cripman33
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Post by cripman33 on Jun 30, 2024 17:40:06 GMT -5
I'm just going to level with y'all: it's been 370 days since I felt any kind of sexual touch (including myself) and I am starting to mentally and emotionally unravel. Sex work is unfortunately illegal where I live, but I'm sure it's still possible and I passed "desperate" about a month ago. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to safely and dependably solicit sex workers in a place where it is illegal? Really hate to ask, but "desperate times" and all that...
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pyrat
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Post by pyrat on Jun 30, 2024 21:08:17 GMT -5
I'm just going to level with y'all: it's been 370 days since I felt any kind of sexual touch (including myself) and I am starting to mentally and emotionally unravel. Sex work is unfortunately illegal where I live, but I'm sure it's still possible and I passed "desperate" about a month ago. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to safely and dependably solicit sex workers in a place where it is illegal? Really hate to ask, but "desperate times" and all that... probably travel to where it's legal. otherwise there's always lots of risk involved, from stds to being robbed
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goldemsr
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Post by goldemsr on Jul 1, 2024 2:19:35 GMT -5
I'm just going to level with y'all: it's been 370 days since I felt any kind of sexual touch (including myself) and I am starting to mentally and emotionally unravel. Sex work is unfortunately illegal where I live, but I'm sure it's still possible and I passed "desperate" about a month ago. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to safely and dependably solicit sex workers in a place where it is illegal? Really hate to ask, but "desperate times" and all that... I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to wish you good luck, man! I also think you shouldn't feel bad for asking, as it's a normal thing to crave. It's been six years for me and I know how much missing that sucks.
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Post by britishtetra on Jul 1, 2024 4:33:34 GMT -5
It’s been 34 years for me lads, trust me it doesn’t get any easier 👍
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mswarrior1
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Post by mswarrior1 on Jul 1, 2024 8:42:21 GMT -5
There’s always an AMP rub and tug place nearby I’m sure. Not that I’ve ever been to one of those😉 it will at least tide you over.
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Jul 1, 2024 9:05:43 GMT -5
I went 4 years between partners last time. That is almost 1500 days. Didn't really mind all that much. 🤷♂️
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wheelsthrowaway1989
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Post by wheelsthrowaway1989 on Jul 1, 2024 14:09:00 GMT -5
I'm 34 and haven't ever had sexual contact and it's been 10 years since I could do anything about it myself. I feel your pain, but I couldn't ever really hire a sex worker, it would feel empty.
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pyrat
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Post by pyrat on Jul 2, 2024 8:55:10 GMT -5
I'm 34 and haven't ever had sexual contact and it's been 10 years since I could do anything about it myself. I feel your pain, but I couldn't ever really hire a sex worker, it would feel empty. Are you sure? If it’s the movies stereotype where the girl is hating it but doesn’t really have a choice cause she needs the money - sure, I agree with you. Have you given a surrogate a thought? This is a legit question, I haven’t done this either.
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wheelsthrowaway1989
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Post by wheelsthrowaway1989 on Jul 2, 2024 11:17:05 GMT -5
I'm 34 and haven't ever had sexual contact and it's been 10 years since I could do anything about it myself. I feel your pain, but I couldn't ever really hire a sex worker, it would feel empty. Are you sure? If it’s the movies stereotype where the girl is hating it but doesn’t really have a choice cause she needs the money - sure, I agree with you. Have you given a surrogate a thought? This is a legit question, I haven’t done this either. I don't even know how to go about finding a surrogate. I would consider it if I knew more about it and thought it was a fit. I don't think of it the same as sex work.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2024 22:51:09 GMT -5
Are you sure? If it’s the movies stereotype where the girl is hating it but doesn’t really have a choice cause she needs the money - sure, I agree with you. Have you given a surrogate a thought? This is a legit question, I haven’t done this either. I don't even know how to go about finding a surrogate. I would consider it if I knew more about it and thought it was a fit. I don't think of it the same as sex work. I wouldn't be able to do it either. I'm 36 and haven't had any kind of contact myself. Never even been kissed, on the cheek let alone the mouth. Empty would be a pretty good way to describe the feeling it would give me also. If it was a sex worker there's absolutely no way I'd be able to escape the feeling of the only reason you're doing any of this is because I paid you to give me this experience and you don't really feel any of these things. If it's a sex worker, from what I understand they are there to help you under the premise of therapy, but even still, for me how do you actually build the feelings and relationship necessary to engage in sexual contact when you know that there is absolutely nothing that can happen long-term with this particular person? I guess that's where I'm different because I'm not just looking for a vagina to enter into, I can't do things that way I've got to know the person and have some type of relationship but not just a relationship a meaningful one
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gentlegiant
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Post by gentlegiant on Jul 8, 2024 3:14:22 GMT -5
I'm just going to level with y'all: it's been 370 days since I felt any kind of sexual touch (including myself) and I am starting to mentally and emotionally unravel. Sex work is unfortunately illegal where I live, but I'm sure it's still possible and I passed "desperate" about a month ago. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to safely and dependably solicit sex workers in a place where it is illegal? Really hate to ask, but "desperate times" and all that... probably travel to where it's legal. otherwise there's always lots of risk involved, from stds to being robbed STDs don´t care about legality. Just saying ;-)
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pyrat
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Post by pyrat on Jul 10, 2024 2:53:01 GMT -5
probably travel to where it's legal. otherwise there's always lots of risk involved, from stds to being robbed STDs don´t care about legality. Just saying ;-) Yeah they do. Legal specifically refers to prostitution, legalization gives access to health benefits and makes a clean environment, access and asking to use condoms more likely.
