wandering and wondering

[wheeledone]

Triassic said:

That idea of a dev introducing herself by saying that she used to date a guy in a chair-even if it isn't true-is not bad...not bad at all.

I'm not in favor of lying-even slightly-but in this case it would be OK, I think. 1, It breaks the ice, and 2, it indicates that you consider wheelers to be b/f material, without blurting it out some way.

Something like this would probably work:

"Hi!...I hope you don't mind; I was looking at your chair: is that a Quickie2? This guy I used to date used one of those."

It helps in a number of tricky situations. Say I want to approach a stripper. She gets hit on by most guys who come into the club, almost none of who does she consider datable, probably out of fear that they can't handle her lifestyle. So, what does one do? Wait for her to approach you for a paid dance, then say,

"Nah, I'm just here to have a beer and hang with my buds. My last girlfriend was a dancer, so I know how the game works. If you get a creepy guy after you, though, give me a signal and I'll rescue you. *wink*"

You may have never dated a dancer in your life, but now she immediately sees you as the type of guy a dancer would date. If the other dancer was willing to date you, there must be something about you that's worth exploring. Social validation is incredibly powerful.

There have been formal studies that showed that the same man in the same circumstances will receive more attention if he's wearing a wedding band than if he goes without. Why? If another woman was willing to marry him, there must be something about him that's worthwhile.

In my own personal experience, I've noticed that I get more attention from women when I'm with my (very beautiful) PCA. The presumption, of course, is that we're a couple. And if someone that beautiful is dating me, there must be something about me that's worth knowing.

Human nature and psychology is interesting stuff.

[wheelie37]

Can work another way though.

I have gone out for a drink with a good friend for many years.

She is a very attractive girl and we are very close, though not in a sexual way.

We have often been mistaken for being a couple.

We have had men come up to us and start chatting, always ends up with them trying to chat her up!

I have a lot of female friends ,specially as I strangely find them easier to talk too.

I am very easy to talk too, and possibly less intimidating then a lot of men who are only trying to get in their pants, not to say that I wouldnt if THEY showed n interest

[Pony]

wheeledone said:

Triassic said:

That idea of a dev introducing herself by saying that she used to date a guy in a chair-even if it isn't true-is not bad...not bad at all.

I'm not in favor of lying-even slightly-but in this case it would be OK, I think. 1, It breaks the ice, and 2, it indicates that you consider wheelers to be b/f material, without blurting it out some way.

Something like this would probably work:

"Hi!...I hope you don't mind; I was looking at your chair: is that a Quickie2? This guy I used to date used one of those."

It helps in a number of tricky situations. Say I want to approach a stripper. She gets hit on by most guys who come into the club, almost none of who does she consider datable, probably out of fear that they can't handle her lifestyle. So, what does one do? Wait for her to approach you for a paid dance, then say,

"Nah, I'm just here to have a beer and hang with my buds. My last girlfriend was a dancer, so I know how the game works. If you get a creepy guy after you, though, give me a signal and I'll rescue you. *wink*"

You may have never dated a dancer in your life, but now she immediately sees you as the type of guy a dancer would date. If the other dancer was willing to date you, there must be something about you that's worth exploring. Social validation is incredibly powerful.

There have been formal studies that showed that the same man in the same circumstances will receive more attention if he's wearing a wedding band than if he goes without. Why? If another woman was willing to marry him, there must be something about him that's worthwhile.

In my own personal experience, I've noticed that I get more attention from women when I'm with my (very beautiful) PCA. The presumption, of course, is that we're a couple. And if someone that beautiful is dating me, there must be something about me that's worth knowing.

Human nature and psychology is interesting stuff.

Dude, you're very right about "social validity"....i've had pretty girls that i've beenout with, and people, men AND women, treat you differently. I've had guys try to pick up the girl i'm with...unbelievable dogs that smell weakness!! But usually you just get treated with more respect...

[Triassic]

Yeaaah....but I think that sets up a weird vibe: feeling validated because your out and about with an attractive lady-who you're not sexually involved with but(perhaps secretly) wish you were.

I've been there myself. At first, it's sort of cool to be seen with her and all...but the fact is she's NOT fucking you. She IS going to fuck some other guy.

I find that situation sort of creepy. But that's just me.

[Pony]

haha....Triassic, i don't care if she's fckin somebody else if i'm not the dude at that time. i have this looong-time friend from Boston, she's unbelievably hott girl for 40 yrs old, and sometimes when she's in town we hook up for a beer....she's not my type, way too wild, still fckin way too many guys, but i love her friendship. Guys do some heavy staring when i'm out with her...i don't care what they think!!

[wheelie37]

Some men do find it strange that you can have a close female friend and not be having sex with her!
It is their loss and they are missing out a lot just thinking with thier dic`ks

Some friendships develop in to sexual ones , some in to close friendships that can last much longer
Obviously not as close as someone you have been intimate with, but still worthwhile