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Post by Amee on May 17, 2020 2:58:48 GMT -5
It's sad that dude can't feel ok enough with himself and his body, to a degree that it is an alien or repulsing thought that someone gets excited by the guy. I don't know know him, I don't pretend to what he thinks or how he feels, but it sucks that he feels that way. We do have problems. Dude's got a long way with his self-image and his sexuality. Obviously it's been extra challenging for the dude. I'm always a bit careful to jump from someone having a negative opinion about devs to "you're just not okay with your disability". It may very well be the case. It may be the case that he's so used to society telling him that his disabled body is unattractive and undesirable that the idea of someone finding it attractive seems wrong to him. It may be an unconscious thing he's not even aware himself. But it's also possible that he really has such a warped idea of what a dev is that it's only natural (and healthy) he would dislike that. The women, who dislike devs because they've had negative experiences? They don't dislike devs because they're not ok with their body. They dislike devs because everything they've learned about devs is bad behaviour. And I think that's how most PWDs learn about devs. Sure, that's going to be some good PR for you guys, but it's not going to do an awful lot of good for us. There are many public PWDs and public PWD/AB couples out there in the Interwebs talking about disability in a positive way and disability in the context of dating. Do you know how many of those partners of PWDs have outed themselves as devs? Zero. (At least I'm not aware of any, please correct me if I'm wrong.) Do you know how many of them have made a point at specifically clarifying that they or their partners are not devs? Many. " She doesn't like me for my disability, she likes me for me." Did you know that quite a few of the romance novels featuring male PWDs specifically mention that the woman falling for the PWD is not one of those people? I'm afraid our PR causes aren't as connected as you think they are (and yours is also in much, much better shape than ours is). Sure, there's some overlap, but it's also worth remembering that most dev negativitiy comes from PWDs. So, is it worth bothering? Yes, I think it is. For all the baby devs growing up right now. As lisa said, it's already better than it was when I first searched the Internet twelve years ago. But I'm grateful to every single dev or PWD who puts something more positive about us out there. Not because I care about what people on the Internet think about me. But I care about the next baby dev, who searches the Internet trying to figure herself out. So maybe I really will shoot a little Email to the editors about that article
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Post by Amee on Jun 7, 2020 10:08:42 GMT -5
Just a quick follow-up: I tried to send an Email to the editor, but the Email-address apparently doesn't exist anymore.
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Post by mona on Jun 7, 2020 12:01:42 GMT -5
Just a quick follow-up: I tried to send an Email to the editor, but the Email-address apparently doesn't exist anymore. Thanks a lot for trying. 🌸 I know you have a lot on your plate right now.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 12:54:26 GMT -5
Thanks Amee you are so sweet and I literally just saw this post from you above...you always are spot on with what you write 💕
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Post by happyface2013 on Jun 7, 2020 15:02:45 GMT -5
Interesting article. I'd say his opinion of devs would change if he knew any.
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KingRichard
Full Member
Posts: 200
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by KingRichard on Jun 18, 2020 10:03:43 GMT -5
Well I can only speak about my own experience about finding out what a devotee is about over a year ago when I did find out what a devotee is it did leave a bad taste in my mouth but over time I got to thinking about devotees and I was thinking why is it okay for someone to like a person who is a red head or a blonde woman but it's not okay to like someone who has disabilities so I looked in about devotees again and even that there was bad experiences with people who went out with devotees there was also people who had good experience with devotees so I am willing to see for myself if I have a good experiences with devotee or a bad experience with a devotee I think people forget that you don't even need to be a devotee or a disabled to have bad experience with someone I mean all you need do to is look on youtube to find out that there are a lot of crazy people out their
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gin
Junior Member
'Then I knew that our love was just a car crash away' ~Marilyn
Posts: 52
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by gin on Jun 24, 2020 19:32:18 GMT -5
That opinion piece is pure click bate for Vice. More time and thought was put into creating that article illustration then was spent writing the article. ^This. But I guess that implies they wouldn't hesitate to publish another article about that topic, from a different perspective perhaps. To be honest, I don't think it's worth writing a comment about such an old article (because that's just not how the internet and their business works), nobody would care... Yet, there's an article entitled "I Have Cerebral Palsy. This Is How I Have Sex" published in January. What about something along the lines of "I am a Devotee and these are my Views on Disability and Sex"? Share your thoughts, put them together in a "self-interview"-kinda fashion, and send it to their office. Worst that can happen, is they reject it. There's many educated people around here, being fluent in English, who could write something like that easily. The original "opinion piece" itself is of rather poor quality, regarding any kind of eloquence. And Vice really only cares about "edgy" stories, so if they receive something that adds up to their "portfolio" and will generate some views, after the illustrator comes up with a crazy eyecatcher, why not? "A fair exchange is no robbery." – they'd make some money off it, and there would be another article that pops up whenever someone asks Google about that topic.
