em
Full Member
Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Jul 13, 2021 18:11:06 GMT -5
I had to login and comment on this one, because it’s a side to my devness I’ve wondered about for years. I’m definitely, 100% heterosexual. Only ever dated men. Only ever wanted to date men. Para men exclusively, since I ‘came out’ of the dev closet. I’ve always refuted the fact my devness is a fetish, because in terms of my attraction to disabled men, it would be pushing it to say even 10% of my attraction to them is sexual. It’s all about the lifestyle, the everyday stuff. Immersing myself in that life. I love it. But what is my sexual fantasy? Amputee women. Specifically arm amps. Very, very rarely men. I have no interest in pursuing this in reality. It’s a pure sexual fantasy, that’s all. Two polar opposites of attraction, each having a very defined space in my dev make up - and with no real crossover. Why?? I have no idea. I’d love to know the answer! Does anyone else have similar attractions? Thanks for your reply, this is really interesting! I think it's similar for me, I mean there is a crossover so I have fantasies about both but in real life I'm not attracted to women, hence my confusion and this thread. But your post reassured me, I think we are just wired in a more complicated way than some people so we have some less typical preferences I guess. Not sure if there is even any deeper meaning to it tbh Also it's interesting that for you it's a different disability for men and women. I think I mostly focus on the same ones so the women in my fantasies are not very different from the men actually. Do you think this has anything to do with your own body perception or sth (don't worry if not or if you don't want to go there I'm just throwing around some speculations) |
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Post by myrrh on Jul 13, 2021 21:27:36 GMT -5
I think I react a lot to exposure here, never ever thought about that - I might not be that picky after all! This gives hope, hahah. However, I also research a lot and am quite interested in the medical side. I'm just still losing my weird sort of developmental asexuality I had for my teens? No idea what's up with that, and I find myself more and more into the looks of those disabilities too. Also how PWDs move their body differently, an example apart from obviously amputees would be blind people using the sense of touch differently and more, has always been a huge, huge thing for me and really fascinates me. So it's definitely not only the emotional development for me! Damn, that was quite the exploration of my devness, learnt a thing or two about myself pretty quickly here. ^^" I actually relate to that first bit a lot- attractions to CP and blindness were very dominant in my devness for a long time, and they can both be traced back to a specific exposure. Both are relatively common, so for a long time I thought that was my primary interest, but looking back now I feel like that was more confirmation bias. (On that note, I relate to what you say about being fascinated by PWDs moving differently; I can watch videos of folks with CP all day, but a photo does absolutely nothing for me.) Now I'm in a relationship with a person who has a lot of morphological differences and cannot imagine being any more attracted to someone. Now that I'm thinking about it in this way, I can actually recall seeing someone very unique when I was a teen and thinking they were the hottest people alive (the conjoined Hensel twins). So, my attraction to unique body structure was always in there somewhere, but I think that sort of thing just wasn't common enough for me to really grasp how I felt about it. Going through phases is normal for anyone, why should we be any different? I actually really enjoy and appreciate how my devness has changed over time. Discovering devness also helped me break a thick teenage asexual shell. Actually I feel like that topic has come up here before, I wonder how many of these ladies have felt similarly. It's awesome that you're learning about yourself, I love it! Out of curiosity, what was the anime with the hand amp? Also, Inkdevil , you win this month's award for Most Complicated Dev Yarn. I have no idea what to say except 'wow.' |
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bluefox
Junior Member
Posts: 61
Gender: Non-binary
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by bluefox on Jul 14, 2021 8:59:56 GMT -5
Out of curiosity, for sure - just admit you want to watch it now 😂 it was Nagito from Danganronpa 3 actually, but you only briefly see him with his prosthetic on in like 2 episodes, sadly. It's a really tangled story- and timeline and the part of it he plays a major role he still has his hand. There's another game from the franchise where he doesn't, but the fact is hidden. I haven't played the game yet, I imagine it might appeal to the hand paralysis devo in me - but other than that, fanart.
