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Post by kivic on Feb 12, 2015 10:16:36 GMT -5
(and probably why I avoided this thread because I try to tame the devothrill in this situation), This is something I utilize A LOT: The Taming of the Thrill. I often wonder what everyone else does too? Do you feel you have to keep control over your devness or it controls you?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2015 10:26:13 GMT -5
Actually, I generally don't see the devness as a problem. It just happens that, in his case, I've been besotted since I met him a decade ago, and the dev-factor that was added in later does not help. It's never been the right place or time for us, and it's hard enough to keep the lovelorn feelings at bay as it is sometimes.
That said, he knows I'm a dev, and I'm sure he's realized there are certain things that are going to inevitably get me riled up, but we've been so close for so long that I've found other outlets for them. For instance, he's just had to start wearing an eyepatch in the past two years, so I'm always on the look-out for really weird ones, and I have a few designs floating around in my brain that are tailored to the crazy person he is.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2015 10:47:48 GMT -5
Hey Shanzi! Sorry for the belated reply, I haven't had much time to browse in the past few days so only saw this now. I appreciate you posting and thanks for the feedback I suppose every now and then the private nature of the things discussed here kind of hits us like a sack of bricks - a lurker may well think writing as openly as people on this board do takes no effort whatsoever, this is definitely not always the case, as you've thankfully pointed out! I'm cool with sharing pretty much everything nowadays, but back in the day I'd have been very, very nervous to retell my own thoughts, feelings and experiences. I'd share up to a certain level, but I felt like telling someone else in any kind of depth would somehow make the experience less personal, less special or even ultimately less arousing. The Dragonlance novels ring a bell. (There was a time I'd plough through anything fantasy, so that's why I think I've heard the name.) Do you know TV Tropes? I might have seen a reference to that character (because he rings a bell, too) in some listing. (TVTropes has an exhaustive list of TV shows, movies and books which have disabled characters, I use it as a reference sometimes to find new stuff. I'll have to look into that series some more, now! But most importantly, it's very cool to hear from someone else who's experienced being turned on (or at least fascinated) by a chronic illness. What you said definitely rings a bell. I never read a book about a character with epilepsy, but I remember being very big on it for a while in my teenage years too - I used to write quite a few stories featuring epileptic guys. But what you wrote about the appeal definitely resonates. I'm also very sorry to hear that about your friend (I too have had a friend die of a terminal illness, but she was female), but I get what you're saying. This idea of certain people having a more detailed knowledge of someone's health is definitely arousing because of the high level of intimacy involved and, well, a kind of better vantage point on the entire thing I suppose. This aware of personal vulnerabilities thing seems to be something all of us have in common, which upon further reflection I think is quite natural. After all, it's one of the surefire signs that one is "in someone else's inner circle" which is an integral part of meaningful bonding, so I could see why it has such great appeal for us. And, I would think, is yet another bit of proof for the fact that being a dev is far, far more than a superficial fetish, it's too holistic an appreciation. May I ask when you got into guys in chairs, and do you have other disability preferences anymore, nowadays? You know, I hadn't even thought about Dragonlance being on there, but it very well might be! I'm sure I would have been just as into sci-fi and fantasy that age in any case, but those books and particularly that character really reeled me in on so many levels. I was just about to hit puberty, so of course it did it for me on a sexual level, but it also gave my creativity a jumpstart, and it's where I really started realizing that compassion and empathy were huge parts of my personality. I knew, even if I didn't internalize, that I was attracted to PWDs since I was... I want to say 6 or 7. Guys (and girls) in chairs have always seemed to be at the top for me on a physical level, but then, on an emotional level, I would have to say chronic illness and higher levels of disability have always hooked me more. But then (isn't there always a "but?"), I can and do appreciate pretty much any disability.
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Post by Maurine on Feb 12, 2015 15:05:46 GMT -5
(and probably why I avoided this thread because I try to tame the devothrill in this situation), This is something I utilize A LOT: The Taming of the Thrill. I often wonder what everyone else does too? Do you feel you have to keep control over your devness or it controls you? I've never tried to tame my devness. I enjoy and long for dev thrills.
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Post by kivic on Feb 12, 2015 16:12:43 GMT -5
When it's within a safe outlet, I enjoy the devride. It's when it becomes obsessive and you allow yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do because of it that it needs taming. I like to think that I have it on a leash and don't allow it to rule me.
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Post by alexa2010 on Feb 13, 2015 2:35:36 GMT -5
Hi gals I just want to say that I love this thread and want to thank you all for your openness. I ignored it first. Particularly because I'm a diabetic myself. I have no dev feelings related to any chronic illness myself but like the way the discussion went.