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Post by devogirl on Jun 24, 2020 19:57:59 GMT -5
What about something along the lines of "I am a Devotee and these are my Views on Disability and Sex"? OMG that's fucking brilliant, why didn't I think of that? You're absolutely right, that is way more effective than a reply which will be ignored. It doesn't have to be just one person either. Nothing wrong with more than one submission. Come on devs, get writing!
And guys could write too. "I have a disability and here's why I love devotees." Clickbait for a good cause!
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Post by cilantro on Jun 24, 2020 20:06:17 GMT -5
What about something along the lines of "I am a Devotee and these are my Views on Disability and Sex"? OMG that's fucking brilliant, why didn't I think of that? You're absolutely right, that is way more effective than a reply which will be ignored. It doesn't have to be just one person either. Nothing wrong with more than one submission. Come on devs, get writing!
And guys could write too. "I have a disability and here's why I love devotees." Clickbait for a good cause!
I love this call to action! Like, can everyone just flood Vice and completely turn the opinions of Devs around? REVOLUTION
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Post by devogirl on Jun 24, 2020 20:17:12 GMT -5
Send pitches for US edition to:
culture.pitches@vice.com lifestyle.pitches@vice.com issues.pitches@vice.com
I'm not sure which one the "Sex" section falls under, but there is a writer named Mark Hay who regularly publishes Vice articles on sex and disability or illness, including interviews. I can't find email for him but his Twitter is @goraladka.
Pitches for UK edition: ukeditorialpitches@vice.com
Pitches for articles in German: themen@vice.com
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Post by midwestguy on Jun 24, 2020 20:18:32 GMT -5
Excellent idea gin cheers
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Post by Amee on Jun 25, 2020 11:20:52 GMT -5
I'm loving this!! I'd be totally up for writing something and sending them a pitch. My only concern is whether they'd be willing to keep the author anonymous. I would not be okay with my real name popping up in connection with this. Maybe we could even do a collaboration? Combine some experiences and perspectives? That might make more sense than sending them multiple individual pitches? I'm not sure how these things work, though. Or we could at least peer review it? (I at least would be grateful for some competent beta readers before actually sending something to them.)
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Post by devogirl on Jun 26, 2020 2:41:49 GMT -5
I'd say keep it short and to the point. Most of the articles they run are short. I think a short article from one person's perspective is more in line with what they usually publish, not something longer from multiple perspectives. You don't have to use your real name, just make up a pen name. If you're really worried, just make sure the email account you use to contact them doesn't contain your real name.
I really think they will be more interested in a single author essay than a collaboration, but I'm happy to beta read anything. Just send me a PM.
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Post by midwestguy on Jul 3, 2020 13:24:22 GMT -5
I just discovered a brand new podcast created by HuffPost called D Is For Desire. If any devs would be interested in submitting to be a guest I'd be willing to go on as the PWD. (I'm guessing we could keep our anonymity from the listeners) www.huffpost.com/entry/d-is-for-desire-love-sex-podcast_n_5ee8f503c5b6064d705c8baaHere is the description: Each week host Noah Michelson explores all kinds of sticky questions about love and sex and relationships that might be lurking in your head, your heart or your pants, exploring angles you could have never imagined in health class. He speaks with real people, as well as experts, who share their incredibly personal stories in the hope of offering new ways of approaching, thinking about and experiencing desire and all that comes with it. Have a question or a comment about the show or a story you think might make a good episode? Send us an email at desire@huffpost.com
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Post by cilantro on Jul 11, 2020 19:54:13 GMT -5
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