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Post by mona on Jan 25, 2018 12:23:57 GMT -5
Did I post an lol or a smilie? It is possible to be young without being ignorant! i'm sorry, I thought you were joking, you might be still joking right now but still sorry just in case Very sweet, letstrythis!
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Post by missparkle on Jan 25, 2018 12:46:32 GMT -5
Respectfully, it would not fulfill your need. I agree with you wholeheartedly that it's not the same. But where I beg to differ is that I believe there are different levels of intensity and different motivations for wanting children. For me, having children in my world that will grow up and still know me when I'm old, that's an important part of my need. Actually wanting to experience that unique bond btwn mother and child? That's further down the list. For me. Especially without my own mom there beside me. Everyone's life is like a pie, and not everyone is going to carve it into 10 symmetrical slices. Please, excuse me if I've crossed the line, it was not my intention, to pry into your private sphere. I am sorry if it was too much. Yes, I was talking about my needs and I've never suggested you, or anyone else should have the same. I completely, 100% agree that we are all different, have different needs and desires and equal rights to fulfill them. I was just trying to give you friendly advice, to think and consider very well your wishes. Unfortunately, we woman are pretty limited with time, when it comes to children. Man (theoretically) can change his mind even in his seventies.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2018 14:15:51 GMT -5
@misssparkle it's all good, and thank you sincerely for your advice! I do appreciate it. Just thought a quick point of clarification might broaden the topic again. As a newcomer I don't want to be a nuisance by dominating the thread! And yes, biology does not allow us the same kind of leeway as men have when considering that aspect of future plans.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2018 14:18:16 GMT -5
Some day, I'd like to live on a Caribbean island, grow biodynamic-organic bananas and smoke a ton of pot every day. I have an aunt who did something like that. She outlived her own children by light years lol Passed away last year, from drowning.Wow, that sounds like a great prompt for a novel...!
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Post by elbs on Jan 26, 2018 7:03:00 GMT -5
I want to: a) have a child (I'm going to start TTC when I'm 30, in two years) b) get some of my writing published c) finish my psych degree d) make some kinky friends IRL, and maybe find someone to be a play partner
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Post by Mets on Jan 26, 2018 10:34:58 GMT -5
I’m graduating with my BFA this year, hopefully will be working as a designer by the end of the summer. Would love to work for a fun company that really interests me, but at my age I’m definitely happy to take any offer I get, try and work my way up.
Rather than eventually working up to a fancy high paying job in the future, I’d prefer a lesser-paying job with a good amount of vacation time. I greatly value time over things.
Would love to be married in 5 years or so, maybe try for kids shortly after. I’d also love to pursue some sort of substantive personal creative project, maybe write a book or something along those lines.
I’m not too stubborn on any of these things, and whatever unfolds, I’m sure I’ll finagle it to be of my liking.
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Post by Manda2212 on Jan 26, 2018 11:49:17 GMT -5
I would like to build up my savings account, continue to excel in my career, do as much traveling I can, and raise my children to be self-reliant, respectful, responsible adults. I also hope that my marriage continues to grow and evolve and that we continue to fight for each other. I have always had the idea that my marriage would be a forever one and I have always daydreamed about growing old with my husband and in our old age sitting in matching rocking chairs on our porch.
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Post by matisse on Jan 27, 2018 3:44:47 GMT -5
what I want to achieve is to move out of my current city to somewhere in Europe, maybe the Netherlands, and get an apartment in the middle of the city, be independent < this part is almost impossible because I always need someone with me. In other words, you want to be successful enough, in whatever you end up doing in life, to live comfortably in a city you like. This is likely the "goal" of 99% of people. If you are lucky enough to be the kid of well-to-do parents or you already live in a socialist country where no one is homeless or without healthcare, then you might be ok. If not, then as a 21 year old it is not unhealthy to plan and you are actually behind in the planning and executing you should be doing. I would start with identifying a career and any education you need to get there. As difficult as it may be for millennials, you should not dismiss careers where you have the skills and where you can tolerate them for a lifetime, but are not necessarily careers that you love. I don't subscribe to the philosophy that you can't be happy if your job is something you don't love to do. The reality is that most people don't love their jobs and what they love is not something that can sustain them financially. Lots of people actually hate their jobs, but don't have an alternative. I don't think you should worry about being inflexible on your life path. The people I know who had that inflexibility had parents who tried to control their lives. Most people can and do roll with the punches. You should instead worry about ending up in a dead-end where you have no choice to do something else.
