What if someone made a pass at you?

[malibu]

I'm wondering about how you'd feel and react if someone made a pass at you out of the blue, maybe in traffic, at the mall, online... Would you feel happy about it, or would you feel uncomfortable/disrespected/objectified or something else?

Extra questions:

Would you ever make a pass at someone you find attractive?

Any best/worst/funniest experiences?


I'd love to know the opinion about it of both, guys and gals.

[Hopper]

I'd do the same thing I do with any other form of affection of compliment, blush the same colour as my hair and stumble over my words.

It's a hard question to answer as I don't see myself as the kind of person that Devs would launch themselves at and make a pass.

Let's just say my reaction would be 'mild bemusement'.

Oh, on the other hand, online, as rare as it has been, I've been somewhat receptive. It all depends on who is passing. Also I love surprises and previous passes have come in the form of unexpected PMs, so that's nice I guess. I always admire the courage of Devs just to go out there and tell me how they feel. It says a lot about them, and it's something I can't fault.

[frankj]

I don't know what I would do, depends on who she is and in which setting it happens. If she seems attractive to me, I would react positively. If not, I would kindly decline any offer made.

In the past I have made a pass at someone whom I didn't know and that resulted in quite a steamy night. I was on holiday in Ethiopia and there was a girl working at the bar of our camping site. She looked at me, I looked back. She worked at the bar until closing time. I just sat and waited until everyone else was gone. She walked up to me and offered to help me find my tent. But my tent was already occupied by one of the other people of my group. So I took her with me behind some trees and, well... It was a good experience.

[Hopper]

Not til after the wedding night, I'd assume.

[wiggles]

I'd respond with a smile and, hopefully, something equal parts witty and charming. At least, that's what I've always TRIED to do in such situations. But there were definitely some times in my younger days when I was oblivious to a few subtle flirtations. I expect most of us have a few cases where we're home hours later and suddenly facepalm after realizing we totally missed a signal or made a hash of an opportunity.

As for flirting myself -- oh, yes, I will absolutely flirt. It was when I was in my university years that I learned how much of an aphrodisiac smart, funny and confident can be. Out of my group of friends, all of whom were able-bodied, I consistently seemed to have more luck with women. I know that sounds like a bit of a "humble brag" but really it's more of an attempt to illustrate that seizing the day can really pay off. Rejection sucks, no doubt about it, but if you're willing to keep casting your line out, eventually a mermaid is going to want to jump into your boat and check out your tackle box. (Don't ask me where that fishing analogy came from, but it ended up sounding silly enough that I just didn't have the heart to hit backspace!)

My worst and funniest flirting experience occurred the first time I ever went to a club. My friends and I had been there for awhile and I had been making my first foray into the world of tequila (bad idea) and shots (worse idea). Finally, it was time for me to take off and I started heading for the door to collect my coat when a seemingly tipsy woman with a plunging neckline just latched onto me. She pressed herself in close, thankfully avoiding my chair's joystick, and put her lips right next to my ear and kinda whisper/shouted over the music: "Hey! Are you going?" My brain, already muddled by a combination of alcohol, loud music, and flashing lights, struggled to come up with a suitably suave response to the attractive minx in the tiny black dress who had made it her mission to introduce me to her own personal world of cleavage. To this day I still kick myself for my reply which, while a statement of 100 percent fact, was most definitely not the panty-dropper I wish it could have been: "Uh... I don't know you."

Mic drop right there for the ultimate Don Juan.

Thank goodness I never did that again. At least there was nowhere to go but up after that performance. I still flinch when I think about it! Luckily, I have some more steamy successes I can reflect on that at least partially balance the books. But man oh man, what a disaster that was!

[Mets]

I think it would really depend on context. If it's somewhere calm and quiet, or someone I've spoken to at least a few times before, I think I'd play along well. Like most, if I'm intentionally trying to be noticed I don't think I'm the best spoken person, but if I'm not overthinking it, I can carry a decent conversation and get some laughs.

[Deleted]

I usually assume the guy is just being friendly or is flirting in a joking manner I still get embarrassed and flustered but I don't follow up since I assume it's not serious.

[malibu]

I've been wondering about it because I don't want to make anyone feel embarassed or even worse. It's common here in Brazil if a girl gets some sort of attention from the guys. Not so usual the other way round though.

So far it had never crossed my mind to make any kind of flirting starting from my side other than a indefitive look.

Now I know that this may be interpretated thousand ways. Maybe compassion, maybe curiosity, maybe daydreaming and looking into nowhere. That's why I adopted a slightly different strategy, I smiled and shaped my hands to a heart. The wheeler was visibly flustered, his friend on the other hand was thrilled and I looked away in order to avoid any other kind of akwardness, I was quite embarassed myself because I realized this could be interpretated so wrong too

I will certainly avoid this scandalized approach in future.

[malibu]

Yea not doing it again. It happened a few weeks ago, so I don't remember exactly. My guess is, that he wasn't sure if I meant him or someone else, because he looked quickly around. Also, he seemed surprised, almost shocked so I don't think he understood it as pity. Maybe he felt bothered, some people might feel such approaches as an inapropriate privacy invasion. I tried to make it cute rather than overly sexy, although I doubt highly my brain was able to make such an overcomplicated decision in less than 2 seconds. It was on the mall, in the crowd, very quick and quite impulsive as far as I remember. Or let's say, it was authentic

I forgot about it quickly but yesterday I was with a friend who got really angry when a guy made a pass at her. So I remembered and realized I had done similar to the wheeler, who was very cute btw. But I guess there's no right or wrong, some would take it with humor, some with anger, and so on. Maybe next time I'll just behave like a normal person....believe me, it's hard, but I'll do my very best.

[mikefatty]

I accept all passes at me from any gender as a compliment honestly. It all depends on the situation. And how the pass is made that will determine how I will respond though. Some people are just plain rude and some people are sexy and flattering. Verbally that is. Doesn't matter the persons looks. Sometimes I like being a piece of meat sometimes I prefer a little more respect. But I'll always see it as a compliment.

[cooks]

I generally like attention, especially if it's coming from a woman between the ages of 18 and 60. As long as you're not trying to grope anyone (exceptions apply), I wouldn't worry too much about how they'll react.

[Deleted]

I don't remember the last time anyone has made a pass at me... yeah, it would be nice I guess... it seems to be a very distant memory. Not sure why that is the case. I don't think I am a total troll...:-)

[rebel6842]

Aug 1, 2016 18:48:53 GMT -5 Dani said:

I don't remember the last time anyone has made a pass at me... yeah, it would be nice I guess... it seems to be a very distant memory. Not sure why that is the case. I don't think I am a total troll...:-)

Trust us, noone would ever mistake you for a troll

[malibu]

I think this making a pass at someone is country-specific and maybe a bit controverse.
My friend said she enjoyed her stay in Europe, because nobody would ever make a pass at her. I had another brazilian friend who said she would feel invisible in Europe, and she loved it. Maybe it´s like that in your country too, Dani. I´m convinced that you wouldn´t be invisible if you were here.

I personally don´t mind, or may even like. If the guy does something creative, for example, turns off his own radio, opens his window and starts dancing to my music in traffic. I can´t help but smile.

[malibu]

Don´t think it´s only about being tired, braced...for them it´s more about women rights/worth, rapist culture, objectification, privacy and so on.

But I have seen it the other way round too, people from europe enjoying the extra attention here, probably not enough time to get tired of it lol.

Women here don´t make passes at men usually... unless he´s a star. Or maybe a cute pwd