A poem

[laurasweetou]

(written at age 15 or so)
"Dear Daddy 2"

I have become what you said I'd become
What you acussed me of
What you taught me
I am the seed you planted
Wild and untamed
Immature with a quick tounge
Letting my breasts be admired by many men
But keep looking past me
Because that's safe for you

[Ouch]

Nice, I can always respect a good work of poetry.

[Pony]

I'm not crazy about most poetry, unless it's Def Poetry Jam, or something REAL and vulnerable, but i gotta say i like this very much for those reasons. Pain creates the best art, and while it's always scary to reveal yourself, it's also rewarding to express it. This short poem has blood on it...i dig it!! Good writing, Laura!!

[Ouch]

The poem reminds me of the style of Sylvia Plath (sorta' the style I write in actually).

[laurasweetou]

Do I dare post more?

[Ouch]

I don't object, in fact, I may be inspired to post some of my stuff.

[laurasweetou]

I'm terrified of rejection, my poetry is very personal, but... I'll dig some older ones out this weekend.

[Ouch]

I'm terrified of rejection, my poetry is very personal

Ditto (yet I make a living off sharing writing, lol)

[laurasweetou]

The heart and the body are the pain of the mind, the heart and mind are the pain of the soul, the heart and the soul are the pain of the body and love is the pain of man and myself. 03-12-99


I wrote this for the first para I went out with

RANDY
Mr. not so wonderful
How do you get along
After your public appearance goes
And your song is sung
You speak of changes
But nothing gets done...outside of me
And that is your feat, your great accomplishment
Well, me and that bottle you drunk down
This goes on all week
Too drunk, too weak
I work to make you love me
Yet still I never see
You'll always love that bottle
So much more than you love me.

03-16-99
Do you worry that you're not liked?
How long until you break?
You're happy cause you smile,
but how much can you fake?
An ordinary boy and an ordinary waste
But, ordinaries just not good enough today

03-17-99
The clothes that smell of you
I'll trade you a poem, maybe even two
I'll trade my life with hers if
Theres absolutely no other way
To have your heart
and your dirty laundry
I'll do anything you say

Silly me, laughing so much!
Talking so much
Hi it's me
I'm not at home
Leave me a message
And I'll leave you alone

[obscure]

laurasweetou said:

03-16-99
Do you worry that you're not liked?
How long until you break?
You're happy cause you smile,
but how much can you fake?
An ordinary boy and an ordinary waste
But, ordinaries just not good enough today

You write the songs for Our Lady Peace, do you?

[Chan]

obscure said:

laurasweetou said:

03-16-99
Do you worry that you're not liked?
How long until you break?
You're happy cause you smile,
but how much can you fake?
An ordinary boy and an ordinary waste
But, ordinaries just not good enough today

You write the songs for Our Lady Peace, do you?

Oh god. Lolz. This is awesome.

[matisse]

Awww, give the girl a break. Assuming the song was out before '99, she probably just jotted down the lyrics at that time.

[obscure]

She was eighteen years old when she wrote that poem; she really ought to have known better.

[laurasweetou]

obscure said:

She was eighteen years old when she wrote that poem; she really ought to have known better.

I do know better, I just like the lyrics, they spoke to me. I'm not trying to plagerize.

[obscure]

You know how you avoid plagarism?

GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE.

You should have stated outright who the lyrics were actually by. As it stands, it looks like you thought we were too dumb to figure out for ourselves that they weren't yours. Too bad, you lose.