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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2019 7:59:48 GMT -5
Normally im possessed of a slightly sarcastic but quick wit. However, the one thing that leaves me speechless is when people comment on my relationship with a pwd. Im so busy processing the thought of "did they actually say that out loud ?" i generally dont respond. So, lets hear some of your responses to the usual So, why are you with a disabled guy ? Or So, do you ever have sex ? or Are you his carer ? Etc etc etc. Pick a question and post a response. Hopefully then, next time i get asked, i can comeback with something good.
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Post by devogirl on Mar 10, 2019 9:10:39 GMT -5
I used to get this all the time! I would give a disarming smile and say "He's so fucking sexy." Usually that put people back and they didn't have any further reply. One one "friend" just stared at me and said "You're weird" but I didn't care what she thought of me.
Another good strategy for dealing with any unwanted, invasive, rude question is to just ask, "Why do you need to know that?" I haven't always had success with that, as some people are absolutely shameless. You can also look confused and say, "What an odd thing to say," which both lets them know they are being inappropriate and does not invite further conversation on that topic.
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Post by darthoso on Mar 10, 2019 9:17:32 GMT -5
Normally im possessed of a slightly sarcastic but quick wit. However, the one thing that leaves me speechless is when people comment on my relationship with a pwd. Im so busy processing the thought of "did they actually say that out loud ?" i generally dont respond. So, lets hear some of your responses to the usual So, why are you with a disabled guy ? Or So, do you ever have sex ? or Are you his carer ? Etc etc etc. Pick a question and post a response. Hopefully then, next time i get asked, i can comeback with something good. Oh I like this game. 1. I have a soft spot in my heart for cripples bastards and broken things. 2. More than you get I'm sure. 3. Shhh, don't tell anyone, the government might arrest me.
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Mar 10, 2019 9:22:49 GMT -5
This thread has me wondering what kind of harassment my ex-gfs might have had to endure while we were together.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2019 14:04:03 GMT -5
The reason i decided to post this today was a contact from an ex. An ex that was abusive and controlling, who thought he would message ( after several years ) to say he had heard i was with "a paralysed guy" quote......and obviously i wouldnt be getting any sex so he could call round if i liked !!!!! WTF no thanks, not in any single situation would that ever happen. I couldnt think of a response that would explain my total repulsion...so just deleted it. But it made me think of how many other people had also offered unwanted advuce or asked personal questions etc which they would never have done if i was in a "conventional" relationship.
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Post by britishtetra on Mar 10, 2019 18:07:54 GMT -5
If someone asks, Why do you like paralysed men? Just say when I’m on top and making love, he can’t roll me over and give me anal😉 bit crude, but to the point. How about, “When I’m pissed, he gives me a lift home on the pavement” “Umm you should see us during the sales, first in the queues, it’s bliss” “Have you ever dated a man who can only move his tongue, and prepared to put it anywhere” “He gets free viagra, it’s great when it’s hot and can keep the sheet off me sunburn” You know what they say, love a cripple and be rewarded in heaven”
Just tell the truth, he’s a nice guy, makes me happy and can’t chase me up the stairs to hit me. That’s if you had relationships like that. Pete
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Post by robbb on Mar 10, 2019 19:30:13 GMT -5
The most common thing that I get that bothers me is when I first mention “wheelchair,” or “paralyzed,” is the “😟 oh, I’m sorry” reaction. That one has always amazed me. As if you didn't mean to be with the guy. R.
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Post by propheticstature on Mar 10, 2019 22:04:50 GMT -5
If someone asks, Why do you like paralysed men? Just say when I’m on top and making love, he can’t roll me over and give me anal😉 bit crude, but to the point. “Have you ever dated a man who can only move his tongue, and prepared to put it anywhere” “He gets free viagra, it’s great when it’s hot and can keep the sheet off me sunburn” Just tell the truth, he’s a nice guy, makes me happy and can’t chase me up the stairs to hit me. That’s if you had relationships like that. Pete For #'s 1 and 2, haha holy shit... I'm gonna use those someday. As for #3: FREE VIAGRA IN THE UK OH MY GOD Even Medicare in the US doesn't think ED is a "quality of life" issue... and this is why we can't have nice things.
