My Writing(s)

[Ouch]

Listening to the wind upon my window.
Listening to the rain upon my door.
I've tried to sleep, sleep won't come;
just as I begin to fall...

...then I see her
with the moonlight full and bright;
she saves me from the darkness
doing this slow dance in the night.

She is just like a dark-winged raven,
taking me from the arms of the tempest.
Slowly, softly, singing...
...have I met my match?
Undoing laces, slowly undoing her laces.

Haven't felt the dying sensation
since five years ago.
All those years like a lifetime passed,
struck dead by murd'rous foe.

Every night she'll make me smile
like the same way things used to be;
good enough for me.

Every night that sleep don't come,
it's the sweet pain that used to be;
good enough for me.

That spectre will crawl
out from the night,
begging daylight to never come...

...and I wake up
with my eyes closed tight,
always hoping tomorrow will someday come.

Is it just a wish?
Sober reality rocks me slowly,
placid words never satiating,
just bittersweet lullaby.
Zingiber Officinale, her agent,
grants brief, reluctant respite.

[Ouch]

The Panic

Moment of small dread
creeps upon slowly
freezing liquid of veins.
Chilly touch, vertebrae quiver.

Something to anticipate,
something to fear?
Always seen coming,
never able to stop.

Pacing about, pacing about,
slowly madness comes.
Constantly debating about
what I should've done.

Knocking on my door,
Knocking on my door,
the voices all whispering
the voices all SCREAMING!

Daemon and angel atop shoulders,
whispering in each ear.
All alone, only one
I can hate is myself.

Too much time
to listen to myself.
Dizziness wracks consciousness;
thoughts wrenching throat shut.

Chest tightens under tyrranical grip,
Gasping for air, lungs burn afire.
Face falling into palms, looking for help,
Closing eyes helplessly, wishing it all away.

Quietly sobbing, mother isn't around to hear,
Pressure rising 130/90, 140/100, 150/110,
Heart beating 90, 100, 110, 120,
Showered in sweat, slowly melting away; "I'm dying, I'm dying!"

Grasping hair, gripping scalp,
embracing self like an abortion.
Carving her name into my arm,
hoping the pain will relieve.

Falling back sighing,
finally have given up;
The Cerebrum begging
for sleep commodity.

[Ouch]

Pessimism...?

Hot as a hare,
blind as a bat,
dry as a bone,
red as a beet,
mad as a hatter...

822 days and nights of loneliness,
my heartbeat driving me mad.
Slowly, slowly, it dies,
From 60, to 40, 20...0...

'Atrophine Injection - Stat!'
Oh, Foul Necromancer!
Why do you curse me with life!?
My heart racing with
'hope', 'lust', 'love'?

That night, the Deadly Nightshade
posioned my very veins.
Knitting together, thread by thread,
temptation from which I had hidden from.

So alluring, the Bella Donna;
Beautiful Woman, great big eyes
peering into my soul enchained.
Tainted flower; I harvest a second bloom.

Another battle I must fight?
Have already surrendered once,
another was KIA; but it's addictive:
'Dulce bellum inexpertis'.

Afraid to lose, afraid to win...
One more pitch to the plate,
Down two strikes, one more
and I'm out for good.

Once more with feeling!
A broken heart once again?
An innocent fantasy spurned?
Hiding the scorpion's arrogance,
making the lady lion my queen.

She's adorned with the hunter's colours,
'A stag, any stag will do!',
just for this fleeting moment?
The trap bites the lone wolf.

Scoring that triple,
but needing two balls,
a walk to win the game.
A weak bat at the plate...

Gifting her treasures;
hoping to buy her
like the common courtesan?
No coupons reedeemable for love.

As she kisses you,
tongue sliding into your mouth,
as she is loving you,
are you so dead,
that all your soul
does is sigh?

Tragic hypocrite -
wanting to kill yourself
when you had no one to love...
Now it finds you
and you seek the same end.

[Ouch]

...Optimism!

Closing the chapter,
opening a new door,
bringing back love,
where there was no love before.

