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Post by zacc on Dec 11, 2019 11:27:28 GMT -5
I recently had a session with a Sex Surrogate/Sex Worker. It was an eye opening experience, especially with my limited experience, and pretty fun. I feel a lot more confident in my sexual abilities now and I have gained a very different understanding of sex with DMD, and sex in general. I now know what I can and can't accomplish with a partner.
I wondered if any PWDs have thought of doing this or had a similar experience, and if so what did you learn?
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Post by Nate on Dec 11, 2019 11:42:57 GMT -5
I briefly pursued hooking up with a sex surrogate about six years ago but basically flaked out on myself. I later met a sex worker who happened to have a sibling with CP; she was highly sensitive to my impairments and was amazing at helping me figure out which "activities" I'm able to engage in and which I'm not, along with what I enjoy and what I don't.
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Post by linda on Dec 11, 2019 11:55:50 GMT -5
You guys are so cool! (Apart from your good taste in movies, @zacc, and your fine abilities in poems and sandwich videos and quoting tutorial videos for stupid devs, Nate ) It is very brave of you to post this here, and I think this is absolutely the right thing to do. I wish you all luck in the world!!! Big hugs! ... and this is one reason why I so much love PD ...
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Post by Nate on Dec 11, 2019 12:10:18 GMT -5
linda thinks I have terrible taste in movies, evidently. Noted.
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Post by linda on Dec 11, 2019 12:16:11 GMT -5
linda thinks I have terrible taste in movies, evidently. Noted.
Noooooooooooo! How could I possibly think that??? The (almost) movie maker himself! 🤗
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Post by zacc on Dec 11, 2019 13:41:56 GMT -5
You guys are so cool! (Apart from your good taste in movies, @zacc, and your fine abilities in poems and sandwich videos and quoting tutorial videos for stupid devs, Nate ) It is very brave of you to post this here, and I think this is absolutely the right thing to do. I wish you all luck in the world!!! Big hugs! ... and this is one reason why I so much love PD ... Thanks linda! I do pride myself on my movie taste! And also I figured I’d be brave and post about because I think it’s an important thing for physically disabled people to be aware that they can and maybe should work with a sex worker at least once. But that’s just my opinion.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2019 15:04:32 GMT -5
This might be a bit of an overshare but whatever, I’m not shy. But if you have delicate sensibilities or would like my sexual function to remain a mystery, stop reading now. Sex with me is definitely a different experience. While erections do happen, it’s not very often. And when those stars do align, I don’t ejaculate. While I still enjoy it very much, that is not how I derive satisfaction. I know it sounds weird but I somehow feed off of my partner’s pleasure. I get a tangible sense of release when she does. In order for me to feel this, I have to actually care about her. I’ve had one night stands and they just don’t do anything for me. If I’m not “in tune” with my parter, it’s just busy work for me. All that is just my way of saying that I don’t think I’d enjoy being with a sexual surrogate or sex worker.
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Post by feelsunshine on Dec 11, 2019 15:19:41 GMT -5
I also think that it's great that you guys talk so open about that topic and even better if you had good experiences. As a dev, it never occurred to me to do a job like that. I think @mrniceguy 's description brings it to the point. I feel similar. I tried one night stands, but it's not what brings me pleasure. I am a sensitive person and I love feelings (for the heart). If I get intimate with a guy, I want not only the hardware involved, the software is way more important (bringing the comparision a bit to the IT level) ;-)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2019 17:06:53 GMT -5
I think the whole idea of sex surrogacy is a good one. It’s obviously not going to be suited to everyone, but if it’s something that you feel may have a positive effect on your confidence, ability or understanding of intimacy with your particular disability then go for it. Research carefully and only go ahead if you’re 100% comfortable with the person you meet. These days, dating is tough for everyone yet we all love to have a connection with another person. It’s not something we should be embarrassed by.
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Post by Nate on Dec 11, 2019 18:02:48 GMT -5
If I get intimate with a guy, I want not only the hardware involved, the software is way more important (bringing the comparision a bit to the IT level) ;-) Where does firmware fit in this analogy? Shareware? Malware??
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Post by feelsunshine on Dec 12, 2019 7:42:56 GMT -5
If I get intimate with a guy, I want not only the hardware involved, the software is way more important (bringing the comparision a bit to the IT level) ;-) Where does firmware fit in this analogy? Shareware? Malware?? Give me a bit of time, I’m sure there’s something I can come up with.
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Post by wonk on Dec 12, 2019 14:33:57 GMT -5
If I get intimate with a guy, I want not only the hardware involved, the software is way more important (bringing the comparision a bit to the IT level) ;-) Where does firmware fit in this analogy? Shareware? Malware?? Be careful not to get a virus
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Post by IcarusFellOnce on Dec 13, 2019 11:57:52 GMT -5
This might be a bit of an overshare but whatever, I’m not shy. But if you have delicate sensibilities or would like my sexual function to remain a mystery, stop reading now. Sex with me is definitely a different experience. While erections do happen, it’s not very often. And when those stars do align, I don’t ejaculate. While I still enjoy it very much, that is not how I derive satisfaction. I know it sounds weird but I somehow feed off of my partner’s pleasure. I get a tangible sense of release when she does. In order for me to feel this, I have to actually care about her. I’ve had one night stands and they just don’t do anything for me. If I’m not “in tune” with my parter, it’s just busy work for me. All that is just my way of saying that I don’t think I’d enjoy being with a sexual surrogate or sex worker. RELATE!!! minus the have to care about her to derive satisfaction part. Don't get me wrong... I have similar function and experience you do.. BUT it can still be satisfying and pleasurable with someone I'm not in love with.. THAT BEING SAID... it's always the best with someone you are crazy about. The past few years have shown me that. Great topic... great comments.
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wheelgeorgia
New Member
Posts: 21
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by wheelgeorgia on Dec 13, 2019 12:10:45 GMT -5
How would one find a surrogate vs sex worker in the US?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2019 12:27:43 GMT -5
This might be a bit of an overshare but whatever, I’m not shy. But if you have delicate sensibilities or would like my sexual function to remain a mystery, stop reading now. Sex with me is definitely a different experience. While erections do happen, it’s not very often. And when those stars do align, I don’t ejaculate. While I still enjoy it very much, that is not how I derive satisfaction. I know it sounds weird but I somehow feed off of my partner’s pleasure. I get a tangible sense of release when she does. In order for me to feel this, I have to actually care about her. I’ve had one night stands and they just don’t do anything for me. If I’m not “in tune” with my parter, it’s just busy work for me. All that is just my way of saying that I don’t think I’d enjoy being with a sexual surrogate or sex worker. RELATE!!! minus the have to care about her to derive satisfaction part. Don't get me wrong... I have similar function and experience you do.. BUT it can still be satisfying and pleasurable with someone I'm not in love with.. THAT BEING SAID... it's always the best with someone you are crazy about. The past few years have shown me that. Great topic... great comments. I definitely don't need to love her, but at least give a shit. lol It's actually part of why I'm so picky. If I don't think it's worth the effort, I'm not going to pursue it. Being a quad that needs help to transfer, get undressed, etc., I usually want to know the person before I let her "peek behind the curtain." That's not to say that I don't enjoy casual relationships because I most certainly do, but not just randoms.
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