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Post by MarineAmp on Apr 6, 2011 12:11:40 GMT -5
and on another note..... so many seem to preach confidence on here, if we are so confident why r we even here. im just saying Reading this gives me the impression that all single guys in here don't have confidence so they came here in hopes of finding a desperate dev. Maybe there is truth in that from the guy's standpoint, but I don't think you're going to get very far with that type of thinking.
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Post by MarineAmp on Apr 1, 2011 15:29:05 GMT -5
Hi Emma, I can understand this is a difficult area for devs but perhaps I can put the other side of how disabled people may think and operate. Did he actually say you’re meant to be all over him because he’s in a chair or was that your interpretation of the conversation? If he did say that then I agree he’s clearly missing the point, especially as you are clear in your PD status. Hey Phil, I can totally sympathize with a lot of the guys out here. For the guys that received an injury and are now trying to get back in the dating world, it can be a difficult depressing road. I don't know what the average turn around for a single guy who received a disabling injury and then being with a woman post injury. It took me about a year, and that was a very long year. However I had spurts that lasted that long when I had legs as well, including the 18 years until I did finally lose my virginity. This guy that Emma is talking about was definitely on the sketchy side. I know the whole conversation wasn't on the board, but there wouldn't have been much of a conversation if it was just up to my wife. She called bullsh*t on the guy pretty early, but I wanted to keep it going to see what these types of conversations turn into. So the guy was actually talking to me for the most part. He sent a couple of pictures of him in a chair, and he was pretty consistently asking what I/my wife thought of them. He wasn't overly aggressive with the conversation, but the second Emma said she's getting off the computer, the guy asked if she had ever been with a DAK amputee. We had a pretty good laugh, because if this guy just read her intro thing at the bottom of one of her posts then he would have seen that yes in fact she has been, and probably very recently. I had even mentioned my existence to this guy before this, and yet he still was asking about my wife's sexual life.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 28, 2011 19:50:28 GMT -5
She's like "do I have a lump on my breast?"
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 26, 2011 20:26:36 GMT -5
To have a job or not to have a job......personally I like not having a job. Granted my VA income is higher than the standard disability money the typical civilian receives, but I really enjoy not being tied down to a job. I do run a non-profit adaptive sports program which is starting to become more time consuming lately, but playing sports is one of the few things that truly makes me happy, and I consider running the non-profit like a hobby. Other than that, I chill at home and go on frequent trips, most are sports related and my wife is there for most of them. It is also kind of nice saying I've been retired since the age of 25.
I was initially thinking of teaching high school govt. and coaching track, and I did go back to school and received a degree, but during that time is when I started the non-profit so my focus shifted to that.
So no I'm not entirely sitting around doing nothing, but I don't think I work more than 3-5 hours a week, if none at all. And when I am putting in 20 hour weeks, it is going to be 90% playing or coaching a sport. I don't think I'd trade my set up for many other jobs.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 13, 2011 12:14:24 GMT -5
I have to agree with persephone. I really enjoy these types of threads, it's ok if things get a little heated, but let's not get too carried away.
I thought the part about the UK being an isolationist was interesting, I never really heard much about that before.
Wonk's timeline of the war was interesting, but very much over simplified with the politics of what was going on then. World War uno had been over for about 20 years at this point, so all the soldiers who fought and survived that war were now in office back in the states, and there was just no way the U.S. was going to enter another world war, without first being attacked, so you should actually thank the Japanese for attacking the U.S. (which was brought about because of all the trade embargoes placed on them).
At the same time, U.S. civilians and military personnel were joining forces with other nations and still fighting in both World Wars long before the U.S. officially joined in.
