Just ...thank you

[blindLeap]

Honestly ...I am not quite sure where this is going to go yet myself. I am not sure if similar threads exist, in similar contexts or in their message, but I think a perspective such as this can never be overshared.

I've only been in this community for a very short time, and yet ...it feels like I've been here forever. Maybe that is me projecting my desire to have known about this place back onto myself, maybe it's just the homely, friendly ambiencce giving me that vibe but I can't deny it's truth.

To have the thing that I've come to live with, my blindness that I am completely alright and good with, be flipped from being a stigma-inducing difference I have to defend the validity of to something that is admired in the open is ... indescribable.

I only notice just how much self-sensoring I am doing, how much I have to conform to society's rigid demands every second of every day when not inside my rather limited circle of people when I am suddenly no longer required to do all that. Here, on this board, letting go of that burden I didn't even know I was carrying is ...oddly liberating, it at times makes me feel deliriously light and happy. It also shows me just how fucked up the world out there really is for those who want to just be their own person.

Organizations like to state that you should turn your disability into an asset. Make what you can't do something inconsequential and focus on what you can do. If your disability gives you a particular outlook on life, embrace that outlook and make it your specialty.

All that sounds rather floaty, rather ...insubstantial. And yet I would say that that actually describes what I've been doing over here for the last few days somewhat accurately. Except here ...it's actually appreciated. Not a humoring pat on the shoulder and an inner monologue of how inspirational a person is for merely existing ... the mutual respect here for people's differences and how those can actually complement each other is something I hope to thrive on for a very long time still. So guys ...seriously ...thank you. Thank you for being here, thank you for this community ...thank you.

[devogirl]

You're welcome! Having spent my entire life enthralled by blind men, it makes me very happy to hear that just knowing of our existence makes you feel better about yourself. Growing up as a dev was not easy, and I wasted so many years assuming that any person with a disability would automatically hate devs. It was so liberating to learn that's not true.

If you want a deep dive into the mind of a blindness dev (ie, me), you can read Devo Diary:
stories.paradevo.net/search/label/Devo%20Diary
Dev/dis relationships don't always work out, and I did some things I regret but maybe reading it can give more insight into how we think
as well as not idealizing us too much.

[blindLeap]

Heh,

Grateful as I am, over-idealization is not a trap I tend to fall into. But I will certainly read your writings, I have been curious to see things from a blind dev's perspective, both good and bad. Thanks for the opportunity :-)
Also you appear to be married so I'd hope you're doing reasonably well for yourself now at least? :-)

[devogirl]

Just making sure! A lot of guys come here and at first are like "this is the best thing ever" but after a few days when they don't get any "action" from the devs they get angry and lash out. But I didn't get that vibe from your post.

To answer your question, yes I am happily married to an AB guy and I am in a good place with my devness, although it took a long time to get there. I got married in 2010 which is where Devo Diary will end. I've taken a break from writing it for a while as I finish up a novel but hopefully I will have time to get back to it soon.

[blindLeap]

I am really glad to hear it. Just reading your stories now and it is giving me an even greater perspective than I hoped for. I am doing this a lot today but thank you for writing and sharing :-)
As for wanting action from devs ... I'd have a hard time with any casual arrangement like that, I really need to seek a deeper connection with someone before even going there and if that happens I won't complain but it wasn't my main reason for coming here :-)

[lisa]

I can really recommend devogirl's writing! I have read everything she posted of the diary so far and a lot of her feelings and experiences are similar to mine.

I think we can give each other a lot of appreciation on PD. I have found it very helpful to hear from disabled guys that they do not have a problem with the existence of devs (maybe even on the contrary!). And as devs usually have a different approach to disability related things than society in general, it might be refreshing for the guys to come here without having to explain everything or, as you said, pretend to be someone more "society friendly".

Thank you for joining and participating!

[blindLeap]

I ...can't...stop...reading :-O
devogirl you really write well and this is giving me a new appreciation if nothing else.

[Deleted]

Very nice post blindLeap
It's good to read this and how you feel about being here. Hopefully you will stick around for a long time to come and be an asset to this community as you have already shown.
PD is a very important place for many, for devs who first find out about their devness and knowing they are not alone, for PWD who are curious and sincerely interested in us with an open mind.
We also get others and that just comes with the territory I guess but as a whole, PD is the best place on the www for devs and pro dev or dev curious PWD.
This place can make a difference in how people view their devness or their disability for sure and hopefully it is a positive thing.

[Dr. BiPAP Sachin]

Oct 21, 2019 11:52:57 GMT -5 Dani said:

Very nice post blindLeap
It's good to read this and how you feel about being here. Hopefully you will stick around for a long time to come and be an asset to this community as you have already shown.
PD is a very important place for many, for devs who first find out about their devness and knowing they are not alone, for PWD who are curious and sincerely interested in us with an open mind.
We also get others and that just comes with the territory I guess but as a whole, PD is the best place on the www for devs and pro dev or dev curious PWD.
This place can make a difference in how people view their devness or their disability for sure and hopefully it is a positive thing.

Couldn't agree more, Dani.

[devogirl]

Oct 21, 2019 9:25:35 GMT -5 blindLeap said:

I ...can't...stop...reading :-O
devogirl you really write well and this is giving me a new appreciation if nothing else.

Aw, thanks so much! And thanks to lisa also. I'm happy my weird, sometimes embarrassing experiences can help people understand devs better, or help devs realize they are not the only one.   

[blindLeap]

devogirl just wanted to check in a final time :-)
I am happy to say I read the whole series and it has given me a lot of inspiration, as well as teaching me so very much. Forget the FAQ, this should be required reading for any newbie :-)
It was enlightening to read about your adventures and dare I say, it was rather hot as well to read about your kinky escapades , me being a switch myself
Again, thanks a bunch for sharing and here's to cool correspondence in the future :-)

[devogirl]

Aw, thanks dude! That makes me very happy to hear It isn't finished. There's still so much more to tell, including one more relationship attempt with another blind guy (spoiler, it didn't work out). I will get back to writing it soon.

[blindLeap]

devogirl Heh, I'd almost get nervous , but then if I look at the blind guys you've ran into so far I can't help but wonder where the heck you dug them up from :-) There are some of us that aren't that ..well ... is difficult a good word to use here? :-)
I'd almost start writing up my experiences as a PWD who actively dates to restore the blind faith

[erikajulia]

Oct 25, 2019 9:29:33 GMT -5 blindLeap said:

devogirl Heh, I'd almost get nervous , but then if I look at the blind guys you've ran into so far I can't help but wonder where the heck you dug them up from :-) There are some of us that aren't that ..well ... is difficult a good word to use here? :-)
I'd almost start writing up my experiences as a PWD who actively dates to restore the blind faith

Almost? I think that(!) would make an interesting read and you would dev-initely find an audience here.

[pam]

Oct 25, 2019 10:06:32 GMT -5 erikajulia said:

Oct 25, 2019 9:29:33 GMT -5 blindLeap said:

devogirl Heh, I'd almost get nervous , but then if I look at the blind guys you've ran into so far I can't help but wonder where the heck you dug them up from :-) There are some of us that aren't that ..well ... is difficult a good word to use here? :-)
I'd almost start writing up my experiences as a PWD who actively dates to restore the blind faith

Almost? I think that(!) would make an interesting read and you would dev-initely find an audience here.

I agree. I loved Devo Diary so I know I would enjoy your stories. Maybe one day you will decide to write them!