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Post by rebeckers84 on Jan 5, 2021 11:52:51 GMT -5
Well... here we go again!! I’ve been looking over the WAGS site recently for a few things and I listened to a couple of their podcasts. In one of the episodes they talked about a guy who had been creeping around their pages asking for pee and stupid crap and then they went on a little tangent about devotees, of course nothing good 🤦🏻♀️ So I felt the need to write them and give them another, and more appropriate, perspective. We’ve had some nice conversation and they’ve asked me to come on the podcast.
I’m starting to feel like I should just make the rounds to any disability podcast 🤣 ok that’s a little extreme but I’m sure you know what I mean.
Is it crazy that I’m more terrified of this one than when I did wheels2walking?? W2W has such a bigger audience but I just feel like the WAGS audience is way more geared towards women and women can be so nasty and judgy towards each other!! Whatever right!?!
Just gonna go on and do my thing again and whatever happens, happens!
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Post by Slinxter on Jan 5, 2021 12:13:02 GMT -5
I completely support this! You did a great job on W2W. Your down-to-earth, friendly, calm, funny, unthreatening nature I think makes you a great ambassador!
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Post by rebeckers84 on Jan 5, 2021 13:51:26 GMT -5
I completely support this! You did a great job on W2W. Your down-to-earth, friendly, calm, funny, unthreatening nature I think makes you a great ambassador! Aw well thanks! The response last time was pretty overwhelming and 99% positive. I got some feedback privately from a few devs on here with some criticism so hopefully I can take that into this next one and make it better. It’s just a little nerve wracking you get on a mic/camera whatever and forget so much or misspeak something when you don’t really mean to! |
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Post by shadow on Jan 5, 2021 14:42:15 GMT -5
Wow, you're very brave! I agree that you’ll do a great job representing. I was once a member but it’s the opposite kind of place for devs IMO, as it seems they’re more geared to the caregiving and support side of things rather than the “relationship” itself. I didn’t know they had a podcast. I’ll be very interested hearing their take on devs, but non-dev women dating sci guys might be a tough audience I have to be honest. I’ve had friends that are WAGS and I’m just not sure they’d get the dev perspective of things, but I was always too chicken to discuss it. Good luck, I can’t wait to hear it!
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Post by Amee on Jan 5, 2021 16:48:47 GMT -5
I completely support this! You did a great job on W2W. Your down-to-earth, friendly, calm, funny, unthreatening nature I think makes you a great ambassador! Aw well thanks! The response last time was pretty overwhelming and 99% positive. I got some feedback privately from a few devs on here with some criticism so hopefully I can take that into this next one and make it better. It’s just a little nerve wracking you get on a mic/camera whatever and forget so much or misspeak something when you don’t really mean to! You did an absolutely fantastic job last time, you were relaxed and lovely and funny and just made it seem super-normal. It's not your job to represent each and every one of us. We all know how different we are as devs, let alone as humans. Not every dev will identify with or agree with absolutely everything you say. But that's fine, because in the end, you can only speak for yourself. The fact that there are so few who are as brave as you doesn't make you responsible for representing all of us. And of course you're not able to carefully consider every word you say during a full-length podcast!  If you can take something valuable away from the criticism some have shared with you, then great. But if it just puts pressure on you, please don't worry too much about it! You really did an amazing job and I think just being the natural, relaxed You is the best way to go I for one can't wait to hear another podcast with you! |
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Post by Slinxter on Jan 5, 2021 17:53:03 GMT -5
This this this! Well said Amee! |
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messybun
New Member
Posts: 40
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by messybun on Jan 5, 2021 18:43:31 GMT -5
I had to look up what WAGS is...I saw your other podcast rebeckers84 and I found it wonderful. You are very brave to try to shed a light on what devotees are and I think you did a great job with the first podcast even though I wish the guys would have let you talk more.