I think an important point about this, is the govt. may be a representative of the people, but it doesn't ever speak for all the people.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 13, 2011 0:45:03 GMT -5
Don't kid yourself that you were there to help the Kurds, or that you were there to destroy the Weapons of Mass Destruction.. which never existed. True in the overall sense of things, there was a lot more than coming into save the Kurds. That being said, I personally and our units mission never had anything to do with guarding oil fields, or and we certainly weren't the ones looking for WMD's. My first deployment was providing security for a town and helping restore electricity on a consistent level, rebuilding their local police force, handing out humanitarian rations, even going out in town and buying stuff, putting some money into their economy. My second deployment was entirely different. Terrorist groups and even local groups inside the city were battling over who was in charge, and we were much more combat orientated that go around, and it was literally killing bad guys and trying to hand a city back over to it's people. Third deployment was a mix of the two, still had a lot of conflict, but that is because we were organizing the first election under the new govt. and terrorists were doing all they could to kill or scare people off from going to vote. The police were pretty independent by this point, and the Iraqi army was starting to lead missions on their own. I was only there for about the first 3 years of the whole thing, but a lot was accomplished, and nothing we did (besides try to stay alive during the process) was for the benefit of anybody except the people in the city we were in.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 12, 2011 12:16:37 GMT -5
Wow, I just... Didn't understand that whole post. If referring to America's military, it worries me that so many troops are sent overseas without even being told about the situation they'll be in, and they don't understand what their country even has to do with said conflict. America should have withdrawn it's troops years ago from Iraq and the surrounding countries, same with Australia and the UK. Both Aus and the UK have wanted to pull out but America keeps forcing their hand. "one more year and we'll all leave." like that'll f*cking happen. General Circle I didn't realize you had so much experience in Iraq and you were such an international relations expert as well. If you wanted to make the argument about not even going to Iraq you would have been better off, but pulling the troops out early would have screwed over Iraq even more than just continue letting Saddam run things, (you know....the guy that killed 1% of his countries population a year....the guy who used chemical weapons on the Kurds) If we left early, Iraq would be ran by terrorist groups, or probably would have entered a civil war. Don't worry about the troops not knowing what's going on. We get the news, we are there on the ground and seeing what is actually working and not working. Also nobody was drafted into this conflict, a lot of the people in the military now, have joined during a time of war, and many people in this country are patriotic and join knowing that they could lose their life. And from first hand experience the guys coming home with permanent disabilities are pretty well taken care of.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 11, 2011 20:03:40 GMT -5
You guys just choose to complain about it. "What have they ever done for us..." etc. Don't always need to be returning a favour, maybe just give them one to start off with and your relationship will improve. That being said, the images from Japan have come flooding in this morning. Looks bloody horrific. This is crap, no other nation helps others in need more than America. It's not just the govt. either, we have so many charitable organizations that give millions to help people in other countries. I'm sorry if we have ignorant Americans that don't know their own state capital, let alone what is going on else where in the world, but we tend to help others better than we help our own sometimes.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 7, 2011 12:41:17 GMT -5
Not taking anything personally, she did chat with me. I just didnt want her thinking I messaged her because I thought she was "available/attainable". I doubt she was referring to me, but who knows? I may have misunderstood her original statement. I thought she was saying... because she has a yahoo id that people automatically assume she is attainable. Im going to assume that because she does have her yahoo ID next to her avatar that she is welcoming people to chat. That to me seems like "available". Ay ay ay I have a headache. Now... if someone has their yahoo ID status as "available" in the "looking, married, single" category why would they assume or know they were married? I can see where that could be the case if she just said she was a devotee and welcomes all comers to come chat with her. However if anyone takes the time to read the "signature" then you should know that she isn't seeking out a bunch of guys to drool over her. Being her husband I am around for quite a few of these guys who see that's she's a devotee and start a conversation saying "hi I'm in a wheelchair." I generally encourage her to mess with you guys, but she is pretty straight forward in finding out what their intentions are, and it usually is some guy hoping to be her sexual fantasy. This doesn't just come from all the disabled guys, but from pretenders, wannabes, and a whole array of unusual requests.
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Post by MarineAmp on Feb 15, 2011 17:56:58 GMT -5
Seeing how Emma is my wife, and she gets to come to a lot of the adaptive sporting events I go to, I totally think the same thing. I'm actually going to a huge event Thursday that lasts 10 days long and is going to have a little less than 200 guys there. Not everyone will be in chairs, but about 1 in 10 will probably be in one, maybe more maybe less. I guess I can tell you in a couple of days.