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Post by letstrythis on Jan 27, 2018 6:44:06 GMT -5
I want to: a) have a child (I'm going to start TTC when I'm 30, in two years) b) get some of my writing published c) finish my psych degree d) make some kinky friends IRL, and maybe find someone to be a play partner what's TTC? also good luck with your degree
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Post by letstrythis on Jan 27, 2018 6:47:03 GMT -5
I’m graduating with my BFA this year, hopefully will be working as a designer by the end of the summer. Would love to work for a fun company that really interests me, but at my age I’m definitely happy to take any offer I get, try and work my way up. Rather than eventually working up to a fancy high paying job in the future, I’d prefer a lesser-paying job with a good amount of vacation time. I greatly value time over things. Would love to be married in 5 years or so, maybe try for kids shortly after. I’d also love to pursue some sort of substantive personal creative project, maybe write a book or something along those lines. I’m not too stubborn on any of these things, and whatever unfolds, I’m sure I’ll finagle it to be of my liking. I always found designers to be very cool, could you share some of your work?
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Post by letstrythis on Jan 27, 2018 6:52:29 GMT -5
I would like to build up my savings account, continue to excel in my career, do as much traveling I can, and raise my children to be self-reliant, respectful, responsible adults. I also hope that my marriage continues to grow and evolve and that we continue to fight for each other. I have always had the idea that my marriage would be a forever one and I have always daydreamed about growing old with my husband and in our old age sitting in matching rocking chairs on our porch. aww that's so sweet, I hope your marriage last forever
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Post by letstrythis on Jan 27, 2018 6:58:53 GMT -5
I want to make vat meat. Or algae or insects or.... whatever ends up being a good choice for sustainable nutrition. Cuz we're eating ourselves out of house and home, y'all. The way things are going, I'll probably be more involved in whatever goes into feeding the food. That's fine too. Yeah this video really opened my eyes to how important for us to change the way we eat
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Post by letstrythis on Jan 27, 2018 7:08:00 GMT -5
what I want to achieve is to move out of my current city to somewhere in Europe, maybe the Netherlands, and get an apartment in the middle of the city, be independent < this part is almost impossible because I always need someone with me. In other words, you want to be successful enough, in whatever you end up doing in life, to live comfortably in a city you like. This is likely the "goal" of 99% of people. If you are lucky enough to be the kid of well-to-do parents or you already live in a socialist country where no one is homeless or without healthcare, then you might be ok. If not, then as a 21 year old it is not unhealthy to plan and you are actually behind in the planning and executing you should be doing. I would start with identifying a career and any education you need to get there. As difficult as it may be for millennials, you should not dismiss careers where you have the skills and where you can tolerate them for a lifetime, but are not necessarily careers that you love. I don't subscribe to the philosophy that you can't be happy if your job is something you don't love to do. The reality is that most people don't love their jobs and what they love is not something that can sustain them financially. Lots of people actually hate their jobs, but don't have an alternative. I don't think you should worry about being inflexible on your life path. The people I know who had that inflexibility had parents who tried to control their lives. Most people can and do roll with the punches. You should instead worry about ending up in a dead-end where you have no choice to do something else. it's not something that I really really want, it's just something that would be nice if it happened, also I already have enough financial stability to achieve this, it is only a matter of time. Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it
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Post by Mets on Jan 27, 2018 13:14:34 GMT -5
I’m graduating with my BFA this year, hopefully will be working as a designer by the end of the summer. Would love to work for a fun company that really interests me, but at my age I’m definitely happy to take any offer I get, try and work my way up. Rather than eventually working up to a fancy high paying job in the future, I’d prefer a lesser-paying job with a good amount of vacation time. I greatly value time over things. Would love to be married in 5 years or so, maybe try for kids shortly after. I’d also love to pursue some sort of substantive personal creative project, maybe write a book or something along those lines. I’m not too stubborn on any of these things, and whatever unfolds, I’m sure I’ll finagle it to be of my liking. I always found designers to be very cool, could you share some of your work? I’m not going to post my website on here for privacy/identity reasons, but I’ll shoot you a PM right now with the link. Always love talking design, happy to share with anyone via PM
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Post by Corey on Jan 27, 2018 16:18:35 GMT -5
what I want to achieve is to move out of my current city to somewhere in Europe, maybe the Netherlands, and get an apartment in the middle of the city, be independent < this part is almost impossible because I always need someone with me. Hi, can you elaborate on that last part a bit? You have SMA right? I am also SMA, type 2, and have lived more or less independently since I was 19. I have always had helpers, but sometimes for only an hour a day. Its totally possible, is what Im saying
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