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Post by BA on Jul 8, 2009 19:42:42 GMT -5
I know we've been disucssing the other viewpoint on the other thread, but lately quite a few comments have come up on various threads where devs have expressed quite a bit of anger and fear regarding wheelers, to the point of thinking that 'maybe I can talk myself out of being a dev' . What's going on ladies? What do you most fear?
In the past I have been afraid of (in no particular order):
My being overwhelmed by a disability that is too much for me to handle and not being able to tell the guy directly. What do you say; "you're too disabled for me?" Ouch, that hurts.
Being stalked.
Having my devness thrown back at me in a hurtful and abusive way.
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Post by irishclaire on Jul 8, 2009 20:29:20 GMT -5
I agree with the 3rd one 100% AB. That freakin hurts.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2009 20:43:39 GMT -5
I've actually been told that I wasn't disabled enough. In my opinion, C-5 is PLENTY disabled.
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Post by laurasweetou on Jul 9, 2009 10:46:32 GMT -5
Having my devness thrown back at me in a hurtful and abusive way.
Well said dear friend!
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Phil
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Post by Phil on Jul 9, 2009 13:07:21 GMT -5
Having my devness thrown back at me in a hurtful and abusive way. Well said dear friend! You are going to meet small-minded, judgmental people in this world. Some will judge you on your race, looks, sexual orientation or preference, income, lifestyle, how you dress, where you live, what car you drive, whatever. That's just the way the world works, unfortunately. I wish I could say that things will someday be better in that way, but I don't think it will ever go away 100%. I've run into wheelers that were just as racist and bigoted as any other social group. You would think (or hope) that a group of people that live with blatant discrimination, and often have to undo some pretty hurtful preconceived societal ideas about themselves, would be (or become) more tolerant and accepting of everyone. You would think that. You would hope that. But unfortunately, it's not always the case. But, there is good news. People that think this way often (but not always) show their true colors right away, so you can often weed them out of your life immediately.
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Post by Ciao Bella on Jul 11, 2009 20:38:46 GMT -5
Having my devness thrown back at me in a hurtful and abusive way.
Maybe not abusively, but definitely hurtful. I guess (I hope) I'm now mature enough to sit back, take a deep breath, and talk the problem over. I'm happy to say that my devness and his being a para are non-issues now...but that's not to say we didn't have any bumps along the way.
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Post by Ciao Bella on Jul 14, 2009 20:16:31 GMT -5
Hey Fubb! hope you've been well In all honesty, the circumstances under which my partner and I met IRL was not exactly ideal and because I respect him, I'm not going into details. A very moot issue that we have overcome is that "I'm only with him coz he's a crip". We've since established that yes, I was initially attracted to him because of that, but I'm just a very lucky girl because he turned out to be a beautiful man inside as well - and that's most important. There is another issue that's para-related but I think it's not appropriate to discuss in a public forum. btw, will be PMing you - I've got a few questions about Northern Qld, hoping you could answer them (assuming you've been there before)
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Post by E on Jul 15, 2009 7:33:01 GMT -5
There is another issue that's para-related but I think it's not appropriate to discuss in a public forum. That's really too bad, y'know, that it's come to that. I recall this being THE place you WOULD discuss an intimate para-related issue, protected by your Internet anonymity and the likemindedness of your peers. Ah well.
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Post by devogirl on Jul 15, 2009 10:27:45 GMT -5
If she doesn't want to discuss it because it would violate his privacy, that's her business. Not everyone wants the details of their sex lives posted in a public forum, even if it is anonymous.
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Post by E on Jul 15, 2009 11:03:09 GMT -5
Oh, certainly, but her preference not to share is certainly the rule now, and that's a change from times past.
Call me nostalgic.
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Phil
Junior Member
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Post by Phil on Jul 16, 2009 17:24:54 GMT -5
Oh, certainly, but her preference not to share is certainly the rule now, and that's a change from times past. Call me nostalgic. Hi Nostalgic. I'm Ambivalent. Well, not really.
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Post by Ciao Bella on Jul 17, 2009 18:10:33 GMT -5
I understand what you're saying, E, and you do have valid points about the channel and anonymity issues. However, just because I'm a dev and this is a para-dev site doesn't automatically give every member of this forum rights to my private life (no matter how anonymous I may be). I have to thank Devodiva for recognizing that this is my business, and my choice whether to share or not. I just think there is a line between wanting to know/share everything para-dev related and respecting our relationship's privacy.
That being said, I am happy to PM with anyone who may be interested what this issue is, as I have PMd with other people in the past about different matters. And I will defend this invitation before anyone else eats my head off ... Any exchanges in PM mode, I regard as private as the name suggests, and therefore any conversation that ensues will only be between myself and the other person, and therefore not proclaiming in a public forum.
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Post by E on Jul 17, 2009 19:33:26 GMT -5
You do you. No worries here.
As I said, your stance isn't the exception, but the rule. I'd say that makes you normal.
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Post by Claire on Jul 27, 2009 20:38:47 GMT -5
I am scared of wheelers. It's not a question of fearing being in a relationship with them because that's not possible for me, I'm not going there. For me it's fear of talking to them or becoming friends, because I'm afraid it is obvious. Fear of being hated for who/what I am. Fear of discovery, of them telling others.
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Post by Ray T on Jul 27, 2009 22:21:20 GMT -5
Claire, I will be your friend and i will not think less of because you are a dev and will not tell a sole...
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