brinzerdecalli
Full Member
I hope to encounter some interesting and uniquely minded people.
Posts: 217
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by brinzerdecalli on Dec 16, 2019 12:55:02 GMT -5
It's interesting the agreed closest label is "orientation" and now defining sexual orientation as sexual preference is incorrect, so I have heard. But what about other preferences that we never give an orientation label and often called fetishes?
I've known people who really are into Asian people. Since a young age, they loved anime, and wore Asian clothes, always wanted to play with the Asian barbie. They would study Asian culture and dream of living in Japan or China. Any person that looked Asian they would be extra friendly to and ask all sorts of questions. As they got older and became sexual they started having sexual desires for certain Asian people.
Or another friend who from a young age really liked hugs from heavy people, because they were extra warm and cozy. Their favorite animal was a grizzly bear and they had an oversized stuffed animal version she would sleep with every night. And again as she got older she found heavy set men far more desirable.
I’ve met people who liked "torturing" their stuffed animals and drawing bloody scenes in a sketchbook when they were young. They always wanted to look when a shot was given, or blood was taken. They playfully picked on their friends in somewhat cruel ways until they learned it was not wanted or nice then they held back the desire and instinct to do so. As this person grew up they became a sadist.
I guess what I am trying to grasp is how devness is different from these scenarios people would just call fetishes or preferences. Maybe the label of these all are wrong, and a new word needs to be developed/implemented to explain the implicit nature of these feelings? I'd suggest devotee, but that would get pretty confusing very quickly. haha
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Post by wonk on Dec 16, 2019 14:59:33 GMT -5
Why do you need a label?
Like almost any subject, the more you learn, you realise how little you actually know
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 15:35:19 GMT -5
I also don't believe we need a "new" label...I already don't like devotee very much. I don't think it's that easy to explain all fetishes brinzerdecalli There may be some you can explain that simple but I believe some fetishes are rooted in something much deeper, sometimes very painful situations and experiences that have occured in people's lives and with that some people don't even know why they like what they like. It's a tapestry of many reasons why a person likes certain things in a sexual way and sometimes too complicated to figure out. Again, I'm referring to fetish as something that manifests merely sexual... So this is my personal opinion, I know there are devs who consider devoteeism a fetish, I don't. I don't like it very much when devoteeism is limited to just a fetish. I know it is different for every devotee though. A fetish to me is the desire/need for an object or a situation including an object that gets me off sexually, something I like and enjoy and something that is non Vanilla or off the norm on what regular sexual interactions includes. It is an "object" that gets me off or a situation with said object (s) that I either may imagine or may actually act on and as a result get off on. A PWD is not an object, he/she is a human being. Personally I don't get off imagining a guy in a wheelchair or anything in that sense. I don't look at YouTube vids of guys in wheelchairs and rub myself in front of the computer. I don't feel the pressing urge to act on meeting a PWD to fulfill my sexual desires because I get that otherwise. There are some things that turn me on and could be part of that PWD or something about him but it is not the only thing I need to fulfill sexual urges. First and foremost is the person himself that interests me and his life and everything about him. Yes, I love looking at an attractive guy in a wheelchair but it is not what gets me off. For me being a devotee means a profound interest in the person, their life, their story and everything about them really. It is maybe more like an orientation as mentioned above but not neccessarily sexual. The person comes first and with that possibly the sexual interest but it is not my primary attraction. I have to agree with what was said above that it is more a heart feeling, not a feeling between my legs. I have fetishes I like and things that get me off but I don't consider being a devotee a fetish.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 15:38:59 GMT -5
I also don't believe we need a "new" label...I already don't like devotee very much. The word 'devotee' doesn't really make it clear what it's referring to. And 'dev' could mean 'developer' lol.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 15:40:51 GMT -5
I also don't believe we need a "new" label...I already don't like devotee very much. The word 'devotee' doesn't really make it clear what it's referring to. And 'dev' could mean 'developer' lol. Yes, it is an odd word. I remember searching on the Internet years ago and the stuff that popped up initially was tied to religious devotion.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 15:47:53 GMT -5
Maybe we make up some Greek-based scientific-sounding word that ends with '-phile' lol. What's the Greek word for physical/sensory disability?
