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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2013 18:02:53 GMT -5
If you was dating someone and living together...you had to move and they didnt want to move with you...they're making up different excuses every time you ask them to please go with you...What would you think? I'm no expert, but I'd think she didn't want to move with you.
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Post by Ximena on Jul 31, 2013 18:03:44 GMT -5
Sounds like a red flag to me. If they had a legitimate excuse, like a job they couldn't afford to give up, or family they couldn't be away from (like sick parents or something), then that's understandable. But if their reasons keep changing, that sounds to me like what they're really saying is, "I don't want to move."
Because if you're really in a relationship for the long-haul, you're willing to do things like move to be with that person.
That's what I'd say based on this hypothetical, without much detail, anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2013 18:24:10 GMT -5
Because if you're really in a relationship for the long-haul, you're willing to do things like move to be with that person. Can you call my ex and repeat that? lol Sorry, that may be a low blow but at least I can laugh about it now.
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Post by Ximena on Jul 31, 2013 18:25:52 GMT -5
Because if you're really in a relationship for the long-haul, you're willing to do things like move to be with that person. Can you call my ex and repeat that? lol Sorry, that may be a low blow but at least I can laugh about it now. lol. Sure! What's her #? LOL.
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wheelz1979
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Post by wheelz1979 on Jul 31, 2013 19:02:35 GMT -5
Sounds like a red flag to me. If they had a legitimate excuse, like a job they couldn't afford to give up, or family they couldn't be away from (like sick parents or something), then that's understandable. But if their reasons keep changing, that sounds to me like what they're really saying is, "I don't want to move." Because if you're really in a relationship for the long-haul, you're willing to do things like move to be with that person. That's what I'd say based on this hypothetical, without much detail, anyway. i agree...just wanted other peoples opinion about it so i'm not thinking i'm the a$$ in the situation
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Post by Emma on Jul 31, 2013 19:22:57 GMT -5
I'm confused what happened to the original post?
I'll agree with everyone else. There is some issue she is not telling you about. Take this as a chance to learn about how committed she truly is and get on with your life.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2013 19:31:59 GMT -5
Upon further reflection, I realize no one asked the most important question. Are you the mover or the movee? (that might not be a word but making shit up is part of my charm )
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wheelz1979
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Post by wheelz1979 on Jul 31, 2013 23:10:37 GMT -5
im the mover...its one of them kinda things where i have to move n thought in relationships...well real relationships if 1 committed person moves the other follows...but i guess that dont apply to my situation lol
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Post by rebecca on Aug 1, 2013 0:06:10 GMT -5
Well, it's got to go both ways. I have definitely moved to be with a partner, and will no doubt do it again - however, I wouldn't do it if it felt like I wasn't consulted in the process. Sure, sometimes there is really no good alternative to moving, but I'd want to know they had a better reason for going than I had for staying. I don't know the details of this situation, or what you have and haven't talked about, but is it possible she just doesn't want either of you to go, isn't sold on the idea that it's necessary, and is expressing it badly? I agree that making multiple excuses rather than having one good reason is a red flag, but it might be worth pushing for answer as to what's behind it.
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wheelz1979
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Post by wheelz1979 on Aug 1, 2013 0:30:56 GMT -5
I'm confused what happened to the original post? orig post kinda got ate when i hit delete...thought i was deleting the thing so i can edit and explain better but kinda ate the whole orig thing...im a dumbass sometimes when it comes to fixing post...n its a lot diff since last time i was on...sry for the confusion
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Aug 1, 2013 0:58:30 GMT -5
Because if you're really in a relationship for the long-haul, you're willing to do things like move to be with that person. Can you call my ex and repeat that? lol Sorry, that may be a low blow but at least I can laugh about it now. Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Aug 1, 2013 1:06:17 GMT -5
Anywhoo, it's pretty much like X said "if you're really in a relationship for the long-haul, you're willing to do things like move to be with that person." I tried and fought and cried alot longer then I should have. But there comes a point when u have to say. I'm just not worth it to that person, and or enough's enough. and try to move on.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2013 11:00:41 GMT -5
To me it would depend on if there was a good reason for you wanting to move.... if it was to just try a new place and it meant leaving family, friends, job.....I may have an issue with that.... unless it was decided together.
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wheelz1979
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Post by wheelz1979 on Aug 1, 2013 12:18:34 GMT -5
The reason for moving is more money and closer to my doctors...but mostly the more money thing
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2013 13:19:47 GMT -5
Seems like a good reason to me....people move with their spouses/SO's all the time due to work...
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