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Post by Pony on Nov 12, 2006 15:06:36 GMT -5
What I’m Losing
By
Anthony Rain Starez
At some point in time, I’m sure some wise soul once said the words ‘losing doesn’t make a loser’. A loser is someone who never learns from their loss, and sometimes it’s a person who can’t accept the fact that losing is a natural part of living. As we get older we tend to lose more and more, like persistent waves might erode the shoreline. It’s the natural evolution of life that our bodies lose the sculpted beauty, that our fire becomes less hot, or that we lose more of our childhood heroes to illness or death. It’s still shocking to me to see rock stars that I loved as a kid look so old, or to hear of the death of someone I admired so much growing up. I tell myself in the mirror that it’s only a matter of time, no holding back the ocean’s tide. Honestly, I struggle to see the youthful face I once possessed without the darker aging spots, permanent lines, tired eyes and white facial hairs. I hate the way age precedes me, setting the tone of who I am, or should be, before I ever speak. Further over, aches and pains mean the loss of energy or function, and I sure have my share these days, as the bullish young strength I had is only a memory. However, through the inevitable erosion, the creative mind will find ways to win while losing simultaneously, transforming this natural process into wisdom, a time to reflect, or even accomplish more by focusing on goals that were on back burners for the younger years of discontent and restlessness. There’s a freedom that comes with growing old. A freedom to not give a fuck! A freedom to accept that you are who you are. Some of us have a harder time letting go, including me. In my case, I lost nearly everything I had at an early age after a car accident that paralyzed me at a high level on my Spinal Cord, so my life post-injury was a constant fight to reclaim life by chipping away at the walls that held me back. I’d say the walls have been expanded considerably after determined digging, but I’m reaching my upper 40s now, and feel the proverbial waves eroding the territory I worked so hard to gain. It’s ok, life is about acquiring and relinquishing, both teaching you lessons. And, hopefully, the losses, that are coming at me more rapidly now, will not make me a loser, but a man who has won and lost battles, accepting both sides equally. |
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Post by dolly on Nov 12, 2006 15:34:41 GMT -5
i like this, tony.
and it's timely as i recently celebrated a birthday of which the number seems completely incongruous with how i feel.
i wouldn't trade my hard won insight and sense of peace for the youthfulness of days gone by... but it sure is a damn shame that wisdom and youth are so mutually exclusive.
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Post by spurs2000 on Nov 12, 2006 17:44:30 GMT -5
Interesting words again, Tony. He seemed to hit the nail on the head every time!
Spurs
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Post by BA on Nov 12, 2006 20:08:15 GMT -5
Beautiful peice Tony. Aging means getting over yourself, growing a sense of humor and perhaps having the best time of your life!
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Post by Ouch on Nov 13, 2006 11:34:51 GMT -5
Oh people, stop complaining about how old you are! j/k
...but seriously, it is really how you look at it...sometimes even...perhaps what is percieved as losing...is really not losing, but more of a transformation of things. Physical strength turns into mental strength...something we usually need more later in our lives, for example.
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Post by Pony on Nov 13, 2006 14:56:00 GMT -5
AB, Flubber n Windrider...all three of you are so right!! I read it to my mother, who's going to be 70 next month, and she basically said the same things you said. One of her sayings is 'i'd die, but it'd make too many people happy.' lol BTW, she's the coolest tiny old lady with a lot of fire in her...listens to loud rock n roll in her car!! She's really the one that turned me on to rock/pop music when i was a kid, despite my dad being a jazz musician.  |
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Post by Ouch on Nov 13, 2006 19:23:30 GMT -5
Same thing that happened to me...my mother is the one who really got me into music, well at least the stuff I listen to, and the style in which I play now...but she sounds like she was a pretty hip mom...considering her age in relativity, it makes sense.
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Post by Pony on Nov 14, 2006 17:14:42 GMT -5
Windwalker, tell me more about your playin music...i don't meet too many chair-players, and never met a quad rock singer like me...i've wondered how common it is, and think it would be kinda fun to play with a few chair musicians in public. i went and playd with an AB guitarist at an open mic last Thursday...he sat onstage in the lights, while i was beside the stage with mic stand w/boom. But the audience at these things are usually great, and i usually make em laugh about dumb banter.
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Post by Ouch on Nov 15, 2006 10:05:10 GMT -5
Windwalker, lol...I wish...but for now I am a Windrider.
