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Post by Manda2212 on Apr 5, 2017 18:22:26 GMT -5
Well, mainly because none of the devs I've talked with ever expressed guilt at all, so I didn't think it was a thing. Hmmm...the vast majority of devs I know have experienced guilt at one time or another. Maybe they just haven't wanted to share this deeply personal thing with you. Just a thought.
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Post by Manda2212 on Apr 5, 2017 18:23:37 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2017 18:52:36 GMT -5
For what it's worth I kinda think Des balance the world out a bit. Most people hate the idea of having sex with the disabled you few don't and you should find some peace in that. All I've ever wanted is my fair share I may never have that but because of devs someone like me doesn't have to be alone.
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sharmayne02
New Member
Posts: 22
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: It's complicated
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Post by sharmayne02 on Apr 5, 2017 19:08:42 GMT -5
For what it's worth I kinda think Des balance the world out a bit. Most people hate the idea of having sex with the disabled you few don't and you should find some peace in that. All I've ever wanted is my fair share I may never have that but because of devs someone like me doesn't have to be alone. True no reason to be alone that is why I think us devotee's are here in this world.
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Apr 5, 2017 19:52:48 GMT -5
For what it's worth I kinda think Des balance the world out a bit. Most people hate the idea of having sex with the disabled you few don't and you should find some peace in that. All I've ever wanted is my fair share I may never have that but because of devs someone like me doesn't have to be alone. Statements like this one are what concern me about devs. You shouldn't think that in order to be with someone it has to be a dev. There may be non-devs out there who would like to be with you. You're selling yourself short by saying things like this. I've had devs tell me that no "normal" people would be interested in me because I have a disability, but I know that isn't true because the women I've been with weren't devs. I'm sure not all devs are ableist, but (in my experience) many of them exhibit extremely ableist behavior and say ableist things, also.
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Post by mike on Apr 5, 2017 20:20:44 GMT -5
Tell 'ya what sharmayne, show me one person you personally, deliberately caused to become disabled and I'll help you feel guilty; but if you are just attracted to them, no guilt is appropriate. Think of your worst attribute (worst in your mind), then imagine discovering a group of people who were attracted to that attribute; should they feel guilty? Imagine some other attribute in a guy you find attractive; did you DECIDE to be attracted to that attribute? Imagine a mainstream attribute like height or hair color, should you feel guilty for finding that attractive? Of course not. Just because the attribute you are attracted to is not mainstream doesn't make you bad, that's just silly. It is not my intention to trivialize your concern, lots of people express similar feelings. It is my intention to get you to perceive that your guilt feeling is not appropriate. Of course if someone expressed a fear of flying, telling them "Don't feel that way" really doesn't help much but accepting that planes don't crash that often (usually only once) is the first step in overcoming that fear. Frequent exposure is more successful in eliminating that fear.
Think of some attribute of yours (think purple toenails), and guys not approaching you because they feel guilty for liking your purple toenails; would you be better off because of their guilt?
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Post by Manda2212 on Apr 5, 2017 20:26:49 GMT -5
For what it's worth I kinda think Des balance the world out a bit. Most people hate the idea of having sex with the disabled you few don't and you should find some peace in that. All I've ever wanted is my fair share I may never have that but because of devs someone like me doesn't have to be alone. Statements like this one are what concern me about devs. You shouldn't think that in order to be with someone it has to be a dev. There may be non-devs out there who would like to be with you. You're selling yourself short by saying things like this. I've had devs tell me that no "normal" people would be interested in me because I have a disability, but I know that isn't true because the women I've been with weren't devs. I'm sure not all devs are ableist, but (in my experience) many of them exhibit extremely ableist behavior and say ableist things, also. My better judgement says not to touch this..but alas..I cannot resist. I have never heard a dev express this sentiment...not here...not on WC. The devs I know are super respectful and the opposite of "able-ist" or whatever "ist" buzzword of the day you choose. Where are these terrible devs you are speaking of? What ableist behaviors have you experienced? Also, if you have this view of devs, why are you here sharing a space with us?
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scott
New Member
Posts: 30
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by scott on Apr 5, 2017 20:40:51 GMT -5
For what it's worth I kinda think Des balance the world out a bit. Most people hate the idea of having sex with the disabled you few don't and you should find some peace in that. All I've ever wanted is my fair share I may never have that but because of devs someone like me doesn't have to be alone. Statements like this one are what concern me about devs. You shouldn't think that in order to be with someone it has to be a dev. There may be non-devs out there who would like to be with you. You're selling yourself short by saying things like this. I've had devs tell me that no "normal" people would be interested in me because I have a disability, but I know that isn't true because the women I've been with weren't devs. I'm sure not all devs are ableist, but (in my experience) many of them exhibit extremely ableist behavior and say ableist things, also. Right, but you understand where he's coming from. The reality is that most women do not desire disabled folks. It is encouraging to know that where we and many others may view disability as a negative (in a relationship or otherwise), devs do not view it that way. I think that's pretty cool. I haven't met a dev yet, but I would hope she would not be afraid to tell me if she were. Once we're comfortable with one another of course. I'd welcome it, lol.