I prayed for guidance from above;
He said: "Gather all your hopes and love,
live your life without any doubts,
Everything's outside in, and inside out,"
I prayed for guidance from above;
He told me: "Never, never be afraid,
all that has been spoken is what
was needed to be said,"
I prayed for guidance from above.

I was exiled
from out of town;
for a thousand days,
hid in the underground.

I tried to swim,
but could only drown,
across the endless sea;
Oh, but then you saved me.

A thousand days,
once lost, but now found.
All that time, not so long,
just long enough, to break free;
Oh, and now you've saved me.

Missing you each morning,
missing you each evening,
I'll survive tonight with just dreams.
She always runs, where the Wind blows,
She follows it wherever it goes;
Oh, and you've saved me.

Look at us now,
the bad years gone down,
pain left behind me now.

I've been let out,
I can hear the sounds,
all of the crumbling walls,
she's tearing down.
Now it's just you,
now it's just me;
Oh, you've come to save me.

Bringing that love,
where there was no love before.
Behind me, closing that door,
opening this new chapter.

If I go insane,
maybe we'll go together.
All those bad memories,
they're gone forever,
they're gone forever,
...gone forever...
...gone forever...
...gone...
...gone...
...forever...
...forever.

[Ouch]

-- For Sarah

You came to me,
You were just in time;
I was ready to die;
The pain impossible to describe.

I love you beautiful child,
You always are a sweet surprise;
Stopped the shattering crash,
Now we’re parallel lines.

Love comes from underground,
Love coming together from broken homes;
Dark-haired angel won’t be alone,
Love comes from underground.

In the ebony of night,
Tears of blood I did cry.
You play to a different tune,
You soothe my dark side.

I prayed to Prophet Christ;
She gave me a new state of mind;
In the autumn brilliance,
It was then I knew.

Love comes from deep underground,
Love coming together from broken homes.
Dark-haired angel won’t be alone,
Love came from underground.

[Ouch]

New Canaan Rain

Driving for a cause
I don't want to remember anymore.
Circumstances didn't bother me,
even if others called it strange.

Nobody thought that knock
would be at their door;
that night amid flashing and noise,
it suddenly came.

I cried her name;
I went insane,
and I felt the pain of
drowning in the New Canaan rain.

It was a younger day,
I had just closed one door.
Left a misery that
couldn't escape her shame.

It came piece by piece,
in an eternal moment came the storm.
On the wrong side of God settling a score,
but only I would remain to suffer like Cain.

I cried her name;
I went insane,
and I felt the pain of
drowning in the New Canaan rain.

New Haven my genesis,
after three days her end.
Father and mother left her to fate,
dreams of a lifetime told me wrong.

So the rain came
and put out my fire;
it took me a thousand days
to build a new flame.

I cry her name;
I go insane,
and I can still feel the pain of
drowning in the New Canaan rain.

[Ouch]

Black Widow

Black Widow crawled through my window,
She was Deaf, I couldn’t see
What a mess she’d make of me;
I was her Devotee.

Wore the masque of a liar,
Had a face of glass;
She looked good in a mirror,
But could never get past.

Snorted a line of
That temporary Heaven,
I’d suffer through Hell
Until half past eleven.

Cocaine days, Heroin nights;
Stupid boy in the wheelchair,
Being robbed blind;
Paying any price for the pretty girl with blonde hair.

It was only because we were lonely,
She was nothing but Lust,
She kept me wrapped in Fear,
She was never really Here,

She never really cared,
She lied just to fight,
She was a whore I adored,
She was a God and I was her rod,
She always cried: “More! More! More!”

Then came the night time,
She was looking for a little more,
Already had the needle out,
I just couldn’t hold on.

[Ouch]

Shades of Insanity

Sanity, how I long to see you;
Sanity, why didn’t you save Lindsey?
Sanity, why did you abandon me?

Honesty, did we desert you?
Honesty, why did she betray you?
Honesty, do I even know you?

No longer episodic,
She’s got me on the run.
She tells me I’m neurotic,
I’ve got my head lined up with the gun.

Lindsey, will I ever be able to let go of you?
Lindsey, what will be the next blade you’ll run me through?
Lindsey, why am I such a damn fool?