I started out just writing songs for a local band of people from school, and then when they found out I could play guitar (they liked that I had learned in classical style...though they thought the fingerpicking was wierd) and then heard me (accidentally) sing, they had me join up. We did the classic rock thing first. We covered a lot of stuff from the late-60s, 70s, and 80s (primaraily mid 70s to mid 80s). Stuff like Fleetwood Mac (I had a lot of influence from them), the Eagles, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Stevie Nicks, Lindsey Buckingham, Tom Petty [and the Heartbreakers], etc. We also worked and performed some of our homebrew stuff...I was the primary writer lyrically...and we worked on putting together something that we were going to work on getting published. Another person we knew that was doing solo work and I were working on production, but things ended up splintering due to several circumstances. Some of us went our own ways for awhile, such as myself...I did a few solo stints, and joined up with other local bands that had friends or friends of friends in them...they were mainly bluesish groups, and that wasn't really my thing...so I kinda' drifted away from the whole music thing, and because of certain circumstances, I was isolated from the music scene for awhile.
I'm back into the fold, but I've been shifting gears to work on producing music rather than playing it at the moment. I workin' on trying to get a couple of people's work (as well as some of my own) published. So, actually as far as playing, I've been kinda' on hiatus right now. Especially since I have been pretty much bandless for awhile.
I wouldn't think that there would be many chair players as well...I'm percieved as....'unique' where I'm from. I have tended to be the comedian in my group too, as well as the stuntman in some cases...I've done a very exaggerated Jimi Hendrix immpression in my chair...that gets a few laughs...and if I'm not careful, a few bruises.
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Post by Pony on Nov 15, 2006 20:15:54 GMT -5
Windwalker, lol...I wish...but for now I am a Windrider. I started out just writing songs for a local band of people from school, and then when they found out I could play guitar (they liked that I had learned in classical style...though they thought the fingerpicking was wierd) and then heard me (accidentally) sing, they had me join up. We did the classic rock thing first. We covered a lot of stuff from the late-60s, 70s, and 80s (primaraily mid 70s to mid 80s). Stuff like Fleetwood Mac (I had a lot of influence from them), the Eagles, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Stevie Nicks, Lindsey Buckingham, Tom Petty [and the Heartbreakers], etc. We also worked and performed some of our homebrew stuff...I was the primary writer lyrically...and we worked on putting together something that we were going to work on getting published. Another person we knew that was doing solo work and I were working on production, but things ended up splintering due to several circumstances. Some of us went our own ways for awhile, such as myself...I did a few solo stints, and joined up with other local bands that had friends or friends of friends in them...they were mainly bluesish groups, and that wasn't really my thing...so I kinda' drifted away from the whole music thing, and because of certain circumstances, I was isolated from the music scene for awhile. I'm back into the fold, but I've been shifting gears to work on producing music rather than playing it at the moment. I workin' on trying to get a couple of people's work (as well as some of my own) published. So, actually as far as playing, I've been kinda' on hiatus right now. Especially since I have been pretty much bandless for awhile. I wouldn't think that there would be many chair players as well...I'm percieved as....'unique' where I'm from. I have tended to be the comedian in my group too, as well as the stuntman in some cases...I've done a very exaggerated Jimi Hendrix immpression in my chair...that gets a few laughs...and if I'm not careful, a few bruises. I remember a movie in 80s called "Windwalker", so there, your new nickname. As for your music, sounds like you've been active as hell, which is great of course...you sound like me with the "funny shit". It really warms the crowd to you if you're funny, they need t sometimes to see you're just like them. Plus, it's just fun!! I've had some duos/trios, where i was the singer and we played joints around Tampa Bay area, including the beach joints, coffeehouses and even a nudist resort, which we LOVED!!! lol I got a chance to play on radio, and i've done lots of recordings of originals and covers. We basically played the same kinda stuff you mentioned...i.e. Police, Bon Jovi, Fleetwood Mac, Petty, Beatles, etc. I'm not as active as i used to be, but still play with a guitarist at times for small things. Keep rockin da boat!!!  |
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Post by dolly on Nov 15, 2006 20:16:39 GMT -5
not exactly rock and roll, but vic chesnutt is a quad singer/songwriter who seems to have a decent following and tours every once in a while. plays guitar too.
tony, your mom is awesome. ;D
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Post by Ouch on Nov 15, 2006 20:51:44 GMT -5
Nudist Resort...Man, I hope that was a women-only affair...that would add blindness to my list of 'ailments' had it been otherwise for me lol.
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Post by Pony on Nov 17, 2006 16:00:14 GMT -5
not exactly rock and roll, but vic chesnutt is a quad singer/songwriter who seems to have a decent following and tours every once in a while. plays guitar too. tony, your mom is awesome. ;D |
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Post by Pony on Nov 17, 2006 16:09:28 GMT -5
Nudist Resort...Man, I hope that was a women-only affair...that would add blindness to my list of 'ailments' had it been otherwise for me lol. |
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Post by Ouch on Nov 17, 2006 23:54:23 GMT -5
*shivers* ...almost poked in the eye...ewww...
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