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jakeonwheels
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Post by jakeonwheels on Jul 16, 2024 17:54:40 GMT -5
Pre-amble - My information and advice comes from having friends who are sex workers, working with SWOP (Sex Workers Outreach Project), and having several exes who were porn actors:
The way to meet and hire sex workers (at least in the US) was sites like backpage and rentboy ten years ago and since then because of sex work laws they have been up and down and up and down ever since. I don't know the current status of those pages but they may be worth checking out.
It seems like many sex workers have moved to a self promotion/influencer model. Meaning, you can find them on onlyfans and pages like that. People making video content also sometimes will book in person sessions.
If I was looking to hire a sex worker now I would check onlyfans or a comparable site that is run in your location. Pick someone you vibe with not too many followers so they have time and incentive to interact with your comments etc... From there you ask about in person, from there you ask if they have any referrals.
Here's why establishing this relationship is important: Sex workers who are working for themselves or in a collective where they are actually being treated with dignity and paid their fair share are not going to meet with someone new. Sex work is *dangerous* so workers really rely on things like referrals, word of mouth, etc... If you contact a sex worker that you don't know it's pretty standard for them to ask for referrals from another sex worker and/or go to their social spaces to ask each other if they've heard of/or have experiences with new clients. So being respectful and clear about what you want and don't want, as well as tipping (20%) is what will open the doors of that world to you.
Honestly if you can make friends with someone who does sex work that's the best way. You also then know that they're referring you to someone *they* trust, bc just like any other class of workers there are wonderful people, shitty people, and everyone in between.
One of the most helpful reframes I had around sex work while I was unlearning my own biases was someone said this to me: "Think of your sex worker like a therapist. They are there for you, to provide a relational service. The energy in the relationship flows one way but that doesn't make it not a relationship. That doesn't mean they don't care about you, your well being as a person, etc... Many of the sex workers I know *only* work with their repeat clients now. They have established therapeutic, pleasurable relationships that often look like a romantic friendship."
If you want to read up or learn more about hiring sex workers as a disabled man you should check out Andrew Gurza, that's something that he talks about a lot and it really helped others in my life understand why this is an access need. He's a queer man so you may not get practical advice on where to look but if you ever need the verbiage to explain to someone in your life why this is an important and legitimate access need you'll find everything you need there.
Best of luck my guy, remember: consensual, safer, respectful fun! And if I may recommend, if you can afford someone who offers "The Girlfriend Experience" it sounds so nice. Usually someone who does this will keep an extra apartment where they can meet clients, you can spend the day and the night together, there's sex, but there's also conversation and hanging out if you guys click and get along. (If you don't click you will usually be refunded and the worker will leave, but this is something that workers usually reserve for safety concerns.) You can get takeout and watch tv and snuggle or whatever. I have a friend who used to do this so I'd hear about it and frankly it sounds AMAZING.
Hope this was helpful to you in some way. Rooting for you.
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speedy
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Post by speedy on Jul 16, 2024 20:41:37 GMT -5
It's probably not the response that you want, but I just don't concern myself with it. I'm almost 25 and still a virgin, but I know that counting the days will always make it worse. My advice would be to focus on other things like your career, goals, or friends and just let it come naturally.
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anthony
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Post by anthony on Jul 19, 2024 8:01:47 GMT -5
Don't do it man it is not worth it. There's way too many risks with very little reward. I've never done anything like that myself and I never would no matter how desperate I am. I had a buddy that did once he was in a chair and they basically stole his wallet LOL! I really felt bad for the dude I couldn't imagine that happening. Even if you do you probably feel terrible afterwards. That's just my two cents
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