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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Feb 26, 2011 18:27:28 GMT -5
I know this has been mentioned before, but I'm still curious, and it came up again in general board... Flirting with an AB guy feels more like an experiment to me, since the results are only interesting in an intellectual way. I'm horrible!!! From Ruth: I do find some AB guys attractive, but it's nowhere NEAR the gut-level reaction I have to a hot wheeler. Whenever I read my "smut books" as my mother calls them, I'd get to a scene where the female lead "just couldn't resist" and I didn't understand that level of sexual attraction! Some of that could be romance authors' BS, I don't know. The only way I could ever imagine that kind of intensity personally would have to be with a wheeler. During my (very limited!) wheeler experiences, I was always too nervous to let the dev out. God, now I'm going to have "Let the dogs out" stuck in my head. Fantastic.
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Post by faith on Feb 26, 2011 18:46:17 GMT -5
Some AB guys are very, very hot. I "should" feel attracted to them! lol... But no matter how hot, or how sexy they are, there is none of that gut response... that sensation that comes when a good looking wheeler comes into the room. That twinge is immediate and is just a gut response and I have never had it with an AB guy, no matter how hot he is. Not even once.
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Post by jordsbaby on Feb 26, 2011 19:49:23 GMT -5
Although I have that attraction to disabled men (I say disabled because I'm not predominantly attracted to wheelers most of the time) I'm dating an AB guy currently and I find him pretty sexy.
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 26, 2011 21:46:17 GMT -5
I can objectively evaluate an ab guy and find him to be attractive, but I don't have the desire in my body unless there's a disability of some kind.
I did feel a slight twinge of it a couple of times from kissing ab guys. I thought that I could somehow parlay that into sexual desire, but it didn't work.
There was one ab guy...there was something good there. I'll never know if it was just leftover desire because I slept with him right after breaking up with a quad who I was sleeping with twice a day and my body seriously missed it. The guy dumped me after two weeks, so I didn't have a chance to see if those feelings would fade.
The relationships I've had with non-disabled guys just don't seem fair to me or to them. I reached the decision not to date them anymore because I feel like they deserve to be with a woman who really wants them and desires them on that level. I can't do it. I have a terrible fear that I'd cheat with a hot disabled guy at the first opportunity.
I think everyone deserves to be with a partner who truly desires him or her.
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Post by allison101 on Feb 27, 2011 0:48:28 GMT -5
yes. both AB and disabled. But, like you guys said, i don't go off by looking at an AB guy like I do when a hot disabled guy comes around. (;
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Post by Emma on Feb 27, 2011 1:14:33 GMT -5
I agree with most of you. I don't get the same guy reaction with AB guys as with disabled guys. I too can find AB guys attractive but I am very picky in terms of their looks. For me to find an AB guy attractive they need very specific features (tall, good hair, typical hot guy chiseled face, decent body, good teeth, nice eyes......yadda yadda yadda). Whenever I found a new AB guy to date my friends always said well, he looks like your type. It's a little hard to explain but I definitely have a AB guy type.
The problem was that no matter how hot the guy was in my opinion and even if he was super nice and into me and all that, none of them ever did it for me in the way I expected, that way that is described by romance novel authors.
I dated a guy with CP once and while he was hot in my opinion and he was disabled and used a manual wheelchair I did not really get turned on in a strong dev way with him. I really also have a type for disabled guys too. While I like the same type of look (obviously tall isn't so much a factor) I really only like amputees. Its not just any disabled guy. i know many of you experience that feeling too.
Oh and Z28 letting your inner dev out, it is AMAZING!
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Post by Cake on Feb 27, 2011 8:45:26 GMT -5
I find AB guys VERY sexy. Just in a different way. I feel like for me, the two don't exclude one another. I feel very attracted to AB guys, and yes, sometimes in a way as it's described in romance novels, a la "I can't resist". I've been told that would change the moment I start a relationship with a wheeler, but honestly, I doubt it. There seems to be a huge difference between some of us when it comes to levels of devness. I think the fact that I don't have a hard time when it comes to feeling very attracted to AB guys speaks for itself. Funny thing: Most of you say it takes more for you to find an AB guy sexy, i.e. you automatically higher your standards when it comes to looks with an AB guy. I have no idea why, but for me it's just the opposite. Even though I'm definitely a dev, I kind of higher my standards when it comes to wheelers, I think...
