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Post by lisa on Apr 22, 2023 13:21:49 GMT -5
has anyone pursued this type of arrangement (FWB etc.) successfully in reality? What were your experiences like? What works and what doesn't? I have pursued it a number of times actually. I am in a long-term, committed relationship with an AB guy. He has known about my devness for the whole time, I told him right at the start when we got close. And he is okay with me dating another guy, as long as this guy is a PWD and does not "threaten" our relationship. It's not always the easiest thing to do (my partner is unfortunately not very strong on communication) but it has helped me tremendously to be more satisfied in life. I have also been lucky enough to have met some great PWD guys over the years with who I was able to share time and fondness and sexuality. I am very grateful for that. In my experience, the same things don't work that wouldn't work in a monogamous relationship either. If you're not compatible enough or if not all of the people involved are ready to invest something into the relationship, it won't be a long-term thing. (If you're only looking for short-term, I suppose it's a lot easier, but that's never been what I've been looking for.) The biggest challenge probably really is, as has been mentioned before, finding people compatible with this life choice and in general compatible with yourself.
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Post by Quad787 on Apr 23, 2023 23:38:35 GMT -5
has anyone pursued this type of arrangement (FWB etc.) successfully in reality? What were your experiences like? What works and what doesn't? I have pursued it a number of times actually. I am in a long-term, committed relationship with an AB guy. He has known about my devness for the whole time, I told him right at the start when we got close. And he is okay with me dating another guy, as long as this guy is a PWD and does not "threaten" our relationship. It's not always the easiest thing to do (my partner is unfortunately not very strong on communication) but it has helped me tremendously to be more satisfied in life. I have also been lucky enough to have met some great PWD guys over the years with who I was able to share time and fondness and sexuality. I am very grateful for that. In my experience, the same things don't work that wouldn't work in a monogamous relationship either. If you're not compatible enough or if not all of the people involved are ready to invest something into the relationship, it won't be a long-term thing. (If you're only looking for short-term, I suppose it's a lot easier, but that's never been what I've been looking for.) The biggest challenge probably really is, as has been mentioned before, finding people compatible with this life choice and in general compatible with yourself. This is along the lines of the type of arrangement I'm best suited for. Where there is a genuine connection and a willingness to invest time and energy towards a longer-term relationship, enhanced by devness, but tempered by the understanding that the relationship has boundaries and may, for any number of reasons, end up being transitory.
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Post by devman1950 on Apr 24, 2023 13:02:33 GMT -5
I'm with you totally Michael. Would you like to chat ?
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Post by Dani on Apr 24, 2023 16:06:56 GMT -5
Who is Michael???
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Post by infinatedreams on Apr 24, 2023 16:34:04 GMT -5
We could turn this into a spartacus thingy 'I am michael'
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Post by ayla on Apr 24, 2023 17:03:44 GMT -5
Quad787 is Michael, it says so in his profile. But the bigger question is why devman1950 is always blatantly hitting on the straight guys...
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Post by infinatedreams on Apr 24, 2023 17:17:25 GMT -5
maybe the straight guy is bendy? and some fishing is going on?
I dont really see the issue with anybody asking anyone 'if they care to chat' ... thats a better approach than some random DM. As long as the response is respected then cool. No reply (take the hint) a No thanks (respect that).
personally i wouldnt be interested in chatting to someone who is repeatedly asking folk if they care to chat. but thats just me, some other guys might be interested.
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Post by Quad787 on Apr 24, 2023 17:36:28 GMT -5
Quad787 is Michael, it says so in his profile. But the bigger question is why devman1950 is always blatantly hitting on the straight guys... I'm glad you were able to solve the mystery of my name versus username. I really loved the Spartacus idea. Reminds me of any time I've been in a place with a crowd against the yell out the name Michael. Every head turns. And just for the record, definitely not bendy. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And I appreciate ayla looking out for me. But I can handle it. I've come to embrace the non-reply, Lol
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Post by infinatedreams on Apr 24, 2023 17:44:41 GMT -5
shame we couldnt keep Spartacus going a bit longer Quad787 as for the 'no reply' it really can be the best way as for some a 'no thanks' doesnt compute 🤷♂️
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Post by Quad787 on Apr 24, 2023 18:07:21 GMT -5
shame we couldnt keep Spartacus going a bit longer Quad787 as for the 'no reply' it really can be the best way as for some a 'no thanks' doesnt compute 🤷♂️ Generally speaking, I'm a much bigger fan of the no thanks than the non reply. Assuming the initial message wasn't obscene, rude, inflammatory, Etc., of course. But I fall short of that standard myself, sometimes.
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Post by Dani on Apr 24, 2023 19:52:34 GMT -5
Shows how I don't pay attention sometimes
But I guess that it's wonderful when a member wants to chat and connect with every PWD over a span of 13 years.
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Post by Quad787 on Apr 24, 2023 23:27:25 GMT -5
Shows how I don't pay attention sometimes But I guess that it's wonderful when a member wants to chat and connect with every PWD over a span of 13 years. He's consistent, if nothing else. Even if a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
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Post by infinatedreams on Apr 25, 2023 2:44:36 GMT -5
Shows how I don't pay attention sometimes Oh Dani nothing to do with not paying attention, with the bevy of wheeler dudes im suprised your able to function at all and not instead just a yummy puddle of melted lushness 😋
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Post by Dani on Apr 25, 2023 10:57:04 GMT -5
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Post by ayla on Apr 25, 2023 13:33:03 GMT -5
I'm not the flirting police, I just call out a chronic pattern when I see one. I'm particularly prickly when I see a dev (male or female) dabbling in the "unwanted overtures" territory -- the very thing devs are most often criticized for doing. Maybe I overshot the mark here.
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