Insanity, it’s come to murder me;
Insanity, it’s become my creed;
Insanity, you’re going to set me free.

She was ever so hypnotic,
It always started out as fun.
It was so damn erotic,
I could never say I was done.


The Dream

Can’t wake up,
Pain is crippling,
I keep calling,
but she can’t answer.

Banshee chuckling,
Storm winds crying,
no one around,
to see me dying.

I’m a shadow on my lover’s stone,
where she was laid,
laid to rest.
I ask her if this is a nightmare,
or just another test.
I turn back against the cold,
turn around to face the wind.
I wonder if I will ever,
ever love again.

Shadow on Ella’s stone,
a thousand days,
gone it seems,
I ask her if I can ever escape,
escape this nightmare,
but I hear:
Never, never, never…

…even though I prayed,
I knew you couldn’t have stayed
with me in this lonely place,
This lonely, lonely, lonely,
lonely place of Dreams.

[Inigo Montoya]

I love them. And they fit my current mood. You know, the one that lives under your happy face.

They speak, Windy, to my deep.

[Valkyrja]

WOW!.. I´m wordless!... as usual, I love it!
for people of melancholic essence like myself... this touch the deepest fiber!!
Thank you

[Dee Dee]

Another nice piece Wind-writer

What are you going to write next? The wedding vows?

[Ouch]

[Not written by me, but for/about me by someone else]

Blue Flame [Lindsey H.]

Went searching for my lover
that I abandoned long ago.
There was no one left around,
I had looked everywhere,
but nothing was to be found.
There was only a great blue flame
set upon that house on the hill.

I was not ready for him,
I was no sorceress,
and I was too proud.
Told him, "Go find a love,
and give it to her."
My divine angel,
my guardian angel,
if you were wiser you would get out.

Up upon the hill,
the castle was once mine.
Down here, we laughed
once upon a time.
Inside these walls, we sang
once upon a time.
Out here, we loved
once upon a time.
You laughed, now you cry,
I laughed, now I cry,
we laughed, now we die.

Never listened to him,
but ran a knife through him.
Freedom is all I can give.
My divine angel,
my guardian angel,
if you were wiser you would get out.

...and the light that shines in the dark of night,
is the fire burning within my lover's soul,
...and the blue light flickers upon the hill,
he suffers the pains of Hell...

Alexander, please do not cry,
Alexander, please do not cry...

[Inigo Montoya]

That's... I don't know what to say about it. It's very well done. Is she the one that you were writing poetry about a while back?

[Ouch]

Young Lust I [Adapted] (R. Waters, D. Gilmour)

[Phone Ringing]
[Phone Ringing]
“Holy shit…”
[Phone Picked Up]
“H-Hello?”
“Hi Alex, it’s Lindsey, from school…”
“W-oah…uh, hey!”

She is just the new girl
Stranger in this school
I’m ready for some good times,
Gonna’ show this new girl around.

Oooh, I need a dirty woman,
Oooh, I need a dirty girl…

Will this girl from the Southern land,
Help me become a real man?
I’ll take this Clarke School refugee,
Ooh, Lindsey, set me free!

Oooh, I need a deaf woman,
Oooh, I need a deaf girl…

[Half a Phone Ring]
(Beleaguered) “Yes?”
“Alex! Why the fuck didn’t you pick up sooner!?”
“I’m sorr –“
“You fucking idiot!”
“Linds –“
[Click, Dial Tone]

Young Lust II

[Phone Ringing]
[Phone Ringing]
“Woot!”
[Phone Picked Up]
“Hello.”
“Hi Alex, it’s Ella, I don’t know if you remember me…”
“Yes! Yes, I do…yeah…”

She is just the Latvian girl,
Stranger in this town,
Hoping for some good times,
Gonna’ show the next girl around

Oooh, I need a dirty woman,
Oooh, I need a dirty girl…

Does lightning strike twice,
In a foreign land?
Another Clarke School refugee,
Ooh, Ella, set me free!

