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Post by sittingpretty on Apr 21, 2008 23:07:02 GMT -5
Thanks Doll(y)!!
And just for the record, Laurasweetou I've read the dev only section, who hasn't?! I don't really have much to say about the reasoning for it all. I mean, I don't see any option except that it has to be that way. I believe on some level that there is a partner (maybe a few) for everyone. You know the whole soul mate bit, so I guess with that in mind its innevitable that devo's would arise. Make sense? I could be too stoned and drifting off...
There is one part to it that I still inquire about, and thats the turn ons. Everyone seems to have their own preference and it intriques me but I suppose when it all boils down that is just me being a pervert!
Ok..
Gonna stop there
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Post by sittingpretty on Apr 21, 2008 23:14:11 GMT -5
One more thing,...
Sorry for saying I figured the man behind the site was a woman! Maybe I misinterpreted cause he's gay?! Or.. the obvious, I'm an idiot!
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Post by Claire on Apr 22, 2008 7:49:21 GMT -5
And that's why this board is such a special place on the web and really valuable in terms of studying devoteeism. Because we don't get bogged down in picture sharing and chasing down potential dates, as do the sites that are for male devs of female wheelers/amps. It's a great thing if we female devs can put a human face on the dev experience, so that even female wheelers, who usually only have contact with male devs (a certain percentage of which are unsavory) can better understand devoteeism in general. And maybe through that, we can make things better for the male devotees who are sincere and decent as we are. I don't want this place to change, and an influx in male devotees would indeed change the character of this place drastically, and not for the better. It's just too bad that decent people like Art and SittingPretty don't feel entirely comfortable about posting here. I don't know the answer though. I don't really have much to say about the reasoning for it all. I mean, I don't see any option except that it has to be that way. That's it...there's no option, because we didn't choose it, and it doesn't ever go away. We can't turn it off. It just is. It's just how we are. I have often wondered the same myself...if there's a "reason" for it all. It seems to make sense, and I personally do tend to think that there's a reason for everything...but then you very seldom hear about devotees successfully getting together with disabled partners. I'm not sure what you mean here, but you can be totally honest and frank and I think you'll get an equally honest and frank answer. I'm not afraid of the tough questions and many of the other devs here aren't either. |
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Post by BA on Apr 22, 2008 21:52:18 GMT -5
I ask myself: What is truly perverse? The only answer I can come up with is sex that involves a non-consenting party: animals, children and the dead. Anything else is up for grabs.
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Post by natasha on Apr 22, 2008 22:04:19 GMT -5
Welcome Miss Sitting Pretty  ....I also say that I have no problema with you staying in here..Actually looking forward to read your posts..Even though this is for male wheelers and girls Dev's I think is cool that a female wheeler can bring her perspective in also..... its a lot of interesting and smart people in here...pd, just be aware of the Canadians around here, they're evil!!  |
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Post by Sova on Apr 22, 2008 23:59:40 GMT -5
just be aware of the Canadians around here, they're evil!! lol fucking right |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2008 17:56:50 GMT -5
What do you mean evil? Like Dr. Evil, evil? Or United States politician evil? Well with Celine Dion....its hard to buck that label...but come on....
Hey Sitting pretty....a year in huh? fuckmeinthegoatass. How are you coping? what sweet sweet misery. I was the most miserable beast at that time. I'm a wheeler myself, coming up on 15 years. Welcome.
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Post by natasha on Apr 25, 2008 18:13:27 GMT -5
hahaha..Celine Dion!! Dont tell anyone but sometimes I listen to her  ....Do u ever meet a Canadian?? ..... |
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Post by dolly on Apr 25, 2008 20:01:12 GMT -5
Do u ever meet a Canadian?? ..... hint: look at his name! there are probably more of us here than you think.... but at least we know for sure what you think of us. |
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Post by natasha on Apr 25, 2008 21:30:31 GMT -5
ahhhh Dolly I don't think you're evil...Its just that I have been constantly harass by one mean Canadian in here and I'm getting defensive!! ... |
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Post by Ouch on Apr 25, 2008 22:39:17 GMT -5
lol I've gotten kicked out of a restuarant for joking about Celine...
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Post by natasha on Apr 26, 2008 9:59:40 GMT -5
OK, gotta say that IM not really being harass so bad as I said... .Im going to make an effort to start liking Canadians at least a little....  |
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Post by sittingpretty on Apr 26, 2008 21:57:30 GMT -5
Again, Thanks for the welcomes!
Don't worry Natasha, I never leave home without my Anti-Canadian Spray!
