vancityippy
Full Member
Posts: 209
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by vancityippy on Mar 12, 2013 22:16:35 GMT -5
OK, you're out with mr. Right, and he is disabled in a way that appeals to you. Would you want his disability to be more, or less visible? Everyone is different, so we shouldn't expect the same answer from everyone. If you are attracted to different things, does the answer depend upon the specific disability? I think I get it. In addition to thinking guys in chairs are particularly attractive... I definitely feel sexy, proud and confident when I'm out with a guy who is significantly disabled. Because I prefer a guy who requires extra assistance, and because that works for me, I feel most natural and flirty when I'm out with a more visibly disabled guy. Not shy at all!...if that's what the questions was getting at
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Post by BA on Mar 12, 2013 22:50:45 GMT -5
OK, you're out with mr. Right, and he is disabled in a way that appeals to you. Would you want his disability to be more, or less visible? Everyone is different, so we shouldn't expect the same answer from everyone. If you are attracted to different things, does the answer depend upon the specific disability? As you ask this question it is making me wonder if you are curious whether or not I'd like him to "flaunt" aspects of his disability. If that is what you mean then my answer would likely be no. In your case, I know you use braces so is your wearing shorts more? For me, (maybe oddly), it isn't. Sometimes I see stuff like that the way a guy sees sexy lingerie. You know there's something sexy under there and somehow it's sexier when it's hinted at, rather than in your face. I am more attracted to what I consider "less disabled" guys anyway, so that could affect my preference for "less can be more". Then there is a whole other aspect to this question which I see as maybe a guy showcasing his disability. If you are a para with good athletic skills and the ability to transfer into unique places, then yes. I would love to see you get in that high truck or hand climb up a ladder. Not sure if that exaggerates disability or strength tho.... Hmmmm. Then there is another possibility which is, do I want to see my guy in a position where he can't do something or is "stuck" somewhere. Mixed feeling on that. If its in the context of agreed upon play (sexual or otherwise), then I could get really hot from it. If it's a situation where he's in any kind of discomfort or its forced on him (accidental or on purpose) then no way would I like it. Make any sense?
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Post by Emma on Mar 12, 2013 23:30:47 GMT -5
OK, you're out with mr. Right, and he is disabled in a way that appeals to you. Would you want his disability to be more, or less visible? For me it doesn't matter if he does anything to make his disability more or less visible in public but I do do tend to like guys who would have a tough time hiding their disability (I was always most attracted to amputees who were missing more than one limb above the knee or elbow). Personally when looking at a guy I am into, I prefer to see him without prosthetics however that preference has nothing to do with what others are seeing - I'd prefer him to be with out prosthetics both if we were alone at home or out at a restaurant. Please keep in mind that if the guy chose to use prosthetics for mobility I'd be totally okay with him using them but would prefer for him to have them off if he wasn't using them and we were together. So, I guess preference for my guys appearance in relation to his disability is not tied to others perception of me, him or us but is more of a personal visual preference.
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Post by lavly on Mar 13, 2013 5:57:07 GMT -5
If you could permanently get rid of your dev-ness, would you? you know my answer has only resonantly changed. it use to be hell yes! cos it was super hard just not getting my own head. even trying to explain it makes me want to cry. growing up a dev is like growing up as a lier ... and its the kinda lier that only truly lies to ones self. you lie and lie ... and it gets you so fare away from your own needs. ( i know that makes no sence ... maybe ill come back to it on a later date.) but now i have come to treams with it and think that my sex drive will always be higher for it ... and that my devness has made me and continus to make me into a better person (not that im saying iam a good person just better then i would be if i wasnt a dev). think about it .... i meet and converse with ppl that have gone through life changing tromatic events. or ppl that due to born disabilitys just see the world a lil differently ... how can i posibly be around that and not grow?... not see more in life? so yeah now i want to just be me
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Post by lavly on Mar 13, 2013 6:01:43 GMT -5
im sorry mike ... i dont get your question i m into paras/ quads and the only time my dude can really hide his dis in public is if he is in a car. but i know he is in a chair so im still turned on ... mmhh and im into him more during those time cos he drive all sexy
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2013 12:27:27 GMT -5
I am with BA, she expresses how I feel....less is more sometimes...I feel the same way about nudity, I don't want to see all of a guys stuff hanging out....that is also why porn doesn't really do anything for me either....
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Post by mike on Mar 13, 2013 13:30:39 GMT -5
It would appear as if my question was open to a lot of different interpretations.
I wasn't thinking of any kind of "Put on a show", but more along the lines of this: I have different kinds of braces, and depending upon which ones I wear, they will be more obvious or less obvious. That would depend upon the amount the braces are visible, and how 'normal' my gait appears. When I dress for comfort, my braces are more obvious, and although I really don't care one way or another how I look, comfort is the choice. When I want to be less obvious, I am also less comfortable (physically).
Hypothetically, and only considering how YOU feel, which would be your choice? How I feel, physically or mentally, is not a part of the question, so it doesn't help to say "Whatever makes you comfortable". That sounds considerate, but fails to answer the question.