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 27, 2011 9:47:37 GMT -5
I find AB guys VERY sexy. Just in a different way. I feel like for me, the two don't exclude one another. I feel very attracted to AB guys, and yes, sometimes in a way as it's described in romance novels, a la "I can't resist". I've been told that would change the moment I start a relationship with a wheeler, but honestly, I doubt it. There seems to be a huge difference between some of us when it comes to levels of devness. I think the fact that I don't have a hard time when it comes to feeling very attracted to AB guys speaks for itself. Funny thing: Most of you say it takes more for you to find an AB guy sexy, i.e. you automatically higher your standards when it comes to looks with an AB guy. I have no idea why, but for me it's just the opposite. Even though I'm definitely a dev, I kind of higher my standards when it comes to wheelers, I think... I have found it so interesting to see that we all really do have different experiences of devness in our lives. I, actually, have not had high standards at all for the ab guys I have dated. As complex human beings, there is a lot going on in our psychology, not just devness. I really do think I have a fear of men and I've felt safest with ab men who have been rejected by others. Wheelers have broken my heart worse than anyone else, so I don't find them to feel "safe" in experience, but I want to take the risk because that's where the passion is for me.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Feb 27, 2011 18:19:10 GMT -5
I am definitely very picky with AB guys, but I have a feeling that might be a mental construct to give me an excuse to not be attracted to a cute AB guy. Does that make sense?
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tuna
Full Member
Posts: 217
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Post by tuna on Feb 27, 2011 18:23:39 GMT -5
for me, thinking someone is sexy usually takes time, like a conversation, a spark... i can objectively say "yes. he's hot" but that just doesnt do anything to me. whether AB or disabled. 'desire' gradually builds. now if i am attracted to the AB guy i have to imagine him to be disabled for me to be able to at all perform sexually; i have tried to feel aroused with an AB guy without imagining a disablity and badly failed. so now, i dont bother. since i have never gotten a chance with a disabled guy, i just keep imagining the poor AB boys to be disabled. i dont know who to feel sorry for, me or the AB
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 27, 2011 18:41:17 GMT -5
for me, thinking someone is sexy usually takes time, like a conversation, a spark... i can objectively say "yes. he's hot" but that just doesnt do anything to me. whether AB or disabled. 'desire' gradually builds. now if i am attracted to the AB guy i have to imagine him to be disabled for me to be able to at all perform sexually; i have tried to feel aroused with an AB guy without imagining a disablity and badly failed. so now, i dont bother. since i have never gotten a chance with a disabled guy, i just keep imagining the poor AB boys to be disabled. i dont know who to feel sorry for, me or the AB I always feel so guilty about imagining them disabled, so the bedroom stuff never works well for me and the ab guys lol.
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 27, 2011 22:01:16 GMT -5
You know, what i have is two different kinds of crushes.
I have crushes on guys intellectually. Guys who I have things in common with, who I like to talk to, who challenge me and interest me on the level of the mind.
I have crushes on guys physically. This is where a disability is required.
So far there has been no overlap at all. The disabled guys I know have almost all been the "bad boy" type and don't blend well with my geekiness.
I'm still waiting for someone that I will be attracted to on both levels.
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Post by Valkyrja on Feb 27, 2011 22:42:20 GMT -5
My partner for the last 16 years is an AB guy... Like many of you know, I love a pretty and sexy wheeler but... I die for a wonderfull mind, a cult guy, a magnificent personality... so, I found that in an AB so... yes, I´m attracted by my guy. But I always felt attractions for both.
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tuna
Full Member
Posts: 217
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Post by tuna on Feb 28, 2011 9:35:30 GMT -5
You know, what i have is two different kinds of crushes. I have crushes on guys intellectually. Guys who I have things in common with, who I like to talk to, who challenge me and interest me on the level of the mind. I have crushes on guys physically. This is where a disability is required. So far there has been no overlap at all. The disabled guys I know have almost all been the "bad boy" type and don't blend well with my geekiness. I'm still waiting for someone that I will be attracted to on both levels. when the first kind of attraction happens-- the mental one, i have to imagine the disability to do the physical. thats how its been all my adult life
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Post by Devoblue on Feb 28, 2011 14:14:26 GMT -5
I was married to an AB guy and I always felt like something was missing. I don't know if that's strictly because of my unfulfilled dev side in that relationship or because of other problems between us. I can appreciate the attractiveness of an AB guy but like others I never get that thing in my stomach that sparks the excitement that a disabled guy does..not even close!
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