MellowCancuck, what got you in the chair? 15 yrs.. I can't imagine. One day I will! It's definitly some sweet misery. I've actually done 'ok' handling this all. I guess you either keep your head up or hold it down, I decided I was going to stay positive and "try", whatever that means! I do admit I had a breakdown earlier today, surrounding it all. I can't believe Im at a year. I have been holding off completely adapting to this lifestyle in hopes of a recovery. Bcause of that I havent really accepted my life. I accept me, just not much else.. Its a complete mind f*ck, it overwhelms me when I think about it. I hate expressing the way it makes me feel its so superficial in my eyes but thats probably been my biggest fault, not grieving...
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Post by cunning69guy on Apr 26, 2008 23:09:48 GMT -5
Sitting Pretty,
As a wheeler with 15 years "experience", I first offer you an unfortunate welcome to Paradevo (most of us wheelers would be happier not knowing about chairs or devos).
As to "adapting to this lifestyle", there's the evolutionist's phrase, "Adapt or die". I'm not recommending the latter, but as one who hasn't passed the 3rd stage of grief (I've passed denial and anger in 15 years, but I'm not sure I'll ever reach acceptance) I recommend moving forward as quickly as possible so that 14 years from now you have no regrets.
As a former research biologist and an incomplete, I never "bought into" the Christopher Reeve "cure cult". However, if there is a chance of recovery, I offer you this advice:
First, as I stated above, get started adapting to this lifestyle! Depression (not the occasional breakdown) is counter-productive. If you're angry or bitter, channel that into something constructive like rehab and exercise.
Second, speaking of rehab and exercise, do it daily. Not only does it help with ADL's but if some cure should come along, the stronger your body is, the more likely you will be helped (this includes rehabbing your lower limbs, not just your functional parts, because working neurons won't help you ambulate if you ignore the muscles that they are to innervate).
Third, do all you can to continue your education to it's maximal potential and then get yourself established in the workforce.
Fourth, surround yourself with family and friends and positivity, love and help, no matter how independent you want to be. I'm not saying live at home (don't), but don't isolate yourself, and without becoming dependent on them, allow your family and friends to help you out at times, whether you think you can do it alone or not (you'll get plenty of chances to do whatever it is yourself when they are not around).
Fifth, don't be afraid to love or feel unworthy of it. Find the right person if you can and commit to a partner and family as well as your career.
And lastly, especially at your stage of transition, seek counseling and support, from professionals, other wheelers, etc. to help you through the transition process with the minimum of "breakdowns" and the support you require through the grieving process, so that you can at last reach that ultimate stage of grieving, ACCEPTANCE, with all your life's goals and the means to reach them already in place.
Good luck in your journey, "grass-hopper", I mean roller "!
B
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Post by sittingpretty on Apr 27, 2008 1:23:44 GMT -5
Hello there Cunning,
Thanks for the guidelines! I guess I should have been more specific in my last post when I mentioned the grieving, wasnt the right word. Ive completely gone through all the emotions, in fact I'm somewhere between the dis and reorganizational phases. I guess by not grieving I meant not allowing myself to dwell on what I've lost. That what seems so superficial, crying over my old lifestyle. It was a constant party, no real depth. No real loss, other than mobility.. ya know?! But then on a different level I know that the trauma alone, despite what one has pre injury, is enough to do the job... I dont know.. just thoughts.
I guess I'm at that point in my life where I want to get on with things but I dont know where to start.. Im incomplete, I do exercise (not as much as I wish I did) but I do constantly make progress.. Slowly but surely... So that keeps me in this limbo, do I plan a life as I am now, or do I wait? And how much waiting is too much?
Im not idle in my life. Ive been through the isolation n angry issues, those were the easy stages..I guess its the denial that wont go away...it fucks with me, brings me false hope than slaps me with reality. Every morning is shitty when you live in denial, I hate waking up paralyzed. Grr. I wish a day would come and this would be 'just the way it is' not a struggle. I suppose that sounds alot like acceptance but I'm positive its the denial.
As for the therapies you recommended, I am all for it and going to see one already. It helps a ton because I've got so much I want to say but I feel as though I'm burdening people with my internal issues. At least this way I can just get it all off my chest...
Sorry to turn this into some SCI post...
Have a good one!
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....I also say that I have no problema with you staying in here..Actually looking forward to read your posts..Even though this is for male wheelers and girls Dev's I think is cool that a female wheeler can bring her perspective in also.....
....Do u ever meet a Canadian?? .....