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Post by lavly on Mar 14, 2013 4:29:45 GMT -5
umm mike if i think your asking what i think your asking ... then this is a really really hard one for me to answer ...
i think i would prefer the less comfortable way " sometimes" not cos of the way he look to others but i think cos of why he is going to the extra effort to be "normal" look. cos its what goes on in him emotionally that im turned on by.
but i would never tell you that if you were my dude or would i expect you to wear them for my sace. cos i think saying something like that to a partner, boarders on emotional abuse.
if someone cares about you then they put your needs en front of there turn ons. but if you wanted my honest answer that would be it.
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Post by Enid on Mar 14, 2013 11:52:02 GMT -5
Hypothetically, and only considering how YOU feel, which would be your choice? How I feel, physically or mentally, is not a part of the question, so it doesn't help to say "Whatever makes you comfortable". That sounds considerate, but fails to answer the question. I'd actually go for comfortable not to be "considerate", but because it usually brings out confidence, and because I find it sexier. I like the attitude that comes out when the choice implies both being more comfortable but at the same time less "normal looking". I don't know, I'm mostly thinking of an amputee guy I knew, who had been brainwashed to think he looked better with the prosthetic on, but you could tell by his body language that he felt better without it. And I think it made him sexier. But he knew it made some people uncomfortable, and would actually ask his dates if they minded. Which I find is a very scary question, by the way. I would never want to be given that choice... it's not mine to make.
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Post by Valkyrja on Mar 14, 2013 14:00:44 GMT -5
I've been thinking about this question to see how to answer it; I've been asking myself what I would do in that case and reviewing my attitude when I was with friends with different types of disabilities. And I have come to the conclusion that about the case you are presenting and considering that my choice would be a para, I guess that the wheelchair would be something very difficult to hide! (if you want to hide it which is not my case) . And leaving aside the dev thing, I persolally believe that if you try to hide the visible part of someone's disability it is because you don't care about that person that much. (just my pov and hope it is understandable)
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simen
New Member
Posts: 13
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Post by simen on Mar 14, 2013 14:09:25 GMT -5
I agree with you. If you try to hide the disability you are not ready to be with the person/disabled or you don`t want to stand for your choices.
I can understand women who feel shy because they are with me because I`m a wheeler, but then the person/women don`t care enough about me.
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Post by lavly on Mar 14, 2013 14:14:32 GMT -5
Which I find is a very scary question, by the way. I would never want to be given that choice... it's not mine to make. totally cos it really has the power to be abusive. not just in an ab wheeler setting but in any relasanship, when you give your partner that much power over you. ie when a guy tell his girl what to wear all the time cos she might not be dressed to his liking and so on.
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Mar 14, 2013 18:18:19 GMT -5
It would appear as if my question was open to a lot of different interpretations. I wasn't thinking of any kind of "Put on a show", but more along the lines of this: I have different kinds of braces, and depending upon which ones I wear, they will be more obvious or less obvious. That would depend upon the amount the braces are visible, and how 'normal' my gait appears. When I dress for comfort, my braces are more obvious, and although I really don't care one way or another how I look, comfort is the choice. When I want to be less obvious, I am also less comfortable (physically). Hypothetically, and only considering how YOU feel, which would be your choice? How I feel, physically or mentally, is not a part of the question, so it doesn't help to say "Whatever makes you comfortable". That sounds considerate, but fails to answer the question. This question makes sense to me, maybe it's because I'm a CP guy, thus everything is out in the open. So naturally I think I would prefer a dev who felt empowered by being out with a guy with a more visual type of disability. (See Vancity,) that's what I'm looking for! ooo yeah! ;D And if there was anything that a dev wanted me to do, wear braces etc. I hope she would ask because I rather enjoy see a girl dev out. ;D Truthfully I wouldn't want to wear braces tho, because I think that would be rather uncomfortable. But I say u should never be afraid to ask no matter how crazy or selfish it might be. Not cutting my beard tho, not ever!!! lol
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Mar 14, 2013 18:19:07 GMT -5
OK, you're out with mr. Right, and he is disabled in a way that appeals to you. Would you want his disability to be more, or less visible? Everyone is different, so we shouldn't expect the same answer from everyone. If you are attracted to different things, does the answer depend upon the specific disability? I think I get it. In addition to thinking guys in chairs are particularly attractive... I definitely feel sexy, proud and confident when I'm out with a guy who is significantly disabled. Because I prefer a guy who requires extra assistance, and because that works for me, I feel most natural and flirty when I'm out with a more visibly disabled guy. Not shy at all!...if that's what the questions was getting at +1111
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Post by BA on Mar 14, 2013 19:56:20 GMT -5
My b/f of many yrs ago NEVER would wear shorts (he was a para). It could be 100 degrees out and it was jeans all the way. It took me over a year to convince him that I personally would love to see him in shorts not only for his comfort but b/c I thought he looked sexy in them. Now this was WAY before I ever heard the term devotee. In retrospect, I felt like lavly said "emotionally" stirred by the fact that he was so self-concious and I felt great when I knew it was me and my total love and turn on to his body that gave him the confidence to wear shorts in public. In the end he didn't get stared at any more than usual and he realized that he was A LOT more comfortable in the summer heat. I had a wonderful visual turn on and he was happy to be free of his jeans.
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