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Post by wonk on Mar 10, 2019 22:27:37 GMT -5
An ex once replied "because I'm a size Queen"
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Post by devogirl on Mar 11, 2019 6:22:36 GMT -5
The reason i decided to post this today was a contact from an ex. An ex that was abusive and controlling, who thought he would message ( after several years ) to say he had heard i was with "a paralysed guy" quote......and obviously i wouldnt be getting any sex so he could call round if i liked !!!!! WTF no thanks, not in any single situation would that ever happen. I couldnt think of a response that would explain my total repulsion...so just deleted it. But it made me think of how many other people had also offered unwanted advuce or asked personal questions etc which they would never have done if i was in a "conventional" relationship. Ugh, that sucks! I'm sorry. I used to get the same thing, not from an ex but from other guys I was friends with. For some reason the reveal that my boyfriend had a disability was like an invitation to them to come on to me. And it happened when I was dating a blind guy, so SCI wasn't even a factor.
Which reminds me, many people asked me how I had sex with my blind boyfriend. I would just stare at them like this was the stupidest question I had ever heard and say, "In the usual way...?" Like there was some other way for blind people? And isn't is really common to have sex with the lights off? The reply was usually a hasty, "Oh right."
I also got the "I'm sorry" response all the time. A lot of people pity PWDs and have no other way of thinking about them so that's their first reflex response. I would say, "Sorry for what?"
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Post by Mets on Mar 11, 2019 15:52:23 GMT -5
I can’t speak on behalf of the questions that devs get, but I can contribute comebacks for questions I’ve been asked:
Can you feel your legs? Yeah. I can feel yours too if you’d like
Can you have sex? I’m kinda busy right now but I’ll call you tonight
Oh my gosh that’s massive! Why is your penis so large? idk, it just is
Can you walk? No, but tomorrow you won’t be able to either
What happened to you? I jumped off of the roof to save a basket of puppies that were being attacked by the Grinch.
Wait really? No. I have SMA
What does SMA stand for? Send Me Anude
Why do you use a wheelchair? Because my insurance won’t pay for a miniature horse
Wait but for real, why do you have such a large, perfect looking penis? I have really good genes, in every aspect of life
Do you make up fake dialogue to amuse people on the internet? Nope
Really? You don’t? Of course not. This is totally a real conversation that actually happened
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Post by turbo234 on Mar 11, 2019 16:32:05 GMT -5
Ha! I gotta remember those @steve !
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2019 17:05:09 GMT -5
I can’t speak on behalf of the questions that devs get, but I can contribute comebacks for questions I’ve been asked: Can you feel your legs?Yeah. I can feel yours too if you’d like Can you have sex?I’m kinda busy right now but I’ll call you tonight Oh my gosh that’s massive! Why is your penis so large?idk, it just is Can you walk?No, but tomorrow you won’t be able to either What happened to you?I jumped off of the roof to save a basket of puppies that were being attacked by the Grinch. Wait really?No. I have SMA What does SMA stand for?Send Me Anude Why do you use a wheelchair?Because my insurance won’t pay for a miniature horse Wait but for real, why do you have such a large, perfect looking penis?I have really good genes, in every aspect of life Do you make up fake dialogue to amuse people on the internet?Nope Really? You don’t?Of course not. This totally a real conversation that actually happened Steve, you are a seriously funny guy. As soon as you pop up on a thread i know im going to be laughing out loud. Thanks for the suggestions, im going to adapt and use most of them 😊
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Post by turbo234 on Mar 11, 2019 17:59:11 GMT -5
In my Simpons comic guy voice … "Best comeback ever!"
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Post by turbo234 on Mar 11, 2019 18:01:09 GMT -5
Stupid computers, wanted to quote..
"Can you walk? No, but tomorrow you won’t be able to either"
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