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Post by matisse on Dec 12, 2014 14:11:25 GMT -5
The physical is generally a lot less important to women than men, so given your list of good qualities, I have to wonder what's going on? This right here is a total myth. When I look around my friends, exes, relatives and the replies in this very thread, nothing at all indicates that what you state is a fact. Assuming that the "physical" is less important to women is like assuming sex is less important to women. Yeah I am sure Donald Trump's latest wife thought he was so hot when she first met him...... ;-) Not sure what you're getting at, but what I meant is expressed in an number of dev posts on this thread--women can find a much wider variety of physical traits attractive because they get integrated with the personality. A friend of mine in college was kind of unattractive, and short, but he always had cute girlfriends. He just had "game." I'm not sure there is a woman equivalent to "game?" An unattractive women who still seems to be able to snag a bunch of good looking (or rich/famous/etc) guys? Guys usually go for the same usual physical type.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 14:23:40 GMT -5
I read an article about this cool, new invention in a magazine. I think it was called gum? Something like that, anyway. I'll see if I can find it. Gum is to bad breath what perfume is to a smelly arm-pit. Not working. I have this über-smart thing. It is called a tooth-brush. Anyway, hijack over. Back to the OQ. Also tongue scrapers. The majority of bad breath comes from the tongue
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Post by hanabanana on Dec 12, 2014 16:02:00 GMT -5
But I looooove Korean barbecue. I do not know what that is, but it sounds like something with four legs and its back pointing upwards, that I do not want to hear about. Well, B4I, it is either that or having the chance of scooping up a dev that you may run into. Tough choice :-D B-but it'ssogood
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Post by MotorcycleCrash on Dec 12, 2014 16:13:49 GMT -5
dirty mouth? Clean it up with orbit
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hungryquad
Junior Member
Taken by: bowlergrl0524
Posts: 64
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by hungryquad on Jan 10, 2015 12:37:11 GMT -5
For me, physical attraction is necessary but not sufficient. I continue to struggle with this topic, there's totally a guy in my life who is really nice but who I'm just not attracted to. It's past the point of just neutral, he really doesn't put any effort into his appearance at all so it's actively a turn off. Despite my mother's frequent protestations (why don't you like the nice guys) I just can't get there. Part of the trouble is, hot guys (you know who you are) don't have to be as nice, because you'll put up with more shit from a guy you're really attracted to than a guy who you're kinda in the middle about. I do think it's not so much about conventional attractiveness as it is about whatever lights your particular fire. I have totally been with guys who aren't conventionally hot but who really did it for me, I have a soft spot for the scrawny, bookish type (talk nerdy to me). I also think that if there's at least a little spark in the beginning that can grow over time, with constancy. But if there isn't anything there, in my experience, it won't suddenly appear. The argument I always hear is that attractiveness always fades over time. True to a point, our dance group got hired to perform at a 50th anniversary, and 70 years does make a great equalizer. That said, I'd like to think I'll have many years of having sex with Mr. Lucky before our golden years, and I'd like to not have to grin and bear it in the meantime. Long story short, it definitely matters, but I continue to hope that you don't have to choose looks or personality, and that you, too, MNG, will find the total package. Then again, I'm kinda famous for unreasonable expectations. SOOOOO much like!!! I hear over and over again how looks don't matter. LOOKS MATTER!!!! But the good news is... we all like different looks. I think my husband is sexy as hell. I mean... his ARMS, tho... But I also have had devs tell me they don't think he's all that attractive. *shrug* One guy on here used to get a lot of traction with the ladies... until he revealed his personality... and I never got what the big deal was. He's just not attractive in any way that I define attractive. So... to each their own. But... in order for a relationship to bloom and grow, there must be some spark of attraction from the beginning, in my humble opinion. Not everyone agrees with me, and that's fine. But when I was dating, if there was no chemistry up front, then I just didn't pursue it. Plenty of fish in the sea, even hot, disabled fish. But no matter how much I was attracted initially, if the guy wasn't ALSO loaded with the personality I like... then the thing died quick, too. I was picky. I AM picky. I am also a bitch. But I am a happily married bitch, and if it can happen to me, it can happen to you! LOL So, I guess I haven't said anything earth shattering here, but what gets repeated ALL THE TIME: BEEEE YOURSELF. If you're not traditionally good looking, at least be clean, for God's sake. If you don't have a sparkling wit, at least don't try to be something you are not. Someone is out there. I do hope so, if not then what is the point?
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hungryquad
Junior Member
Taken by: bowlergrl0524
Posts: 64
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by hungryquad on Jan 10, 2015 12:42:09 GMT -5
It's not garlic. I lurve garlic and have been known to lay it on so thick that it burns a little. (Wards off colds and vampires, don'cha know) It's your inherent smell. The one you have at the end of the day. Or maybe aftershave/cologne. (You can totally blame my dad for that business. Evolution/biology for the inherent smell thing.) I always said that garlic/onion should be a cologne/perfume
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lacey
Junior Member
Posts: 86
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Post by lacey on Jan 10, 2015 12:50:55 GMT -5
Brains, personality, wit, humour, with a dash of wickedness will win over the purely physical everytime. Mind you that's provided they have some sort of disability. I am completely unable to sustain long term emotional or physical attraction to non-disabled men, so I've stopped trying.
