Post by kryptic on Sept 21, 2007 16:11:41 GMT -5
I think back to spending nearly half my childhood waiting in doctors offices, being poked and prodded by strange men in white coats, laying in hospital beds, and laying on operating tables.
I think about being teased and ostracized in school. Enduring the daily gauntlet of cruel kids and overweight bullies who pointed, who laughed, and who used to throw gum and paper balls at the back of my head.
I think back at the countless times I rode in ambulances being rushed off to the hospital. Spending days and sometimes even weeks bound in that all too familiar motorized bed in a pale and cold hospital room.
I remembered the days when I used to drink myself to sleep. Often times not being able to remember what I had done the previous day.
I think about my days of dope, and remembered the day my friend died from overdosing on heroine. He left behind a wife, and three kids.
I remember all the people in my life whom I have lost. Some whom have died, some whom have journeyed on different paths. And some whom burned their bridges.
I sometimes allow myself to become overly consumed with societies dysfunctions, and my own idiosyncrasies. And analyzing to death…life in general.
I often question my own logic. Realizing that life is full of chioces & decisions, including our choices about what to think & believe. Although everyone “prefers” to believe what is true, more often than not, we will disagree with each other about what that is in particular instances. Perhaps some of our most fundamental convictions in life are acquired by haphazard means rather than by the use of reason?
Some days I cannot wait to get up and start my day. And sometimes I have to force myself to get out of bed.
Sometimes I just get really tired of living. And sometimes I can’t live enough. I can only hope that my mind will always prefer the latter.
But for now, I am greatful for all the wonderful people that was, is, and may become a part of my life.
And whatever happens…happens, to put it in sheer simplicity.
But this is simply a matter of fate and circumstance. And must remind myself that I simply have no control over things that may or may not be down the distant road ahead. For all I know, I can cross the street tomorrow morning and get runned over by a car. I could take a shower and crack my head open and no one would know for days or even weeks. Or…I could win the lottery and suddenly find myself with more money than I would know what to do with.
Who knows? ANYTHING can happen, and anything is possible.
But this is merely the rants of a madman.
I’m only kidding of course…I am not “mad”…
or am I?
- Kryptic
I think about being teased and ostracized in school. Enduring the daily gauntlet of cruel kids and overweight bullies who pointed, who laughed, and who used to throw gum and paper balls at the back of my head.
I think back at the countless times I rode in ambulances being rushed off to the hospital. Spending days and sometimes even weeks bound in that all too familiar motorized bed in a pale and cold hospital room.
I remembered the days when I used to drink myself to sleep. Often times not being able to remember what I had done the previous day.
I think about my days of dope, and remembered the day my friend died from overdosing on heroine. He left behind a wife, and three kids.
I remember all the people in my life whom I have lost. Some whom have died, some whom have journeyed on different paths. And some whom burned their bridges.
I sometimes allow myself to become overly consumed with societies dysfunctions, and my own idiosyncrasies. And analyzing to death…life in general.
I often question my own logic. Realizing that life is full of chioces & decisions, including our choices about what to think & believe. Although everyone “prefers” to believe what is true, more often than not, we will disagree with each other about what that is in particular instances. Perhaps some of our most fundamental convictions in life are acquired by haphazard means rather than by the use of reason?
Some days I cannot wait to get up and start my day. And sometimes I have to force myself to get out of bed.
Sometimes I just get really tired of living. And sometimes I can’t live enough. I can only hope that my mind will always prefer the latter.
But for now, I am greatful for all the wonderful people that was, is, and may become a part of my life.
And whatever happens…happens, to put it in sheer simplicity.
But this is simply a matter of fate and circumstance. And must remind myself that I simply have no control over things that may or may not be down the distant road ahead. For all I know, I can cross the street tomorrow morning and get runned over by a car. I could take a shower and crack my head open and no one would know for days or even weeks. Or…I could win the lottery and suddenly find myself with more money than I would know what to do with.
Who knows? ANYTHING can happen, and anything is possible.
But this is merely the rants of a madman.
I’m only kidding of course…I am not “mad”…
or am I?
- Kryptic