Other than that, the character that appealed to my devness for that kind of limp I mentioned is a hand amputee as well as the leg (same side), so if that's something you're into, that was Junkrat from Overwatch. (Again you get the best depiction from fanart)
Now with the asexuality shell, you got me surprised. I thought that'd be a weird me-thing for sure. If it keeps coming up, maybe this deserves a thread! /o/ I'd really be curious there, too.
This is all a bit rushed here and I'm sorry it got long and blocky again. I'd love talking about what I've left out a little, idk, but preferably not in public, would you mind if maybe I shoot you a pm later? 👀
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Post by ContingentlyComposite on Jul 14, 2021 9:53:13 GMT -5
bluefox and myrrh I too was kind of asexual as a teen. I mean I have never really thought about it in terms of asexuality, but maybe the term fits. I sometimes had crushes on guys and had boyfriends in high school, but I had zero interest in actually having sex. Even making out was often just really weird and/or boring to me. I didn't become interested in sex until I actually *had* sex, which was in my late early 20's. And I only had sex that first time, if I'm being honest, because my boyfriend at the time was losing patience and because I felt like I was getting too old to be a virgin. I used to think it was that I was just romantic and wanted to wait for the right guy and that I was pretty self-conscious about my body. Then later I thought it might have had to do with a near-rape incident that happened when I was 13 that maybe I was low key afraid of men getting really sexually "riled up" with me. Then still later I thought it wasn't really any of those things, or maybe all of them a little bit, but that really it's just normal for a lot of teen girls to just not feel interested in/ready for sex until they're older. Sex is scary and weird, and can be an acquired taste. And I feel like I see this no/low interest in sex with a lot of teen girls actually. Teens are always represented in t.v. and film as raging balls of sexual desire and that's just not the case for a lot of teens even if it's true of many. But who knows, maybe it was connected to being a dev. After high school I discovered my dev sexual desires but the sexual desire just didn't really translate to AB men for me until I had sex some years later.
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Kahanah
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by Kahanah on Jul 22, 2021 9:32:20 GMT -5
I’m definitely bi, but wouldn’t date a woman bc of high maintenance
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em
Full Member
Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Jul 23, 2021 14:16:39 GMT -5
I’m definitely bi, but wouldn’t date a woman bc of high maintenance That's probably a good reason actually, but don't you feel for men who date us? Do you think you are high maintanence?  And are you attracted to women with disabilities as well, or your devness doesn't come in there? |
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Kahanah
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by Kahanah on Jul 23, 2021 20:18:33 GMT -5
I’m definitely bi, but wouldn’t date a woman bc of high maintenance That's probably a good reason actually, but don't you feel for men who date us? Do you think you are high maintanence? And are you attracted to women with disabilities as well, or your devness doesn't come in there? I am very high maintenance but I was making good money before I met my SO, and he is okay with it. I had an AB girlfriend before, and she was (and is!) a stunner, but when she wanted new model BMW I realized I just can't make it all happen for her. Reality is, it has to be two income household for me. Money are important when it comes to long term planning. And no, I don't feel bad for men. I had to work twice as hard in male dominated industry for the same amount of money. It's definitely easier for men to start making big $$$. I am attracted to a specific type of women. PWD or AB... She has to be tall, skinny blonde. And if she is into me... I lose my mind. (Funny thing that my perfect female partner resembles me of myself). Women are expensive.. and PWD women.. just out of my budget |
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em
Full Member
Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Jul 24, 2021 17:17:54 GMT -5
