Have you ever dated a male Dev?

[ichbin]

devs only! .... have you ever talked to, chatted with or had personal contact with male devotees (of disabled women)?

To me this is a very fascinating topic these days.... I am on a German dating site for people with and without disabilities.


In my profile I am very straight forward about my devness.

I received a lot of messages recently from men who are devotees (of amputee women or SCI women). Most of them tell me that they find it great that I am so honest about my preferences in my profile (they themselves aren´t at all), and they ask me how the disabled men's world is responding to this. From their experience, disabled women are not so open to meet devotee men.


Now there is one specific man, with whom I had such a sexy chat about our fantasies... we "tick" very similar... it really turned out to be more like a flirt in the end... and we both found it very arousing to share our fantasies because we understood each other so well... 

We both ended up thinking about meeting in real life to explore our sexuality together... and I feel I really want to try that... 

Does any of you have experience in that sense?

[Amee]

I don't have any experience with male devs, but I've always thought that connecting with a male dev could be awesome both emotionally as well as sexually, for the exact reasons you describe. To have a partner who just "gets" this part of you and with whom you could explore the sexual side of it without any feelings of insecurity or inhibitions sounds great to me!

[ContingentlyComposite]

I've only interacted with a few male devs on Fetlife and most were weird (in a bad way) and weren't people I had much in common with. I think dating a male dev could be great in theory though for the reasons you mention! I'd say go for it if they seem like someone you might be generally compatible with and there are no red flags regarding their trustworthiness.

[newmn]

I have...but of course it's a different perspective as a gay dev. We tend to talk about the "types" we're attracted to and it's nice to be open with someone who understands. I may be wrong, but I don't see discussions like that happening in a straight relationship.

[lisa]

I have met a lot of male devs online under the same circumstances that you described, being on this German dating platform for PWDs. I am open in my profile about being a dev there and I have received messages of dozens (no exaggeration) of male devs. Most of them didn't state that they were a dev in their profile, but were very open with me. Some of them just wanted to exchange messages/fantasies, some of them liked to pretend and wanted me to "enjoy their pretending". I had the impression that there were quite many pretenders among the male devs that messaged me. Anyway, I'm only in for the real deal ;-), but I always got the feeling that a board like PD is missing for male devs, especially in German.

[Dani]

I've interacted with male devs over the years, and most of them turned out to be pretenders as well. Or they say at first they are a dev, but then after talking to them more, it turned out they were pretenders and wanted me to feed into their urges of pretending and getting that confirmation from me that I would be into them and how "good" they were in pretending. Then I didn't care for it too much anymore because I am also picky and it felt like it got turned around like suddenly it was all about them and pretending and less about us sharing the dev part.
I've only met one guy out of many others who is a dev and pretender who I actually crushed on super hard and yes, it was because we totally clicked. He was straight, a dev for disabled women and a pretender but a kind, sincere dude, and I would totally be into him pretending. I still think of him often and we really had a connection.
It's sad to say, but many of the male devs I've met were kind of creepy, including one actual real sociopath I've interacted with, and that was super intense and scary for me.

[Dani]

Feb 20, 2022 12:32:42 GMT -5 newmn said:

I have...but of course it's a different perspective as a gay dev. We tend to talk about the "types" we're attracted to and it's nice to be open with someone who understands. I may be wrong, but I don't see discussions like that happening in a straight relationship.

I don't understand...you think it's difficult to have discussions about attraction in a straight relationship or just between a male and female dev?

Because I believe that in a straight relationship it is very much possible to have discussions about who we are attracted to. My husband knows exactly that I am attracted to wheelers and I know he finds a certain ethnicity of women attractive. We've been out and about and have made up little stories to each other about people around us that we found attractive. 

[newmn]

Feb 20, 2022 19:26:49 GMT -5 Dani said:

Feb 20, 2022 12:32:42 GMT -5 newmn said:

I have...but of course it's a different perspective as a gay dev. We tend to talk about the "types" we're attracted to and it's nice to be open with someone who understands. I may be wrong, but I don't see discussions like that happening in a straight relationship.

I don't understand...you think it's difficult to have discussions about attraction in a straight relationship or just between a male and female dev?

Because I believe that in a straight relationship it is very much possible to have discussions about who we are attracted to. My husband knows exactly that I am attracted to wheelers and I know he finds a certain ethnicity of women attractive. We've been out and about and have made up little stories to each other about people around us that we found attractive. 

Maybe I’m only comparing it to my “pre-coming out” marriage to a woman. It’s not something she and I ever talked about. 

[ichbin]

I have contact to both....

1.) male devotees and
2.) male persons with BIID (- some of them are devotees as well)

There are many male devotees though I got to know who are not at all into pretending. They just find women in wheelchairs or amputee women extremely sexy.

[Deleted]

I’ve had friends with benefits relationships with male devs and found it very satisfying, because there’s that shared understanding of interests and it creates a specific kind of chemistry, sometimes veering into roleplay/pretending.

[londongayboy]

No, but I wouldn't mind it. Especially if they had some form of biid or wannabe feeling.