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1nfused
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Post by 1nfused on Feb 14, 2015 13:24:28 GMT -5
You know, I hadn't even thought about Dragonlance being on there, but it very well might be! I'm sure I would have been just as into sci-fi and fantasy that age in any case, but those books and particularly that character really reeled me in on so many levels. I was just about to hit puberty, so of course it did it for me on a sexual level, but it also gave my creativity a jumpstart, and it's where I really started realizing that compassion and empathy were huge parts of my personality. I knew, even if I didn't internalize, that I was attracted to PWDs since I was... I want to say 6 or 7. Guys (and girls) in chairs have always seemed to be at the top for me on a physical level, but then, on an emotional level, I would have to say chronic illness and higher levels of disability have always hooked me more. But then (isn't there always a "but?"), I can and do appreciate pretty much any disability. You mentioned it jumpstarting your creativitiy - could you expand on that? Do you enjoy writing dev fiction, or express your devness in other creative ways? I also love this distinction that you mentioned about an "emotional" and "physical" split. It's a distinction I haven't seen examined in any amount of detail before, so I'd love to hear more. As for me personally, I can't say I've made that distinction between different disabilities, though the entire topic of disability / illness has become an emotional topic for me as a result of my preference - this manifested in the reading of a lot of disability advocacy literature, for example. There have always been disabilities I was more prone to "getting off to" sexually, and others which lent themselves more to daydreaming and making up stories centering around a character with said disability, so that's one kind of distinction I sometimes make.
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1nfused
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Post by 1nfused on Feb 14, 2015 13:33:41 GMT -5
Hi gals I just want to say that I love this thread and want to thank you all for your openness. I ignored it first. Particularly because I'm a diabetic myself. I have no dev feelings related to any chronic illness myself but like the way the discussion went. Hey there alexa2010, I too have been enjoying the discussion here thusfar, and I even aquainted with more than one person who has experience with this kind of devoteeism. Thank you for stopping by and letting us know, totally appreciated. As for me I try to be tactful and (mostly) productive, and I'm happy to know you think that we've all approached this in an acceptable way. @all: I'm still always open for more stories, ideas and confessions, be they over PM or in this thread. Mostly though, I'd love to see more people in this thread because I now know that I'm definitely not the only one who has noticed that chronic illnesses can be sexy, I've also noticed that we chronic illness devs (and / or partial chronic illness devs) can definitely be a shy bunch!
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1nfused
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Posts: 31
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Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by 1nfused on Feb 14, 2015 13:39:21 GMT -5
It's when it becomes obsessive and you allow yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do because of it that it needs taming. I'm too curious for my own good, but i'd love some examples! I'm wondering if - even on this board - there's a level of percieved "decency" that we dare not violate. I suggest we start violating stuff a little in the name of openness and the sharing of experiences. If I had stories of my own to contribute to this subject, I definitely would. Think I've been a tame one in that regard though - my devness never needed any taming because - objectively - it's always been quite boring.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2015 0:34:54 GMT -5
You mentioned it jumpstarting your creativitiy - could you expand on that? Do you enjoy writing dev fiction, or express your devness in other creative ways? I also love this distinction that you mentioned about an "emotional" and "physical" split. It's a distinction I haven't seen examined in any amount of detail before, so I'd love to hear more. As for me personally, I can't say I've made that distinction between different disabilities, though the entire topic of disability / illness has become an emotional topic for me as a result of my preference - this manifested in the reading of a lot of disability advocacy literature, for example. There have always been disabilities I was more prone to "getting off to" sexually, and others which lent themselves more to daydreaming and making up stories centering around a character with said disability, so that's one kind of distinction I sometimes make. I've written a ton of dev fiction, though none of it's really ever been in any sort of presentable form. Honestly, I probably collect fiction like most people do porn. The written word has always won out over photography, film or other visual arts for me. It probably has to do with being raised by a freelance editor and an English professor, heh. I come up with characters all the time. At one point, my best friend and I had taken to roleplaying fantasy storylines through IMs. Somehow, we ended up primarily playing characters with disabilities and those in their circles... terribly nerdy, but I did bring her out of the dev closet with that one, which was a very good surprise. I find that the attraction can be one or the other, or a mix to varying degrees. Like with most things, a heavy mix of both is really the dream, right? For me, the best feeling in the world is that feeling of utter breathlessness I get sometimes, when it all just seems to click in regards to someone (or a certain character, for instance) being physically appealing in just a certain way, and having a personality that compliments that in a wonderful manner. I'm much more likely to become very attracted to someone who might not necessarily by "hot" by the usual aesthetic standards (though I wouldn't complain ), but who's emotionally mature but a bit vulnerable, optimistic, diplomatic, well-versed, etc., because those traits earn more than just my superficial regard. Maybe the physical vulnerability associated with chronic illness and such makes opening up on a more emotional level that much more likely, who knows? And geez, I'm getting sleepy and wordy. Sorry about that.
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