That's probably a good reason actually, but don't you feel for men who date us? Do you think you are high maintanence? And are you attracted to women with disabilities as well, or your devness doesn't come in there? I am very high maintenance but I was making good money before I met my SO, and he is okay with it. I had an AB girlfriend before, and she was (and is!) a stunner, but when she wanted new model BMW I realized I just can't make it all happen for her. Reality is, it has to be two income household for me. Money are important when it comes to long term planning. And no, I don't feel bad for men. I had to work twice as hard in male dominated industry for the same amount of money. It's definitely easier for men to start making big $$$. I am attracted to a specific type of women. PWD or AB... She has to be tall, skinny blonde. And if she is into me... I lose my mind. (Funny thing that my perfect female partner resembles me of myself). Women are expensive.. and PWD women.. just out of my budget Wow , that's extremely high maintenance! I don't think every woman is like that though, I think among my friends couples are mostly living in equal partnerships where they split their expenses and responsibilities. Depends on your situation though. Thanks for your answers anyway! |
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Post by Inkdevil on Aug 3, 2021 17:38:55 GMT -5
I had to login and comment on this one, because it’s a side to my devness I’ve wondered about for years. I’m definitely, 100% heterosexual. Only ever dated men. Only ever wanted to date men. Para men exclusively, since I ‘came out’ of the dev closet. I’ve always refuted the fact my devness is a fetish, because in terms of my attraction to disabled men, it would be pushing it to say even 10% of my attraction to them is sexual. It’s all about the lifestyle, the everyday stuff. Immersing myself in that life. I love it. But what is my sexual fantasy? Amputee women. Specifically arm amps. Very, very rarely men. I have no interest in pursuing this in reality. It’s a pure sexual fantasy, that’s all. Two polar opposites of attraction, each having a very defined space in my dev make up - and with no real crossover. Why?? I have no idea. I’d love to know the answer! Does anyone else have similar attractions? Thanks for your reply, this is really interesting! I think it's similar for me, I mean there is a crossover so I have fantasies about both but in real life I'm not attracted to women, hence my confusion and this thread. But your post reassured me, I think we are just wired in a more complicated way than some people so we have some less typical preferences I guess. Not sure if there is even any deeper meaning to it tbh Also it's interesting that for you it's a different disability for men and women. I think I mostly focus on the same ones so the women in my fantasies are not very different from the men actually. Do you think this has anything to do with your own body perception or sth (don't worry if not or if you don't want to go there I'm just throwing around some speculations) What is sth? Sorry, I have no clue! I’m not sure how my attractions tie in with my own body perception either. I’m not saying this in a dismissive way - I find these discussions fascinating, I just don’t understand how what I’m attracted to is affected by my self image. If that’s indeed what you meant? Could you elaborate further so I understand better. I’m a bit slow on these kind of things. |
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Post by Inkdevil on Aug 3, 2021 17:42:09 GMT -5
[quote author=" myrrh" source="/post/213938/thread"Also, Inkdevil , you win this month's award for Most Complicated Dev Yarn. I have no idea what to say except 'wow.' [/quote] Shit…I had no idea I was so complicated! No wonder all my friends live in my phone. *Sorry, I’ve not quoted you properly and have no idea how to fix it. |
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em
Full Member
Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Aug 5, 2021 13:10:44 GMT -5
Thanks for your reply, this is really interesting! I think it's similar for me, I mean there is a crossover so I have fantasies about both but in real life I'm not attracted to women, hence my confusion and this thread. But your post reassured me, I think we are just wired in a more complicated way than some people so we have some less typical preferences I guess. Not sure if there is even any deeper meaning to it tbh Also it's interesting that for you it's a different disability for men and women. I think I mostly focus on the same ones so the women in my fantasies are not very different from the men actually. Do you think this has anything to do with your own body perception or sth (don't worry if not or if you don't want to go there I'm just throwing around some speculations) What is sth? Sorry, I have no clue! I’m not sure how my attractions tie in with my own body perception either. I’m not saying this in a dismissive way - I find these discussions fascinating, I just don’t understand how what I’m attracted to is affected by my self image. If that’s indeed what you meant? Could you elaborate further so I understand better. I’m a bit slow on these kind of things. "Sth" is short for "something", sorry I tend to type too fast Yeah that's fine, of course it's quite complicated! I meant that maybe you ever thought if you being disabled in some way would be satisfying (even if you don't actually want that to happen in real life) and would maybe scratch your dev itch in a way that a disabled partner might? |
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Post by feelsunshine on Aug 5, 2021 14:34:07 GMT -5
