melita
Full Member
RIP
Posts: 141
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Divorced
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Post by melita on Aug 4, 2014 17:23:36 GMT -5
Hi Orchid, I spent 3 years in Greece not as a tourist, and can't seem to remember seeing any wheeler there. I wonder how Greek society treats disabilities now, as I suppose you do go there quite often. I'm asking you this because it's maybe similar to where I live.
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Post by orchid on Aug 4, 2014 18:14:24 GMT -5
Hi Orchid, I spent 3 years in Greece not as a tourist, and can't seem to remember seeing any wheeler there. I wonder how Greek society treats disabilities now, as I suppose you do go there quite often. I'm asking you this because it's maybe similar to where I live. Hi Melita, Yeah not a common site, I have seen several but I think it was just special circumstances. Having said that I have lived in Belgium for 5 years and cannot say that there is a huge difference in the numbers of wheelers I have seen or accessibility. Again that is just my experience so maybe no 100% accurate I havent lived in Greece since I was 18 but I guess in terms of perceptions things are not the greatest. In terms of facilities things are much much better. I suppose it just takes time. And the younger people definitely have a different attitude, at least judging from my friends. Recently, we've also have [more] politicians/candidates with disabilities. So that is positive i suppose in some ways in terms of perhaps generating better understanding more informed discussions on disability.
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Post by didi on Aug 8, 2014 4:58:24 GMT -5
My biggest pet peeve is people assuming that I - as a dev - am perfectly fine with everything that comes along with the disability.
I can't sit next to my boyfriend when I am watching a soccer match in the stadium? I have to search extra long and extra carefully for vacation spots only to have to pay a shitload more money than people who don't need an accessible hotel/vacation house? I am going sailing and my boyfriend can't join me because the boat is not accessible?
No problem?!
I disagree. It is a "problem" for me - I don't like it. That doesn't mean I want my boyfriend and his disability to change or that I love him any less. It only means: It sucks. And I would like that me saying "IT SUCKS" is just as reasonable and okay as it is for my boyfriend to say "IT SUCKS". I don't want to hear the "but you choose a disabled boyfriend so that's what you have to live with" reasoning.
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Post by Ath on Aug 8, 2014 6:14:13 GMT -5
I agree!
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Post by Emma on Aug 13, 2014 23:56:16 GMT -5
I hear you TC! I don't have the same issues because well my family isn't that adventurous and I don't have local friends yet since we just moved t a new city but yeah I can see it happening in the future. But I do think there have been situations where people we were friends with didn't invite us because they knew it wasn't accessible. I remember a birthday party my husbands friend invited up to that was in a 2nd floor bar. I wanted to go but knew he couldn't get there so we skipped out. it was annoying and frustrating for me but my husband didn't want to go so didn't care. I just hate thinking that we aren't invited places because people know its not accessible. Maybe I'm giving them too much credit. I think its good your friends still invite you!
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Post by Emma on Aug 14, 2014 10:30:34 GMT -5
It's not just stairs. Some of the things that have come up for us include: narrow doorways, tiny bathrooms, crowded standing only parties/bars, furniture placement and snow.
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Post by Ath on Aug 14, 2014 11:16:50 GMT -5
they dropped him. Rebroke his back, and turned into a major nightmare. So not doing that again! I can't blame him. Ouch!
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Post by Maurine on Nov 24, 2014 6:14:19 GMT -5
Some weeks ago there was an incident that was a classical example of assumptions people make. My bf and I were outside, buying groceries for lunch. When we came across a pharmacy, I went inside to buy pills to ease my menstrual cramps, while my bf was waiting outside. The young woman who was supposed to sell them to me, looked at me with befuddlement. She asked for whom I was buying them and seemed convinced that I was ordering the wrong pills. I don't look anything like a man, so I was confused that she considered it unlikely that they were for me. Only when we were back home it dawned on me that she had assumed I was intending to buy medicine for my bf, although he had been waiting outside. Since he visibly had some "medical condition", namely SCI, in her head it had to be him who needed something from a pharmacy. When I ordered something of use to women only, she thought I must have confused the name for the pills. Why would I have a wheeler accompany me when going to the pharmacy except for buying his medicine? She didn't recognise him as any AB partner going for a walk with his gf/wife.
I have been asked by strangers if I am my bf's sister or "helper". I think it happened only twice and both who asked clearly were total idiots, but it still sucks. I don't mind kissing my bf in public at all, but it sucks that we have to do this if we want to be identified as a couple by everyone. It's not the biggest problem in the world, but it's a bit sad.
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