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Post by ajpchicago on Jul 9, 2006 0:43:40 GMT -5
I'm not quite sure where to start, so I'll start right here... My best friend has a SCI and we are going to Boston at the end of the month to meet a devotee that she has been talking to. Our discussions of this guy and 'devoteeism' in general has gotten me thinking a lot about my own life (and attractions). I am in grad school for Disability and Human Development and have worked in related fields since high school. I'm around a lot people with disabilities and have seriously dated two guys with SCI, one quad and one para. There were also a couple of not-so-serious encounters. Anyway, the point is that I think I might be a devotee. Not just the fact that I dated these guys, but that I was physically attracted to their bodies. At first, I thought it was a curiosity, based on the field I work in, but I found myself fantasizing about fictional guys with paralysis and seeking out guys in real life. I don't see it as a fetish or a kinky fantasy. When I envision my future life partner, he has a beautiful smile, great sense of humor,... and is sitting in a wheelchair. I have spent a lot of time trying to analyze the 'why' of my feelings, thinking that there is some sort of deep-seeded lacking in life that is drawing me to these thoughts. I'm tired of analyzing it, and feel like it's time to just go with it...for whatever the reason may be.
I'm not quite sure what to ask in order to start a conversation on this thread, but if any of this sparked a thought, story or emotion with any of you, I would love to hear about it. Also, please feel free to ask any questions. I'm really looking forward to being able to talk about this.
One more thing...I wanted to add my picture to my profile, but I'm a bit of a puterfool. Please help ;D
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Post by dolly on Jul 9, 2006 0:57:56 GMT -5
yes, ajp...i do believe you have come to the right place.  welcome. |
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Post by Triassic on Jul 9, 2006 1:08:30 GMT -5
I'd say you are a devotee.
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Post by ajpchicago on Jul 9, 2006 1:33:56 GMT -5
Yeah, I guess I am. Do I have to register with the state or change my driver's license or anything?
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Post by brendanuk on Jul 9, 2006 4:43:53 GMT -5
Welcome to the site |
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Post by wheelie37 on Jul 9, 2006 8:46:17 GMT -5
Yeah, I guess I am. Do I have to register with the state or change my driver's license or anything? No but you can buy paradevo shirts if you want!  |
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Post by Triassic on Jul 9, 2006 10:52:08 GMT -5
Yes, it's so easy to get hung up on labels. And "devotee" is just a label too. I geuss if there was REALLY no stigma attached to being sexual with a gimp, there'd be no need for a word like Devotee(or the inner turmoil). A disabled guy would be just another man you might or might not date.
I think things HAVE changed over the decades. My take is that having a relationship with a crip 35 years ago would have been *deeply* shocking to people, almost beyond contemptation. Now, I don't think it is.
One thing ajbchicago: you don't mention being atttracted from girlhood. I think most devs were.
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Post by Pisti on Jul 9, 2006 12:45:36 GMT -5
Hi ajbchicago, Welcome, and good luck to you to find that wheeler you are looking for.  |
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Post by vivi on Jul 9, 2006 12:48:54 GMT -5
Welcome ajp! So much of what you have posted could have been written by me... I do think you are a devo as well. |
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Post by ajpchicago on Jul 9, 2006 13:05:02 GMT -5
Before I go on...My name is Ashley. I would hate for you all to have to keep calling me ajp Anyway, I've always been pretty sexually open and curious, so I think I associated my feelings with curiosity in general. Now that I'm older, I am starting to see that it's a little more than that. About the labels, I do hesitate putting any label on myself that I don't fully understand. From what I know so far, I wouldn't mind the label 'devotee'. I just don't want people to assume that my association to devotism is strictly fetish/kink (not that fetish and kink are bad, mind you). So, thank you to Lee and the regulars here that have created so much dialogue about this. It's helped answer so many questions. |
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Post by brendanuk on Jul 9, 2006 13:17:39 GMT -5
Glad we could help Ashley |
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Post by Pony on Jul 9, 2006 17:21:55 GMT -5
Ashley chica...cool intro, and welcome!! I just joined this szite a few weeks ago, too, and so i've been sorting out things since. I've been c5c6 SCI for 26 yrs from car + tree at 21, and have rebuilt my life over the years, including many girl/sexual relationships over the time, but i had never really heard of the term "devo" until a buddy turned me onto this site... forced me to examine my past relations!! I think as you've been closely related to the field, seeing, touching, feeling, it's become very much part of you. It's kinda like not EVERY girl realizes that they might be attracted to other girls ...sometimes they discover this later!! I don't like the label "devotee"...sounds very submissive to me, but hell, i'm not in the "labels department". lol
I think you're smart to just let your feelings go...don't analyze too much!! You're just as "normal", or uh, äbnormal" as anybody else...at least, here!! lol
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2006 17:52:28 GMT -5
Hey welcome to the boards. Gimps on the left, devs on the right.
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Post by benquad on Jul 9, 2006 18:46:25 GMT -5
I WANNA BE BY THE DEVS!! ASHLEY IS HOT |
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Post by E on Jul 9, 2006 21:36:00 GMT -5
Welcome, Ashley. It's wonderful to have you. And your quote is by Lilla Watson, an Aboriginal Elder/social worker. All the best. |
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