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Post by Hopper on Jan 10, 2015 13:06:15 GMT -5
Whenever dating, I've always tried to make my personalty and humour stand out, due to feeling insecure about my illness when it comes to 'that' aspect.
In terms of my looks? Well, I like my eyes I suppose.
When it comes to girls, a healthy balance of looks over personality is ideal but then again, you never know who you'll fall for.
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Post by Hopper on Jan 10, 2015 13:06:50 GMT -5
Whenever dating, I've always tried to make my personalty and humour stand out, due to feeling insecure about my illness when it comes to 'that' aspect. In terms of my looks? Well, I like my eyes I suppose. When it comes to girls, a healthy balance of looks and personality is ideal but then again, you never know who you'll fall for.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2015 13:46:08 GMT -5
For me, physical attraction is necessary but not sufficient. I continue to struggle with this topic, there's totally a guy in my life who is really nice but who I'm just not attracted to. It's past the point of just neutral, he really doesn't put any effort into his appearance at all so it's actively a turn off. Despite my mother's frequent protestations (why don't you like the nice guys) I just can't get there. Part of the trouble is, hot guys (you know who you are) don't have to be as nice, because you'll put up with more shit from a guy you're really attracted to than a guy who you're kinda in the middle about. I do think it's not so much about conventional attractiveness as it is about whatever lights your particular fire. I have totally been with guys who aren't conventionally hot but who really did it for me, I have a soft spot for the scrawny, bookish type (talk nerdy to me). I also think that if there's at least a little spark in the beginning that can grow over time, with constancy. But if there isn't anything there, in my experience, it won't suddenly appear. The argument I always hear is that attractiveness always fades over time. True to a point, our dance group got hired to perform at a 50th anniversary, and 70 years does make a great equalizer. That said, I'd like to think I'll have many years of having sex with Mr. Lucky before our golden years, and I'd like to not have to grin and bear it in the meantime. Long story short, it definitely matters, but I continue to hope that you don't have to choose looks or personality, and that you, too, MNG, will find the total package. Then again, I'm kinda famous for unreasonable expectations. AGREED! Here's to unreasonable expectations and seeing them fulfilled else being the lone aloof genius that has a string of admirers that walks in and out that door. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain
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secrets9
New Member
Posts: 20
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by secrets9 on Jan 13, 2015 19:10:52 GMT -5
I totally agree with what's been posted--especially AlrightyAphrodite 's comment that attractiveness alone is not sufficient. I'd just like to add that in my experience, once a guy's personality has won my heart--I find that I'm less apt to notice physical flaws. I don't know if that makes sense...but it just seems that if I didn't love an aspect of a guy--that once I got to know him, that aspect wouldn't matter as much? I think even if I wasn't super attracted to a guy, I'd give him a chance to be friends (with that on the table, of course...) and see if he could win me over.
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Post by Hopper on Jan 14, 2015 23:32:33 GMT -5
I totally agree with what's been posted--especially AlrightyAphrodite 's comment that attractiveness alone is not sufficient. I'd just like to add that in my experience, once a guy's personality has won my heart--I find that I'm less apt to notice physical flaws. I don't know if that makes sense...but it just seems that if I didn't love an aspect of a guy--that once I got to know him, that aspect wouldn't matter as much? I think even if I wasn't super attracted to a guy, I'd give him a chance to be friends (with that on the table, of course...) and see if he could win me over. Sounds plausible to me, and giving a guy a chance is good, fair approach. In experience, girls just didn't give certain things time and they just wern't able to get used to the twitching, spasms or other quirks. In a way it's rather sad, and some would say a little shallow. Patience is the key to closed doors in a relationship.
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Post by FlyingBert on Jan 15, 2015 13:12:31 GMT -5
No way, is 100% personality for me. Any physical attraction just goes to hell if she's a kind of Paris Hilton minded. On the other side, girls I know seem to be opposite. I hear a thousand times "Erick you are a dream, anyone would be happy to be your love" But...
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Jan 15, 2015 13:24:29 GMT -5
I'd just like to add that in my experience, once a guy's personality has won my heart--I find that I'm less apt to notice physical flaws. I don't know if that makes sense...but it just seems that if I didn't love an aspect of a guy--that once I got to know him, that aspect wouldn't matter as much? I think even if I wasn't super attracted to a guy, I'd give him a chance to be friends (with that on the table, of course...) and see if he could win me over. For me, it sadly never worked that way. I tried to give my nice guys a chance and the more I tried, the more turned off I was. Once someone's friendzoned, they stay friendzoned. I must admit I can totally relate. Before I started dating my ex I had him friend zoned because I really liked him for his character and humor but I just didn't feel attracted to him physically. Then, when he told me he liked me at first I told him I only liked him as a friend but soon began thinking about how it would be if we started a relationship. So then one night we kissed at a party and then a couple of days later he asked me out and I thought I'd give it a shot. Little did I know it would end up in a very messy two year long relationship. I know that he always almost worshiped me and also many times he just stayed with me because of my looks, because sometimes I was a total bitch (because of many reasons I now feel ashamed of). So yeah, I tried and maybe I'd even try it again because I also think I'm wiser now and I think I wouldn't f**k up that bad again. But honestly, I think looks matter. At least in some way they do. Luckily beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
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