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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2019 12:44:46 GMT -5
Been chatting to another pd member that i hadnt connected with before....and he lives literally 10 miles from me ! Have the opportunity to meet for coffee but not sure if its a good idea. Im SO phobic about being "outed" and especially within my local area. Obviously we would just be meeting as friends (i have a partner) but for some reason it still scares me.
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Post by feelsunshine on Aug 1, 2019 13:18:01 GMT -5
Been chatting to another pd member that i hadnt connected with before....and he lives literally 10 miles from me ! Have the opportunity to meet for coffee but not sure if its a good idea. Im SO phobic about being "outed" and especially within my local area. Obviously we would just be meeting as friends (i have a partner) but for some reason it still scares me. Hey @delight so what about the idea of meeting another 20 miles away? Nobody will know the both of you. And you know, what will happen if you run into someone who you know? It will only be strange in your head. I'm sure the other person will have no strange sort of feelings whatsoever. The wheeler could easily be a cousin or a far relative.... I think we devs have too much "movie" running in our minds. "Normal" people wouldn't probably have any "bad" connection in their mind if they saw you with a PWD. So, go for it, have fun ;-)
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2019 16:08:15 GMT -5
Been chatting to another pd member that i hadnt connected with before....and he lives literally 10 miles from me ! Have the opportunity to meet for coffee but not sure if its a good idea. Im SO phobic about being "outed" and especially within my local area. Obviously we would just be meeting as friends (i have a partner) but for some reason it still scares me. Hey @delight so what about the idea of meeting another 20 miles away? Nobody will know the both of you. And you know, what will happen if you run into someone who you know? It will only be strange in your head. I'm sure the other person will have no strange sort of feelings whatsoever. The wheeler could easily be a cousin or a far relative.... I think we devs have too much "movie" running in our minds. "Normal" people wouldn't probably have any "bad" connection in their mind if they saw you with a PWD. So, go for it, have fun ;-) Thanks, i agree we tend to overthink but in this case my worry is about the pwd. What if he is anti dev ? Meeting someone from my very close area who i dont know and am not sure of his thoughts coukd be a risk ?
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Post by pam on Aug 1, 2019 17:23:07 GMT -5
Well, if you do meet up I hope it goes very well and you make a friend. Its sounds like it could be a nice get together, and if it goes bad, you can always leave!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2019 20:58:26 GMT -5
@delight ...and if it goes bad give us a heads up...😉 I am assuming he is a PWD? Will you tell your bf?
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Post by feelsunshine on Aug 1, 2019 22:41:15 GMT -5
Hey @delight so what about the idea of meeting another 20 miles away? Nobody will know the both of you. And you know, what will happen if you run into someone who you know? It will only be strange in your head. I'm sure the other person will have no strange sort of feelings whatsoever. The wheeler could easily be a cousin or a far relative.... I think we devs have too much "movie" running in our minds. "Normal" people wouldn't probably have any "bad" connection in their mind if they saw you with a PWD. So, go for it, have fun ;-) Thanks, i agree we tend to overthink but in this case my worry is about the pwd. What if he is anti dev ? Meeting someone from my very close area who i dont know and am not sure of his thoughts coukd be a risk ? I think this is a risk one takes with meeting any stranger (various bad things that could happen). You have to feel good about meeting him. If there is the slightest thing which gives you a bad feeling, then don’t do it. And do you think someone anti-dev would go through all of this effort? I don’t know.
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Post by Emma on Aug 1, 2019 23:38:36 GMT -5
@delight you could ask us about him. Maybe some of us have had contact with him. You could post his name here and if anyone reading your post knows more about him they can just PM you.
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Post by feelsunshine on Aug 2, 2019 1:36:59 GMT -5
@delight you could ask us about him. Maybe some of us have had contact with him. You could post his name here and if anyone reading your post knows more about him they can just PM you. That’s a good idea. And you probably already did that, but if not, definitely read through his former posts, this will also give you a good idea about his personality
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2019 4:54:07 GMT -5
I totally get the concern about being "outed". I met my special friend, who is a para, in a local pub. I saw one person that i knew in the carpark and another inside the pub and felt very uncomfortable indeed. I also think you need to consider what your intentions and motivations are about meeting up as well as his. We tell ourselves we might make a friend but there is also that potential for it becoming something else and making life very complicated, as i have learned! Fun, but complicated....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2019 16:45:24 GMT -5
Thanks everyone, ive chatted to him and he understands my concerns. He does seem like a really nice, intelligent and genuine guy. Ive been very clear that im only looking for friendship as im in a relationship and value honesty and trust above all else. Ive never cheated in my life....and not about to start lol. I guess may be one day we will grab a coffee but we're both busy at the moment. I will let you all know if we meet and how it goes. Thanks for your advice x
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Aug 6, 2019 11:26:50 GMT -5
Aaand now another guy who’s profile goes like: My right arm doesn’t work properly because of an accident. I love that people actually write these things on their profile! Makes it so much easier for us. But he wasn’t my type, even with the plus points his non-working-arm gave him, so left swipe it was!
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Post by feelsunshine on Aug 6, 2019 11:48:27 GMT -5
Aaand now another guy who’s profile goes like: My right arm doesn’t work properly because of an accident. I love that people actually write these things on their profile! Makes it so much easier for us. But he wasn’t my type, even with the plus points his non-working-arm gave him, so left swipe it was! Same problem most of the time... if I happen to find on tinder one of the 0.01 % of people that happen to meet my attraction disability-wise, they are not my type in all other aspects of what else would attract me. But since we‘re here in the thread wheeler spotting, I want to add that a really nice coincidence brought be back into writing contact with a quad that lives close by. We met on a dating site last year but both our situations were probably not right for us to meet at that point of time. So yeah back to writing and hopefully finally a meeting in person after my vacation.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2019 12:56:42 GMT -5
I thought about this a little more...I wouldn't be concerned about getting outed because I don't care about that. As long as the PWD knows I am a dev I wouldn't care about other people. I would be much more concerned about "more" than just hanging out happen unless that is my intention with a meeting. Other than that the line is very slim on when hanging out could turn into something else.
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Post by robbb on Aug 6, 2019 15:33:26 GMT -5
I was on a nightstop in another city with work yesterday and popped out for some lunch. As I walked up to the door of the restaurant a very nice para guy with 2 friends got to the door ahead of me. 40ish, masculine, very fit. While we were waiting to be seated I was standing right beside him. He was stretching his arms across to the opposite shoulder and at one point was rubbing his left pec through his tight black tee-shirt with his right hand. Very nice.
The waiter showed them to a table at the back of the restaurant. When he came back and tried to give me a table at the front I said I would prefer a table at the back. He put the menu on the place setting on one side of the table but I sat at the opposite side, he must have wondered what was going on.
I had a VERY nice view but don't ask me what I ate. Lol!
R.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2019 20:42:37 GMT -5
I was on a nightstop in another city with work yesterday and popped out for some lunch. As I walked up to the door of the restaurant a very nice para guy with 2 friends got to the door ahead of me. 40ish, masculine, very fit. While we were waiting to be seated I was standing right beside him. He was stretching his arms across to the opposite shoulder and at one point was rubbing his left pec through his tight black tee-shirt with his right hand. Very nice. The waiter showed them to a table at the back of the restaurant. When he came back and tried to give me a table at the front I said I would prefer a table at the back. He put the menu on the place setting on one side of the table but I sat at the opposite side, he must have wondered what was going on. I had a VERY nice view but don't ask me what I ate. Lol! R. Who needs food when you've got eye candy ! 😍
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