|
Post by Emma on Dec 18, 2013 14:49:40 GMT -5
This thread is super interesting. Thanks for sharing everyone. I never realized that many guys who are disabled from a birth or a young age would chose not to have their disability. It all makes perfect sense, I just never thought about it before.
|
|
|
Post by Pony on Dec 18, 2013 15:24:46 GMT -5
yahhhh, there is such a BIG difference between those who've always been in chair and those that ended up in one, especially a good amount of life on feet. also, the level of injury, or limitation. For me, the contrast is GIANT….to go from having athletic body and playing music to suddenly not being able to open your hands is like day and night!! To me, a cure means being let out of prison, and my memories of how it feels to run a basketball court, or serve a tennis ball, or play piano will never leave me. I don't reflect daily…i'm very functional as i am, driving, pushing, blah blah, but if you're giving me a chance to have my body back, then there's no hesitation to go for it.
2 bodies, 1 life!
|
|
|
Post by doe on Dec 18, 2013 17:09:57 GMT -5
But just because someone would choose a cure doesn't mean they don't accept themselves and aren't living. Agreed. Equally, those who opt not to take or pursue the cure doesn't mean they don't want to grow or live life to the fullest. Which begs the question would you live your life the same way if a cure was not possible for whatever reason, if it didn't bring about the expected result or whilst you are waiting for the cure?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 17:43:07 GMT -5
I am living life right now as if a cure is not expected. I would not go for a cure because of my fear that it would not bring about the desired result. I.e., I might die as a result. So, therefore, I am not waiting for a cure.
If, for some reason, I were sure that a cure would work, and I were in line for a cure, I would certainly be thinking about the job market. Beyond that, as a soccer fan, I might look into joining a rec soccer team. At 38, it's too late to go pro.
If that scenario were happening and I were around 14, I'd be discussing joining a youth soccer club with my parents, with a hopeful eye on a college scholarship (probably not NCAA Div. I, but maybe Div 2 or NAIA). Cross country would be good on a secondary level as well.
|
|
|
Post by matisse on Dec 18, 2013 18:38:06 GMT -5
Equally, those who opt not to take or pursue the cure doesn't mean they don't want to grow or live life to the fullest. I have to say I find it very difficult to accept this. I completely understand not going for a cure that could have side effects or a bad outcome, but in the absence of such a downside, I equate not wanting a cure with complacency, fear, and lack of ambition. I mean, we're not talking about something like a 10% boost in brain power or strength, this world is made for the AB and from a simple mobility standpoint being a wheeler imposes all sorts of barriers. And then there's also the health issues that being a wheeler accelerates. I just don't get it, and given that this is a dev board, I have to call BS on supposedly not wanting a downside-free cure. Which begs the question would you live your life the same way if a cure was not possible for whatever reason, if it didn't bring about the expected result or whilst you are waiting for the cure? Most wheelers I have met do not believe they will ever be cured, and proceed with life on that assumption. That's certainly what I do. I have heard of hard-core cure types on some message boards, but by coincidence I was just never part of those boards.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 20:51:53 GMT -5
But just because someone would choose a cure doesn't mean they don't accept themselves and aren't living. Agreed. Equally, those who opt not to take or pursue the cure doesn't mean they don't want to grow or live life to the fullest. Which begs the question would you live your life the same way if a cure was not possible for whatever reason, if it didn't bring about the expected result or whilst you are waiting for the cure? Right now a cure is NOT possible. Now they are doing some amazing research in California with bypassing the damaged portion of the spinal cord. AND they are doing some amazing research with Schwan cells in Florida AND embryonic stem cells in Switzerland… but those are all in their infancy. Those are at least another 15 to 20 years off… and even if they do DO something it won't ever fix everything. NOT in our life time. SO… I am continuing to live life to its fullest. I will always miss what I was… doesn't mean I can't become better in a different way. You can never control everything that life throws your way. You can always control how you react to it. I'm not sure I agree that those that wouldn't accept a cure are wanting to live life to its fullest. When you place an -est at the end of full… you are saying most full… as in as many activities and experiences THE MOST… you can't quite say you are living the fullest life you possibly can if there is a cure out there and you are choosing not to undergo it. Just shows that you are satisfied with the way things are and are living the fullest life IN that condition… I know it sounds like semantics but the words we choose to use are important. Again I'll go back to my example… let's say