|
Post by Maurine on Sept 21, 2015 11:14:00 GMT -5
I also had a description of my devness in my profile during my brief period of online dating. It was a disabled dating site and I only got positive reactions to my preferences. My boyfriend of now knew about devs and messaged me, using the dev term. Sadly, some disabled dating sites are hostile towards devs. I know of devs whose profiles were deleted.
|
|
|
Post by Emma on Sept 21, 2015 11:20:41 GMT -5
Welcome rebeckers! I'm happy to see you jumping into some of the discussions. I think its fine to revive some of the good, old threads.
I know I responded earlier in the thread but I'll say it again, my opinion and advice is to tell anyone you may be dating sooner rather than later. When I was on a disabled dating site it was written in my profile that I was interested in guys who were amputees. I'm not sure if I used the word devotee in the profile but when I told guys I usually explained my attraction and then used the word devotee afterwards. I actually had no issues with guys reacting negatively. Most guys had either never heard of devs, thought female devs weren't real or had only minimal knowledge of devs. I think when a guy thinks you are interested in him he is a lot more willing to learn about it and accept it.
|
|
|
Post by siouxwin on Oct 19, 2015 1:34:08 GMT -5
I have heard it both ways that when you tell the truth to someone you really like, they take it badly and think you're a freak, which I'm sure they just don't understand and probably are still having problems dealing with their own shit and then I have read where it's all sweet and adoring and they have lasting relationships, those are the lucky ones.
|
|
|
Post by eva on Oct 23, 2015 15:41:21 GMT -5
I never told my ex para BF because I didn't know what a dev was at the time. I was adamant about never telling (my secret garden, like Val), but then Emma has a point about the honesty part. Now, I would never tell an AB partner because it's really none of his business and would just be very frustrating for him (unless he's really really wise, open-minded and confident, but that's a rarity). Let's say you happen to be a petite brunette and your BF tells you he has ALWAYS fantasized about tall blondes (who really turn him on) and that it's a part of him that will always be there, how would you feel? On the other hand, after reading many posts (it's a recurring subject), I think I would tell a para BF if I had one. Without mentioning the word devotee right away, of course, if ever. And find the right time to say it. Like if a good-looking man happens to walk by and he says something, I'd tell him that the other guy doesn't stand a chance because he's not in a wheelchair, and take it from there.
|
|
|
Post by anniemouse on Dec 9, 2015 18:01:32 GMT -5
I have never disclosed to a living soul, but I've also never been with a pwd. Having only dated AB men, I'd also imagine they'd find it discouraging. For example-as a blonde, if I were really into a guy and he adored nearly everything about me, I wouldn't want to know that he has a thing for red heads as that might make me needlessly insecure.
|
|