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Post by MarineAmp on Feb 9, 2011 4:03:15 GMT -5
Marine: I was talking with a friend the other day about the changes since my injury. There weren't many amputees my age to look to for support, advice, coaching. The people I was introduced to were older, mostly victims of diabetes/circulation issues. The wars, and all of you guys coming back from them, have made a difference for the rest of us as there's been a jump start to research and development (C-legs are now available, and somewhat affordable, for example). Trauma's never easy to recover from, but I think you guys have the advantage of having peers in age, experience, circumstance, and outlook that a congenital or even a civilian wouldn't have. I wish I could say that what I experienced through my rehab was the same for everyone, but I have to agree with you completely. I was injured with 6 other people, 3 are DAK (4 if you count myself), 1 is a SAK, 1 was a burn victim (looks like he has permanent sun tan now) and one died. I haven't seen the burn victim since the injury except for on facebook, but it was huge benefit going through rehab with guys I that I served with. Even though we were injured at the same time, I still had them to help guide me along. This because I spent the first 2 months in ICU, when the rest of the guys spent anywhere from 6 hours to 6 days at the longest. Then I had to also deal with muscle atrophy. Plus there were already guys way ahead of us that all of us could turn towards for guidance. I have done quite a few interviews since my injury and every now and then I get asked about the quality of service I received. I always answered that question saying that I would much rather have gone through this whole event while being in the military vs. being a civilian, unless you're a multi-millionaire. Money was never an issue during my recovery. Prosthetic work I can't say the same for, but it has the appearance of money not being an issue. I think the biggest difference is the support system. The military flew my parents, grandparents, and my brothers out to see me. They put my parents up in lodging for about 3 months. Plus there are so many organizations out there designed for disabled veterans. Although no amount of money could have ever been enough for me to willingly amputate my legs, my retirement pay isn't a huge sum of money, but it is plenty to live off of, and having free medical care for the rest of my life is pretty nice. Plus other benefits that my wife is able to use and future kids will also be able to use. I don't know the background of your injury, but you if you were injured while on active duty then you should also have these benefits. I do feel very fortunate to have had all the support that I received and continue to receive. Who I am really grateful for is all the veterans who went before me and fought for the benefits that I now have.
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Post by MarineAmp on Feb 5, 2011 15:17:07 GMT -5
Do most or all devs in here choose to initiate contact with potential disabled partners through the computer only or do you any of you actually go out into the real world to try and do this? If you don't go into the real world why not? Do you just not know where to look or is it a scary concept for you? I was just thinking the other day that I go to a bunch of events throughout the year and there is always a wide spectrum of injuries there. And there are even more events that I don't go to with the same results. If any dev or wheelie in here is curious or wants to know more about the events I can go into more detail about it if there is an interest. Being extremely new to the devotee world (having really only just learned there was a “support group” if you will for women like myself – who find wheelchair bound men physically and sexually attractive) I have no idea *how* to start looking for a wheeler to call my own. I’ve known for several years that I have been drawn to disabled men and while I have never tried to change this attraction, I have been very closeted with the information due to the social stigma that is attached. (“What do you mean… why don’t you want to date a ‘normal’ guy... do you think you are not good/smart/pretty/etc enough to find a ‘normal’ guy…”) I would like to know more about how to meet a wheeler as well as how to approach one. As another devotee mentioned, going up to a complete stranger and just blurting out “Hi, I’m a devotee, let’s go out” doesn’t exactly sound like the best ice breaker. Maybe just one step up from “do you come here often” or “what’s your sign?” Maybe…. Obviously coming up and saying "hi, I'm a devotee" isn't a great idea. To be honest a lot of people probably have no idea what that is. I think Ruth says it perfectly, just be ready to have a normal conversation, or at least throw some nice long smiles with some good eye contact that might draw in whoever it is you're seeking. I do recommend bringing up the fact that you are dev before things get way too serious. Some people obviously have a problem with something new and especially something they don't understand. The more I talk about this subject the more I realize how much more difficult it is for devs to find a match with all the "little games" that you have to play to find a wheeler. I do think the safest way to avoid a lot of these games is online, however you start running into weirdos faster that way as well.
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Post by MarineAmp on Feb 5, 2011 15:03:44 GMT -5
I can imagine all the single wheelies in here grumbling under their breathe at E for linking that site. It would be interesting to see who does all like this site and try and figure out who's a dev, who's a faker, etc.
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Post by MarineAmp on Feb 5, 2011 15:00:36 GMT -5
It certainly looks cool, but unless it is operated electronically I don't see anyone pushing it, and I don't see anyone with legs sitting in it either. I think it would be cool if it could go up stairs, but I don't see anyone pushing any type of wheelchair up stairs unless there is some kind of assist device besides just changing the shape of the tire. Transferring to and from this thing looks like a pain also. It would surprise me if an actual wheelchair user came up with this concept.
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Post by MarineAmp on Jan 29, 2011 13:38:52 GMT -5
Thats the american war on terror lame
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