I never suffered this injury… and there was a surgery that could make humans breath under water. No risk… just enhancement and opening new worlds and new doors. Could I very well say that I was living the fullest life possible… I don't think so. Would that mean I was living the fullest life possible as someone that chose not to have that surgery… yes most definitely. Again though… in that specific example we are talking about an enhancement from the norm. From what we humans were meant to work as. I will never know what it is like to have had this injury since birth. I consider myself lucky to have had so much of my life under my belt on my feet… and man did I live taking advantage of my feet and legs… That's why my example could be useful in this discussion. Lets say it was the norm for humans to be able to fly or breath under water… although I was born without the ability to do so. So I learned to be faster with my feet… run further on my feet… endure more that the average human didn't have to. This eventually became essential to my identity. I was known as the boy that couldn't fly BUT more so I was known as the runner. It was a source of pride for me… and then… all of a sudden they figured a way to make me fly. Would I be hesitant… I imagine so. It's human nature to hold on to what we identify as essentially "me". Could I be blamed for not wanting it.. to hold onto what made me (in my mind) me… of course not. So I wouldn't blame anyone that would want to hold onto that identity. Part of me would feel sorry for them though (this is not meant to insult.. just being honest). Because they could take that same character strength that they gained from that identity and realize that it's not tied up with their "disability" and take that to the skies… or to the track in real world terms. At the end of the day we all have to make decisions that are best for us. It's great to hope and dream. But the true measure of a man is how he reacts to the hand he was dealt AND how proactive he is in making his life the best he or she can make it (regardless of the situation)
|
|
|
Post by mike on Dec 19, 2013 1:31:41 GMT -5
feetgearsnrotor,
I think we're on the same wavelength here: people who BECAME disabled after living normally are much more likely to want to revert to their A/B state, whereas people who were born disabled are less likely to feel that becoming "normal" is necessarily a good plan. I believe it also is related to the degree of impairment. People who are quadriplegic are vastly more impaired (therefore motivated to desire change) than people like me, who although disabled are only slightly limited in our activities.
Our self-image is one factor in the equation, and the other is the degree to which our disability limits us. Both are specific to the individual, and it's my opinion that sweeping statements (such as the ones made by Matisse) don't account for these factors.
|
|
|
Post by Corey on Dec 19, 2013 2:26:54 GMT -5
I completely understand not going for a cure that could have side effects or a bad outcome, but in the absence of such a downside, I equate not wanting a cure with complacency, fear, and lack of ambition. You could say the same thing about people who DO want a cure. Isnt it kind of like taking the easy way out? Dont you like a challenge? How many 'ambitious' people do you know that take short cuts and run away from adversity? And you yourself cited health concerns related to disability as a motivation for taking a cure. How is that not fear? I mean, I see where you are coming from I just dont agree with you at all. People who dont want a cure are not just people who are resigned to living in a body they are discontent with. Its more like, I have been disabled for so long that its become who I am. And I am grateful for having this unique perspective on life that most people will never have, that has taught me so much, that has helped me feel so much empathy for others, and I want to keep it forever.
|
|
|
Post by darthoso on Dec 19, 2013 2:51:14 GMT -5
I completely understand not going for a cure that could have side effects or a bad outcome, but in the absence of such a downside, I equate not wanting a cure with complacency, fear, and lack of ambition. You could say the same thing about people who DO want a cure. Isnt it kind of like taking the easy way out? Dont you like a challenge? How many 'ambitious' people do you know that take short cuts and run away from adversity? And you yourself cited health concerns related to disability as a motivation for taking a cure. How is that not fear? I mean, I see where you are coming from I just dont agree with you at all. People who dont want a cure are not just people who are resigned to living in a body they are discontent with. Its more like, I have been disabled for so long that its become who I am. And I am grateful for having this unique perspective on life that most people will never have, that has taught me so much, that has helped me feel so much empathy for others, and I want to keep it forever. I get that but I guess why limit yourself to one path in life? You've already gained the perspective, you aren't going to lose it by suddenly becoming AB. You have no idea what you might discover (for better or worse) by taking that path. I don't see it as easy way out or cheating, I see it as exploring new opportunity.
