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Post by happyface2013 on Apr 18, 2021 15:03:15 GMT -5
Hi everybody, hope you are all doing well.
You can now read my latest short story titled "A Covid Romance" at the link below -
Feedback always appreciated.
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em
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Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Apr 19, 2021 3:44:02 GMT -5
Serena is not a very Polish name  But the story looks good and I like the Irish and European touch, will read it in full  |
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Post by happyface2013 on Apr 19, 2021 10:52:54 GMT -5
Serena is not a very Polish name But the story looks good and I like the Irish and European touch, will read it in full Yeah maybe. Any suggestions? |
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em
Full Member
Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Apr 19, 2021 14:27:48 GMT -5
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Post by happyface2013 on Apr 20, 2021 13:42:09 GMT -5
Thanks, changed the name to Natalia. It is a composite of different women I know. Hope you enjoyed it. |
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messybun
New Member
Posts: 40
Gender: Female
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Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by messybun on Apr 21, 2021 12:22:50 GMT -5
I read it and I like the story idea. It's a nice twist on the pandemic. I was slightly confused when in the last part, the writing suddenly changed to first person from Natalia's POV.
It also ended very quickly. I think it could be longer and more descriptive. But...sex scenes are difficult to write.
It's definitely a great story idea with lots of potential.
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Post by happyface2013 on Apr 21, 2021 13:21:36 GMT -5
I read it and I like the story idea. It's a nice twist on the pandemic. I was slightly confused when in the last part, the writing suddenly changed to first person from Natalia's POV. It also ended very quickly. I think it could be longer and more descriptive. But...sex scenes are difficult to write. It's definitely a great story idea with lots of potential. Yes, it was a quick change of POV. But when I changed it back to third person, it seemed to lose something. I might go back and make it a bit longer at the weekend. Thanks for your comment. |
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Apr 22, 2021 17:56:43 GMT -5
Wowww my man!! I'd say that even with a few minor mistakes, and the POV needing some adjustment, this is a good start. Plus, it's sexy as hell.  |
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Post by happyface2013 on Apr 23, 2021 3:37:53 GMT -5
Wowww my man!! I'd say that even with a few minor mistakes, and the POV needing some adjustment, this is a good start. Plus, it's sexy as hell. Thanks, much appreciated. Have made some modifications and made the sex scene a bit longer. |
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But the story looks good and I like the Irish and European touch, will read it in full 