Oooh, I need a dirty woman,
Oooh, I need a dirty girl…

[Hospital Phone Rings]
(Beleaguered) “Yes?”
“Alex, this is Doctor France, I have some bad news.”
“…”
“We couldn’t save her, I’m sorr-“
[Click, Dial Tone]

Young Lust III

[Typing]
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Windrider687
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Hey, windrider687, you have 31 messages, 1 is new
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Subject From Date
Re: Hi noi1588 Today at 11:38pm

She is just the new member,
Stranger on this messageboard,
Been alone for a long time,
Gonna’ show the local Dev around

Oooh, I need a dirty woman,
Oooh, I need a dirty girl…

Will this girl from Rhode Island,
Make me into a happy man?
Will she take this Romantic refugee,
Ooh, noi1588, set me free!

Oooh, I need a Devoted woman,
Oooh, I need a Devotee girl…

[Thinking]
noi1588? How the hell do I pronounce that?
Nuoy? No ay? Noy?
…1588…must’ve been born in January ’88…
Rhode Island…bet she’s from Providence…
…hmm…I remember the stories about Providence…
…I’ll give it a shot…
[Typing]

**********

Goodbye Lindsey

Goodbye Lindsey,
You’ve knocked me down,
And I’m not coming around again.
I’m giving up,
But I’m not giving in.

Love turned to hate,
Your touch turned too cold,
What can I do?
Your life is coke,
Goodbye Lindsey.

Goodbye Lindsey,
I’m giving up,
But I won’t give in.
Yesterday is not like today,
My friend.

Love turned to hate,
Your touch turned too cold,
What can I do?
Your life is coke,
Goodbye Lindsey.

Goodbye, Lindsey…
…she keeps on pulling!
Gotta’ just let her go!

Goodbye, Lindsey.
…keep on rolling!
Just let her go!

Goodbye, Lindsey!
…keeps me yearning!
Keep on going!
Just let her go!

…Goodbye, Angel…

**********

Been alone for three years,
So many ways to count the tears,
It’ll never change, she’ll never live.
I’m so afraid of where I am.

Every day it rains
And the sun is gone,
It’s black as night,
Agony’s torn at my heart too long,
I’m so afraid,
I’ll cut my throat, fall, and I’ll die.

Been alone all this time,
No one wants to stay around,
It’ll never change, she’ll never live.
I’m so afraid of where I am.

Today it rains,
And Ella is gone,
It’s black as night,
The women have torn at my heart too long,
I’m so afraid,
I’ll cut my throat, fall, and I’ll die.

**********

Devotee

I’m a clandestine worshipper,
Praying to the scarred idol,
The Goddess damns me
For my misunderstood adoration.

The Priestesses of the
Same order hate me
For the sins of my cousins.
They call me a beast,
Seeking to consume prey.

O, unhearing Goddess,
My pleas to you,
Are quite mute.
Only if I had another chance
To prove my Devotion to you.

In the temple, I am most unwanted,
I sought refuge, alas ‘twas only a mirage,
Tortured priestess suffers much like me
She tried to set me free,
But from fate I have tried to flee.

No haven for this unfortunate
Breed of Devotee,
See no evil,
Hear no evil,
Speak no evil.
Becoming the next Relic,
Being put on exhibit.

[Ouch]

Being the last in line...
the last to be chosen,
stolen from the one,
who held onto a dream.

A silhouette of her dream,
treasured by the one,
who fights for it.

A sudden genesis
of a love affair,
her hands run slick,
smooth through my hair.

Long distance lovers,
will we survive the fight?
Neither of us
will run from the firefight.

I would love to believe...
I believe what you say,
it's the drama of the moment,
for us there is no easy way,
please don't ever leave,
I hope this fire never fades.

Back in the line -
What caused this fearsome
Divorce in the night,
when there was no competition?

We have to do it right,
To survive the fight,
to survive the distance!
Do you believe in the fight?
Will you fight?
Will you fight?
My glittering firefly...

What happened to my feelings?
We are dreamers in the night,
amidst my nightmare,

On sinking ships, but neither of us run,
from this love affair...
Hands running softly
through my hair.

I would love to believe...
I believe what you say.