This may be a weird question, I know we are all here as devs (female and some male) attracted to men with disabilities. I am also attracted to men, and have a male partner. However, I was wondering if any of you ever find yourselves fantasising/making up stories about/noticing on the streets - women with disabilities? For example, would you read a story where there is a man and a woman, but the woman is the one with your preferred disability? I feel that it's a bit like the pretending many of us admitted to in our childhood. I have a female body and so any pretending I did would be of a female with a disability. In my fantasies it doesn't actually matter who is the one with a disability, in stories other people write it's a bit different because the dynamics might be different, but I still may be interested. I was wondering in general what your thoughts are on this and whether I'm the only one without this kind of preference? I am 100% straight regarding relationships and dating. I’m into paraplegics using a manual wheelchair. I would not want to date women nor would I actually want to read stories or see movies where the female character is disabled. Only in fantasies there are two scenarios that I’m more interested in women than in men. |
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em
Full Member
Posts: 110
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by em on Aug 6, 2021 7:55:53 GMT -5
This may be a weird question, I know we are all here as devs (female and some male) attracted to men with disabilities. I am also attracted to men, and have a male partner. However, I was wondering if any of you ever find yourselves fantasising/making up stories about/noticing on the streets - women with disabilities? For example, would you read a story where there is a man and a woman, but the woman is the one with your preferred disability? I feel that it's a bit like the pretending many of us admitted to in our childhood. I have a female body and so any pretending I did would be of a female with a disability. In my fantasies it doesn't actually matter who is the one with a disability, in stories other people write it's a bit different because the dynamics might be different, but I still may be interested. I was wondering in general what your thoughts are on this and whether I'm the only one without this kind of preference? I am 100% straight regarding relationships and dating. I’m into paraplegics using a manual wheelchair. I would not want to date women nor would I actually want to read stories or see movies where the female character is disabled. Only in fantasies there are two scenarios that I’m more interested in women than in men. Interesting that there are exceptions to the rule, would you mind sharing some details of these, is it about the same disability as your male preferences? |
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Post by Inkdevil on Aug 6, 2021 18:39:16 GMT -5
What is sth? Sorry, I have no clue! I’m not sure how my attractions tie in with my own body perception either. I’m not saying this in a dismissive way - I find these discussions fascinating, I just don’t understand how what I’m attracted to is affected by my self image. If that’s indeed what you meant? Could you elaborate further so I understand better. I’m a bit slow on these kind of things. "Sth" is short for "something", sorry I tend to type too fast Yeah that's fine, of course it's quite complicated! I meant that maybe you ever thought if you being disabled in some way would be satisfying (even if you don't actually want that to happen in real life) and would maybe scratch your dev itch in a way that a disabled partner might? This is something I’ve thought about previously and not really come to a firm conclusion on. Because I’ve dated wheelers, I’ve had the chance to try out their wheelchairs first hand. I don’t like it. I feel really uncomfortable (as in, ‘I feel like a faker’ uncomfortable) sitting in one. So I think I prefer living the life, but with a PWD, not as one. It doesn’t stop me wanting to know what it feels like to be paralysed though. But just for a very short while. I want to know everything, but that’s the one thing nobody can ever explain to me. So I don’t think pretending too be a para would scratch my itch. But I’m not 100% sure. Perhaps I’d get my itch scratched better by imagining I was an amp? After all, that’s where my sexual interest lies, not wheelers. |
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Post by feelsunshine on Aug 6, 2021 19:57:17 GMT -5
I am 100% straight regarding relationships and dating. I’m into paraplegics using a manual wheelchair. I would not want to date women nor would I actually want to read stories or see movies where the female character is disabled. Only in fantasies there are two scenarios that I’m more interested in women than in men. Interesting that there are exceptions to the rule, would you mind sharing some details of these, is it about the same disability as your male preferences? It has interestingly nothing to do with disability. |
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