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Apr 5, 2017 20:48:47 GMT -5
Statements like this one are what concern me about devs. You shouldn't think that in order to be with someone it has to be a dev. There may be non-devs out there who would like to be with you. You're selling yourself short by saying things like this. I've had devs tell me that no "normal" people would be interested in me because I have a disability, but I know that isn't true because the women I've been with weren't devs. I'm sure not all devs are ableist, but (in my experience) many of them exhibit extremely ableist behavior and say ableist things, also. My better judgement says not to touch this..but alas..I cannot resist. I have never heard a dev express this sentiment...not here...not on WC. The devs I know are super respectful and the opposite of "able-ist" or whatever "ist" buzzword of the day you choose. Where are these terrible devs you are speaking of? What ableist behaviors have you experienced? Also, if you have this view of devs, why are you here sharing a space with us? Ableist is NOT a buzzword. It is a real thing, thank you very much. Anyway, where are they? Commenting things like "i love your dead legs" on my YouTube videos all the time. Sending me messages on Facebook DEMANDING that I send them pictures and videos of myself doing things they know I can't do (asking me to try to stand and walk when you know that I cannot do so is ableist and demeaning) or asking to meet me after one or two messages. A few years ago I had a dev threaten my then girlfriend with violence because the dev wanted to be with me and wanted my g/f out of the way. I had a dev from Paris tell me flat out that she was in love with me and claim that I should be with her because no one else would want me. (THAT is ableist language. Essentially saying that my disability makes me have less value as a person, somehow.) I was invited to this place by a longtime member here because she knew that I had many negative experiences with devs and thought that this place would change my mind about them. Admittedly I have encountered no one here that behaves in the way that the other devs I've come in contact with do.
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Post by Manda2212 on Apr 5, 2017 21:10:28 GMT -5
Here is the definition of ableism: Ableism /ˈeɪblɪzəm/ (also known as ablism,[1] disablism, disability discrimination, and handicapism) is discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities. Ableism characterizes persons as defined by their disabilities and as inferior to the non-disabled.
Honestly not sure any of the things you mention qualify. Except Paris chick, who I would argue is NOT a dev but an angry sex fiend.
ETA: don't you think your generalizations about devs are a little "dev-ist"??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2017 21:12:20 GMT -5
Thank you @tc123
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Apr 5, 2017 21:15:16 GMT -5
Statements like this one are what concern me about devs. You shouldn't think that in order to be with someone it has to be a dev. There may be non-devs out there who would like to be with you. You're selling yourself short by saying things like this. I've had devs tell me that no "normal" people would be interested in me because I have a disability, but I know that isn't true because the women I've been with weren't devs. I'm sure not all devs are ableist, but (in my experience) many of them exhibit extremely ableist behavior and say ableist things, also You're concerned about devs because of something a pwd said who has been here 3 days? Statement like yours are a constant reminder to me that dev-hating pwds are everywhere, even on our beloved pd. Youve had "assholes" tell you no normal person would date you because of your disability, not devs. You've had assholes say extremely ableist things to you. Not devs. You don't know the difference by now? You have not had one nice thing to say about devs since you've been here. There are tons of places you can find normal women that won't be so disturbing to you. I'm sure you'll do great with them, you can tell them about your condos and stuff. That isn't true. The woman that told me about this place has always been nice to me. What makes you even think that I want to be with anyone? You have a lot of preconceived notions of me that are incorrect. Also, why so hostile? I've said in this topic and before in other topics that no one here has been anything other than nice to me. You act like I'm attacking you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2017 21:15:16 GMT -5
I actually had to look up the word "ableism", never heard of it and when I read the definition I couldn't connect it at all with the devs I know... I agree wholeheartedly with tc...those were not devs who said and did stuff like that, those were just plain crazy assholes...
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Apr 5, 2017 21:16:03 GMT -5
Here is the definition of ableism: Ableism /ˈeɪblɪzəm/ (also known as ablism,[1] disablism, disability discrimination, and handicapism) is discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities. Ableism characterizes persons as defined by their disabilities and as inferior to the non-disabled. Honestly not sure any of the things you mention qualify. Except Paris chick, who I would argue is NOT a dev but an angry sex fiend. I'm well aware of what ableism is, but thanks.
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Apr 5, 2017 21:16:57 GMT -5
Statements like this one are what concern me about devs. You shouldn't think that in order to be with someone it has to be a dev. There may be non-devs out there who would like to be with you. You're selling yourself short by saying things like this. I've had devs tell me that no "normal" people would be interested in me because I have a disability, but I know that isn't true because the women I've been with weren't devs. I'm sure not all devs are ableist, but (in my experience) many of them exhibit extremely ableist behavior and say ableist things, also. Right, but you understand where he's coming from. The reality is that most women do not desire disabled folks. I certainly cannot deny this.
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