Post by brinzerdecalli on Mar 16, 2020 2:41:14 GMT -5
I'm looking for a wonderful and amazing person [or maybe two pretty ok people] to ride out the apocalypse with me!
I have 6 gallons of water and a fridge full of frozen food, mostly chicken.
My bed is small but manageable for 2 skinny people including myself... maybe 3 if we make a pyramid of sleeping bodies...
I have a whole gigabit internet connection and a moderate knowledge of illegal streaming sites.
I will make up dumb and/or amazing songs all day until you smother me with a pillow.
I have 4 pillows suit for smothering or sleeping.
Will be giving a monthly allowance of $1.00 - $25,000.00 USD, based on several factors, to the selected companion. Please note: allowance will stop shortly after you smother me to death.
If interested please fill out the following application:
Including a photo is optional but will increase chances of being selected.
Do you have a penis? [If yes, your application will be discarded, but you are welcome to continue filling it out anyhow]
Are you currently sick with COVID-19 or anything else extremely contagious?
Are you a gorgon, harpy, succubus, muse, or any other mythological being? If so what?
How will you get to Philadelphia, PA? When is the earliest I could expect you, as of being notified you were selected?
What time is it?
What would you suggest to occupy time if I am like really bored?
What talents do you have? Why would I appreciate having someone here with those talents?
Can you pick up 80lbs?
What time is it now?
What is your favorite board and/or videogame?
Are you a nurse?
Are there any other selling points to spending just way too much time with you that you would like to elaborate on?
Thanks for sending in your application, and I look forward to watching the world become an isolated void of chaos and detachment with you soon!
I have 6 gallons of water and a fridge full of frozen food, mostly chicken.
My bed is small but manageable for 2 skinny people including myself... maybe 3 if we make a pyramid of sleeping bodies...
I have a whole gigabit internet connection and a moderate knowledge of illegal streaming sites.
I will make up dumb and/or amazing songs all day until you smother me with a pillow.
I have 4 pillows suit for smothering or sleeping.
Will be giving a monthly allowance of $1.00 - $25,000.00 USD, based on several factors, to the selected companion. Please note: allowance will stop shortly after you smother me to death.
If interested please fill out the following application:
Including a photo is optional but will increase chances of being selected.
Do you have a penis? [If yes, your application will be discarded, but you are welcome to continue filling it out anyhow]
Are you currently sick with COVID-19 or anything else extremely contagious?
Are you a gorgon, harpy, succubus, muse, or any other mythological being? If so what?
How will you get to Philadelphia, PA? When is the earliest I could expect you, as of being notified you were selected?
What time is it?
What would you suggest to occupy time if I am like really bored?
What talents do you have? Why would I appreciate having someone here with those talents?
Can you pick up 80lbs?
What time is it now?
What is your favorite board and/or videogame?
Are you a nurse?
Are there any other selling points to spending just way too much time with you that you would like to elaborate on?
Thanks for sending in your application, and I look forward to watching the world become an isolated void of chaos and detachment with you soon!
