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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2013 20:13:57 GMT -5
Here is a new question for our wheeler/disabled guys on the board: it may be sensitive, so just reply in accordance with your level of comfort. How do you perceive your own body?
I have spina bifida. I stand 5ft10 (178 cm, IIRC). I use crutches. Back when I was a teen, I did wheelchair racing, and dibble dabbled in other adaptive sports. I wasn't the best outthere. I was, in fact, fairly bad. But I was quite fit. When I hit adulthood, I decided wheelchair racing was too cliche for me. Indeed, even hanging out with other disabled people was too cliche for me. So, my metabolism crashed while my appetite increased, and now I am 246 lbs when I should be 188. Even if I were still fit, spina bifida often gives a person a difficult body. Often skinny legs but not-so-skinny torso. So it makes fitting pants a difficult endeavor. That's a constant source of annoyance. So, I will say that I don't have the greatest body opinion ever.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2013 20:42:28 GMT -5
Hmm.. I'm new to this so for me this has been a real change. Going from someone that raced and ran 5 - 10 mi everyday... lifted almost everyday... went out dancing... flew helicopters... I was one to take very good care of my health... that's what it was about more than body image.. but the good health obviously had great side effects... Now when I I lift myself up and see a mirror near by I see a decently normal looking upper body (still have a decently muscular build) with super rail thin (what I call) holocaust legs... it hurts because my legs and feet were everything to me. They carried me to many different places... logged a lot of miles on these legs (on the ground and in the air)... met a lot of women that I loved and cared about by moving them right. I still go out with my friends a lot.. but I purposely avoid places where I know there will be salsa/bachata dancing. Hurts too much to see. Don't get me wrong... I'll just have to figure different ways to stay in shape and different ways to value my body. But for this being so new... you don't just change what you valued about yourself over night. So yes... this injury has affected the way I see my body. I hate everything about this injury. BUT... I still love this life... so I intend to live it as best I can... holocaust legs and all.
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Post by Pony on Sept 8, 2013 22:24:27 GMT -5
yah, I was athletic, too! It's a shock for a few years, learning to accept the new body. I'm a quad, so i really hate not having the good chest muscles i had, or coordinated hands. I'm proud of certain things, my strength to push...upper body still looks ok, but hate other things. but like you, it's the life i love, so I'll deal with it. Actually, i'm going to start working as a peer counsel for newly injured SCIs, so sure I'll be talking about this more...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2013 6:10:44 GMT -5
Although my disability is quite 'striking' physically, I was born this way so it's never bothered me one bit. Sure, it annoys me at times when there are certain things I can't, or couldn't join in, e.g. when I was at school, I could never join in with my friends when they played Football (Soccer to most of you), but as soon as I found disability sport, and namely wheelchair Basketball, I just didn't care at all anymore! Even compared to most people I've played Basketball against, I'm more physically disabled than them. I'm of a short stature which isn't exactly the best thing for Basketball, even in the wheelchair game, but I make up for it with speed and a mean outside shot. People don't really give a shit because most of them are disabled too, and have seen all kinds of different people wheeling in and out the doors. I do have a self-concious side though for damn sure. Aside from one girl which was nothing serious, all my ex-girlfriend's or girls I've been seeing have also been disabled. I touched upon this in another thread, but I'm not sure if I'm only with disabled girls because I worry about what an able-bodied female will think of me and my body, especially when I know they've been with able-bodied guys in the past. It holds me back sometimes, but hey ho. I've already got more confidence in myself after speaking to a few people here.
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nas
Full Member
Posts: 102
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by nas on Sept 9, 2013 8:21:05 GMT -5
I just want to thank all of you guys for your answers. Dee Dee started the thread, but it's something I'm really interested in and been wanting to ask for a while. Don't wanna go all feminist on you, but I really believe in the whole body-is-not-an-apology thing, so keep up your freakin' cool answers.
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Post by Pony on Sept 9, 2013 9:29:09 GMT -5
I do miss the power of sport, but I kind of look at my pushin, and all the things I do physically, as my sport. When I climb this ramp everyday that most quads could never pull off I feel 'athletic' again. Nas, I'm digging this thread, too, because it really gets to the MEAT of being disabled, especially anyone who had a great AB body, then suddenly being placed in a whole different vehicle...very strange in those first years!!
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Post by lavly on Sept 9, 2013 16:49:44 GMT -5
crazy how all these years of talking to guys with sci ... and after yrs of relaships with guys with sci ... and this self posaption still kills me. thank you for sharing... i hope with time ... with the help of other, this image will pass.
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ironsky
New Member
Posts: 31
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by ironsky on Sept 9, 2013 21:11:16 GMT -5
Some days are better than others. Confidence is a weird thing in my experience when it comes to my self image. On the days I feel weak or frustrated with my MD, I dislike my body. Then there are days when I feel energetic, fit, able and I can strut my stuff. I try to be cognizant of diet, staying hydrated, eating right, or getting the right amount of sleep or social activity. Then there are ways to make peace with my body and just know I'm a good, worthy person despite the lack of muscle.
On a semi-related note, clothes can play a part in this, and learning what fits well and looks good on me helps a bit. I can totally rock a tie and blazer with a well coordinated pocket square.