|
|
|
Post by matisse on Dec 19, 2013 11:26:48 GMT -5
You could say the same thing about people who DO want a cure. Isnt it kind of like taking the easy way out? Dont you like a challenge? "I love a challenge so I am going to go through life in a wheelchair!" Sorry Fuzz, that just doesn't track for me. Seems more like intentionally putting up roadblocks, rather than working hard to overcome them. And you yourself cited health concerns related to disability as a motivation for taking a cure. How is that not fear? Yes, it is fear. Fear of declining health. Compare that to fear of better health, fear of being able to walk....... Its more like, I have been disabled for so long that its become who I am. And I am grateful for having this unique perspective on life that most people will never have, that has taught me so much, that has helped me feel so much empathy for others, and I want to keep it forever. Ok, I get this, it is just surprising. You're basically saying you're a better person due to the disability, and you'll lose that if you become AB.
|
|
|
Post by jturk on Dec 19, 2013 14:27:07 GMT -5
This is a very fascinating debate because it really highlights the nuanced differences between personalities and different individuals. Even with a cure that worked 100%, say to cure muscular dystrophy like I have, very likely wouldn't be an easy way out. Dealing with the condition would only solve part of the problem, it would take years of likely very painful and strenuous rehab to build my body back up to the functionality I had before my condition got to this point. I feel like I understand both positions. For me personally I said I would take it because it's not as if I can't handle the challenges that I currently face, and I've gained a lot of valuable perspective which I would never lose from that type of change. But at the same time I find myself sometimes wishing I could grab some gear and a backpack and just go. Or I would love to be able to just drive down to the airport and pick a flight and go. I have had a desire to truly explore the world and find authentic and unique experiences, without the ability to be spontaneous it's just something I simply cannot do.
I wouldn't give up the lessons I've learned and the understanding I've gained about life from my experiences for anything. But I would be lying to myself if I said that there was a way to do many of the things I want to do in my current physical state. I want to be a stagehand, a musician, a cook, a pilot, an explorer, a stage rigger (involves climbing), a hiker etc., these are things I would love to experience but see no way to do so without considerably more expense and hardship then I would if I was AB. I have had to come to terms with the fact that many of these things will never happen for me unless something drastic about my physiological condition changes.
Sure I like a challenge, but I wouldn't feel like I took the "easy way out" just by accepting what would be an incredible gift from the world of having my body back. I wouldn't bat an eye or feel like I did anything untrue to myself by taking that chance. It's a great hypothetical question which is clearly fraught with tremendous real emotion. Whatever life throws at me I know I will do whatever it takes, life is challenging enough without a substantial disability but if having this extra challenge is what I'm supposed to have then I'll accept it. All the same if there was a way to get my strength back you can be sure I will do everything it takes to have that chance as well.
|
|
|
Post by Pony on Dec 19, 2013 17:02:40 GMT -5
Yessss Mike….'level of impairment' means a LOT!!! If i was a para, it might make me think different. But as a c5c6 quad after living as AB…GIVE ME DA CURE!!
|
|
cripple farmboy
Full Member
banned
Posts: 214
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
|
Post by cripple farmboy on Dec 21, 2013 9:58:12 GMT -5
If it was 100% cure and i could be 100% AB again and be able to play sports and what not then I would take it without hesitation. Knowing what i know now and being able to apply that to a perfectly good working body I would be epic. Being disabled is 0% fun. It does have its fun moments but it fucking sucks being disabled.
I was recently at a disability banquet and they awarded this girl for something i don't remember what it was but during her speech she said she was glad she was disabled and it took everything in me no laugh and smack the shit out of her. I dont want anyone to be disabled with anything and for a person to be glad they are disabled is just about the dumbest thing i have ever heard of in my life.
|
|
|
Post by JW on Aug 7, 2014 12:53:51 GMT -5
Absolutely. Without hesitation. 100% yes!!!! I was able bodied until I was 22 and the vast majority of my happy memories are from before my accident. I've been in the chair for 16 years, but would jump at the chance of being able to jump at the chance! Lol!
|
|
|
Post by happyface2013 on Aug 7, 2014 13:09:01 GMT -5
Definitely yes. I have arthrogryposis which is congenital. It has shaped who I am but I would love to be able to get up in the morning or go to the toilet myself. Not to mind playing sports and being able to drive.
|
|