I would be very nervous to try to explain devotees to this WAGS group but if you have the courage, I hope it will be a good thing. The way some people think about devotees can be very painful and really hurt. It is also a reason so many devotees stay in the shadows.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2021 18:58:25 GMT -5
You were really eloquent on the wheels to walking podcast but I agree that a wags one will probably be much more difficult. I imagine they will already have a negative view of how most people treat their husbands/boyfriends and will just add that to the negativity about devs fetishisation etc. Saying that, I’m still 100% sure that you will come across friendly, educated and reasonable so don’t worry. Just be yourself x
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Post by devogirl on Jan 5, 2021 21:03:19 GMT -5
You are very brave for doing this! Thank you so much for your advocacy. You're right that women can be so mean. Also keep in mind that a lot of the nastiness from these women comes from defensiveness. Some of them REALLY don't want to be lumped in with devs, even though a more inclusive attitude helps all of us. But also a few of them are very likely closeted devs. Just like how some of the most rabid anti-gay politicians and preachers are sometimes closeted gay men. Not that you should accuse anyone, but just keep it in the back of your mind.
Many years ago, before this board had membership rules, a woman with a para husband joined and posted a lot of angry, hateful things about devs. I found out years later that she was actually a closeted dev herself and smearing us was her attempt to hide that fact from her para husband.
Just stay positive and be strong, and if things do get ugly, remember it's usually not about you but something in the person themselves.
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Post by blueskye101 on Jan 6, 2021 2:45:35 GMT -5
I would also think some of these women are devs but not sure if any would be open about it. Is it just audio. That might be easier than face to face video. If you do it, thanks to you for being such a great and courageous advocate for us.
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Post by devogirl on Jan 6, 2021 3:44:07 GMT -5
I think a lot of podcasts lately record over Zoom so you might be face to face with the hosts even though the finished product is audio only.
I find the best strategy when you get an insulting or unfair question is to turn it around on the questioner: "That's so interesting--why do you ask that?" Try to get at the assumptions that underlay the question and don't let them kink shame you. We don't choose to be devs, and no one can thought police us. Telling someone their kink is wrong never makes the kink go away. But we can choose how we behave, and choose to be respectful.
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Post by rebeckers84 on Jan 6, 2021 9:01:37 GMT -5
You ladies always have such wonderful advice and it is much appreciated.
We have a date set to record in March so plenty of time to second guess myself over and over and over. Haha
We’ve had some good discussion and I don’t think they will turn things nasty on me but I think I’m prepared either way.
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Post by Celaena on Jan 6, 2021 20:22:39 GMT -5
I am really looking forward to hearing the podcast!
I started following them on instagram recently and found myself wondering how many of them might be devs based on some of the intro posts. Seeing their posts and some of the individuals they are connected to has been an interesting rabbit hole to tumble down and think about from a #representationmatters and advocacy perspective.
I've never been very into podcasts, but they definitely have a bunch of interesting topics (and I was hoping to use insight for some of the novels I'm writing).
You will do a GREAT job representing devs and don't feel too much pressure that you are the lone voice of devs everywhere... Just as it is with anything else, you have your own experiences and thoughts and that can never encompass a collective whole. Focus on presenting yourself as a dev and your own perspective! We are all here for it!
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Celeste
Full Member
Posts: 126
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Celeste on Jan 31, 2021 20:42:55 GMT -5
I can't wait to listen to the podcast. Thank you for being a great representative for us! WAGS are definitely more intimidating, but I think you will do great.  |
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em
Full Member
Posts: 111
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Feb 19, 2021 12:38:07 GMT -5
Just listened to the W2W podcast, you did so well and it's so impressive that you even did it! I don't know what WAGS is, but I think it is really great that you are able to get the information out there and dispel some myths. You just gotta stand your frown and know when you are in the right to say what you believe in or feel, no matter what the reaction may be.
By the way I started wondering what was the reaction of your friends, family etc. to this podcast? Did anyone see it, did they try to talk to you about it?
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