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Sept 10, 2013 0:02:08 GMT -5
I used to think I was truly disgusting. I mean literally, sometimes I would look at myself and think, yeah I'm screwed." and I'd just sit there, and try not to cry. But now? Not so much, thanks PD! I feel genuinely sexy now. Well at least when a girl tells me I am that is. Seeing myself in vids is still a bit much tho. as well as some pics. But for the most part me and my body image are on ok terms. I also have scoliosis, tho thankfully I have never seen it. I just went into have a scoliosis test and am praying I don't need surgery. I will be a blubbering mess if I do. ahh who will write my pd eulogy if I die???
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Sept 10, 2013 0:04:03 GMT -5
I used to think I was truly disgusting. I mean literally, sometimes I would look at myself and think, yeah I'm screwed." and I'd just sit there, and try not to cry. But now? Not so much, thanks PD! I feel genuinely sexy now. Well at least when a girl tells me I am that is. Seeing myself in vids is still a bit much tho. as well as some pics. But for the most part me and my body image are on ok terms. I also have scoliosis, tho thankfully I have never seen it. I just went into have a scoliosis test and am praying I don't need surgery. I will be a blubbering mess if I do. ahh who will write my pd eulogy if I die??? Ahh yes, Did I mention I'm going bald? Far worse than being crippled if u ask me lol
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Post by Kiran on Sept 10, 2013 2:11:36 GMT -5
I used to think I was truly disgusting. I mean literally, sometimes I would look at myself and think, yeah I'm screwed." and I'd just sit there, and try not to cry. But now? Not so much, thanks PD! I feel genuinely sexy now. Well at least when a girl tells me I am that is. Seeing myself in vids is still a bit much tho. as well as some pics. But for the most part me and my body image are on ok terms. I also have scoliosis, tho thankfully I have never seen it. I just went into have a scoliosis test and am praying I don't need surgery. I will be a blubbering mess if I do. ahh who will write my pd eulogy if I die??? Ahh yes, Did I mention I'm going bald? Far worse than being crippled if u ask me lol Disgusting? Not at all, A$$Y! Actually, I don't want to sound inconvenient but you are one of the nicest guys I've ever seen! I could lose myself in your beautiful blue eyes! I know that you are a straight guy, so I hope you consider my words as a compliment! In addition I also have scoliosis and, at least from what I see of your pictures in wheelchair, seems more subtle than my case. Regarding go bald, which of us will not be, right? P. S.: Although I have not known Triassic, having arrived here in PD after he was gone, I agree with him when he praises your hair! Even if you are going bald, remember that your hair should always be proud for you!
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Sept 10, 2013 2:45:14 GMT -5
Ahh yes, Did I mention I'm going bald? Far worse than being crippled if u ask me lol Disgusting? Not at all, A$$Y! Actually, I don't want to sound inconvenient but you are one of the nicest guys I've ever seen! I could lose myself in your beautiful blue eyes! I know that you are a straight guy, so I hope you consider my words as a compliment! In addition I also have scoliosis and, at least from what I see of your pictures in wheelchair, seems more subtle than my case. Regarding go bald, which of us will not be, right? P. S.: Although I have not known Triassic, having arrived here in PD after he was gone, I agree with him when he praises your hair! Even if you are going bald, remember that your hair should always be proud for you! dude I may be straight but that still means a lot thx. And I don't blame u, my eyes are fucking gold baby! lol But the bald thing is a fucking travesty and breaks my </3 every day lol
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Sept 10, 2013 2:47:34 GMT -5
Disgusting? Not at all, A$$Y! Actually, I don't want to sound inconvenient but you are one of the nicest guys I've ever seen! I could lose myself in your beautiful blue eyes! I know that you are a straight guy, so I hope you consider my words as a compliment! In addition I also have scoliosis and, at least from what I see of your pictures in wheelchair, seems more subtle than my case. Regarding go bald, which of us will not be, right? P. S.: Although I have not known Triassic, having arrived here in PD after he was gone, I agree with him when he praises your hair! Even if you are going bald, remember that your hair should always be proud for you! dude I may be straight but that still means a lot thx. And I don't blame u, my eyes are fucking gold baby! lol But the bald thing is a fucking travesty and breaks my </3 every day lol and ur tots pulling off that beard btw lol
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Post by Kiran on Sept 10, 2013 3:05:48 GMT -5
and ur tots pulling off that beard btw lol Not know if understood well, but I think your beard is also gorgeous! Perhaps you can do transplant beard to his head if your hair loss persists! LOL
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Post by lavly on Sept 10, 2013 3:30:09 GMT -5
ahh who will write my pd eulogy if I die??? i will and ill write a damn good one ... promise to make at lest one dude cry ... but better return the faver if i die first . and you better say nice shit (i do mean lie through your teeth) if you dont ill come back as a goast (im tryig to spell check goast and all im getting is goat... fuck that im not coming back as no goat) ,,, and yeah hurt you !!!! on a searouse note ... like others have said before me ... this is a great thread ... i truly aprisiatthe wheelers openness with devs. and the fact that you guys are like yeah my hair reseding is shit gives me hope that over all we are slowly not seeing disabilty with the degree of shame we use to see it with. i know we have along way to go.
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