. I think some issues are that guys in my age range also are not too tech savvy so don't see many on here or they are well and good hooked up or physically not in great shape. Have met a couple of great guys though even if no fireworks. May be too late for me and that's ok but haven't given up the dream yet.
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Post by Maurine on Jul 25, 2016 8:09:21 GMT -5
That's an interesting question! Being in my twenties, I can't offer an older dev's perspective, but in my view, it would be strange if my dev desires disappeared, since even one of my very earliest memories is related to my devness. I'm glad to hear that dev desires can still be very strong and intense when you're older. I have also wondered if your devness fades into the background at least temporarily if you have children.
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Post by eva on Jul 25, 2016 8:57:34 GMT -5
I'm one of the older devs on this board, still far from 70 though, but I'm still the same dev as I was when I was 20 (or before for that matter). Actually, the more you grow, the more you get to know yourself sexually and the better it gets. For me, being a dev is a sexual orientation, and it doesn't change according to hormones or libido. Does a person who is gay become straight at 70? |
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Post by kivic on Jul 25, 2016 13:03:21 GMT -5
That's an interesting question! Being in my twenties, I can't offer an older dev's perspective, but in my view, it would be strange if my dev desires disappeared, since even one of my very earliest memories is related to my devness. I'm glad to hear that dev desires can still be very strong and intense when you're older. I have also wondered if your devness fades into the background at least temporarily if you have children. My devness almost completely disappeared along with my libido after I had children. During pregnancy I was 3x as horny as regularly! Caring for infants is a 24/7 job with little time for anything, but as they grow more independent you become more aware of your self and your sexuality gradually returns. That's my experience anyway. |
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Post by Emma on Jul 25, 2016 17:06:05 GMT -5
Oh yes, I've remembered. Do you reckon there are many (or any) self-aware devs around who are in their 70's right now? I mean, when they grew up, became sexually aware, married and had kids, there was no internet. The majority probably still haven't got a Kindle or a laptop or a Smartphone. I don't know of any dev on here who even falls into the 60+ bracket. Just think how weird it would be to go your whole lifetime without knowing what you are. There are older male devs I have come across in the internet. A lot of them got on the internet very early on and created the start of what we see now online for devs but back them it was disabled chatrooms on IRC and picture sharing websites. Before the internet there were magazines with a focus on disability and newspaper personal adds. I think there was even a female amputee that had some magazine that kind of catered to devs. The older devs linked up those ways and had group meet ups and shared real pictures and VHS tapes with each other. It's fascinating to learn about and amazing it even happened but then again there was life before the internet, its just hard for us to understand. |
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Post by harmonniousvision on Jul 26, 2016 1:04:48 GMT -5
That's an interesting question! Being in my twenties, I can't offer an older dev's perspective, but in my view, it would be strange if my dev desires disappeared, since even one of my very earliest memories is related to my devness. I'm glad to hear that dev desires can still be very strong and intense when you're older. I have also wondered if your devness fades into the background at least temporarily if you have children. Yes, your interest in everything dulls down to a low background hum after the kids are born. Especially for the first two to three years. There's literally no time to think about anything or anyone else but them. They are the centre of your universe, whether you want that to be the case or not. Now they're older I am reclaiming my lost years. All those times where I was nothing more than a transparency. Hopefully I will meet someone one day who won't assume I'm nothing more than someone who gives, gives, gives. I'm not JUST a mother/lover/wife/provider of things and giver of love. I'm also someone who desires to be desired, admired, treated, spoilt, adored and lusted after. I want someone to take care of my emotional wellbeing and to physically hold me close. I'd go to the ends of the earth for the right man, but when I turn to look, I want him to be right there with me, not watching fucking football with one hand down his pants and the other on the remote. I am a romantic fool and I will not give up on my dream that I can meet my equal! On that note I'm shuffling off to bed alone, in my slippers. hot damn inky i couldn't have said it better!!! the whole of it brilliant! sooo very very similar to my experience.... When my daughter was about 2 i woke up realized i'd given ALL OF ME to a house and kids and a man who didn't see me... i started reclaiming me... and part of me was the dev.... i never want to put her away in a drawer again... i still had my fantasies tho WHEN i wanted sex... |
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