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manicpixiememegirl
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Posts: 112
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by manicpixiememegirl on Dec 16, 2019 18:46:38 GMT -5
But what about other preferences that we never give an orientation label and often called fetishes? I think the line where sexual preferences become sexual fetishes is when the person as a whole is removed from the equation. I would argue that someone finding Asian people more attractive than people of other ethnicities is a preference. It becomes a fetish when that attraction is due to a belief in common stereotypes such as submissiveness. People with an Asian fetish are projecting characteristics onto potential partners whereas an attraction to physical features is (usually) part of a larger compatibility equation. Personally I would describe my experience of being a devotee as a preference over an orientation. To me, being attracted to PWDs is not the same as solely being interested in a specific gender because I still find AB people attractive. Ultimately, devs do not share a hive mind and we are all going to have different views and experiences. And I agree with Dani, I don't care for devotee at all. It sounds so over the top lol
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Post by wonk on Dec 16, 2019 19:38:41 GMT -5
Maybe we make up some Greek-based scientific-sounding word that ends with '-phile' lol. What's the Greek word for physical/sensory disability? Maybe make up a name for yourself and stop trying to label people.
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manicpixiememegirl
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Posts: 112
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by manicpixiememegirl on Dec 16, 2019 20:05:39 GMT -5
Maybe we make up some Greek-based scientific-sounding word that ends with '-phile' lol. What's the Greek word for physical/sensory disability? Abasiophilia is the term for a general attraction to people with physical disabilities. Not sure about sensory disabilities.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 20:15:57 GMT -5
But what about other preferences that we never give an orientation label and often called fetishes? Personally I would describe my experience of being a devotee as a preference over an orientation. And I agree with Dani, I don't care for devotee at all. It sounds so over the top lol Yes, preference is what I prefer as well, I somehow equaled orientation to preference but it is different, my non native English speaking making an appearance 😉
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Post by blueskye101 on Dec 16, 2019 23:23:43 GMT -5
Maybe we make up some Greek-based scientific-sounding word that ends with '-phile' lol. What's the Greek word for physical/sensory disability? Abasiophilia is the term for a general attraction to people with physical disabilities. Not sure about sensory disabilities. Lol. That’s even worse. I hate the labeling. You will get a different answer from every “dev”. I feel it’s my orientation but others dont. We all are so different but we can certainly try to understand and support each other. I love my little dev family. Wish I had found it and understood when still young. Too much wasted time 😒
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manicpixiememegirl
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Posts: 112
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by manicpixiememegirl on Dec 16, 2019 23:53:03 GMT -5
I definitely wasn't advocating that we switch to the clinical term lol. Feels too much like being the subject of some sort of psychology experiment haha
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brinzerdecalli
Full Member
I hope to encounter some interesting and uniquely minded people.
Posts: 217
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by brinzerdecalli on Dec 17, 2019 3:38:40 GMT -5
The interesting thing is a lot of people identify devness as an enthusiasm and passion for learning about disabled people, but at the same time don't like the word devotee. Devotee just means someone who has a special investment and "devotion" to something. There's sports devotees and religion devotees. Somehow the fetishizing of disabled people became the main modern meaning of devotee. Even the phrasing paraplegic devotee is not fully encompassing of what we call devness, and only a small subset of devs are specifically interested in only paraplegic people.
I also first think developer when I hear dev, @caustic-crip . It's a shame, cause otherwise, all the tech meetups I go to could be a lot more fun... lol
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blindLeap
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The right-side-up edition
Posts: 192
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by blindLeap on Dec 17, 2019 6:04:53 GMT -5
Hahaha dev for developer and devotee is a daily thing for me Talking about dev tools just becomes funny after a few times
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Post by missparkle on Dec 17, 2019 6:38:35 GMT -5
The interesting thing is a lot of people identify devness as an enthusiasm and passion for learning about disabled people, but at the same time don't like the word devotee. Devotee just means someone who has a special investment and "devotion" to something. The word devotee itself would be pretty appropriate for our feelings, enthusiasm and exaggerated interest in disability world. We "hate" it because it carries negative connotation and burden from past. For many of us, exploring our somewhat different feelings and stumbling upon definition of "devotee" was quite traumatic experience, especially 20 years ago. Believe me, everything you could find on the subject was pretty bad.
I believe we can draw parallel with word queer and gay. Today person who identifies themselves as gay is comfortable with that word, but is not comfortable with word queer. If someone finds this to be wrong, I apologize, English is not my native language and therefore I may not be able to feel the subtle nuances.
Or, it has just crossed my mind! Do you prefer to be called cripple or person with disability?
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