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Post by briangriffin111 on Apr 7, 2011 10:32:38 GMT -5
This is a tuff one, I would say that men are expected to be confident, but I don’t thing that you should pretend to be something that you are not because you will be found out sooner or later.
I think Phil says it well about it being hard for some disabled people to feel attractive, and that might show as a lack of confidence.
As for me, I wish is was nice and simple like when you were in first school.
If you liked a girl your mates would push you into her then runaway, then she knew that you liked her then you could play kiss chase if she liked you……..simples.
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Post by matisse on Apr 7, 2011 10:55:30 GMT -5
I disagree with this. I agree that confidence is a must have for me to find a guy attractive. However a man that allows his vulnerabilities to come out at times is sexy. It shows me he is real, and comfortable enough in our relationship to be honest. Someone "never" showing this side of himself to me would make me question what else he is trying to hide. Interested to hear from more of the guys on this.. Do you try to never show any vulnerability to a woman, or is there a point in a relationship where you feel it is ok? PS... Is this the reason why guys will never ask for directions?  ? God forbid you might be "lost"  Yeah, I also disagree. I would say the first few times I meet a guy, I don't want to see his insecurities. But once I get comfortable around him, the next step is to see his vulnerability. That is very endearing in someone that you care about. But when the first thing I see is a guy's insecurity it makes me wonder if he just spends his whole life feeling sorry for himself and is never happy. Is insecurity the same as vulnerability? I am not so sure. A guy who is very secure with himself likely has no issue with revealing his vulnerabilities. |
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Post by ruthmadison on Apr 7, 2011 11:00:40 GMT -5
Yeah, I also disagree. I would say the first few times I meet a guy, I don't want to see his insecurities. But once I get comfortable around him, the next step is to see his vulnerability. That is very endearing in someone that you care about. But when the first thing I see is a guy's insecurity it makes me wonder if he just spends his whole life feeling sorry for himself and is never happy. Is insecurity the same as vulnerability? I am not so sure. A guy who is very secure with himself likely has no issue with revealing his vulnerabilities. Excellent point! |
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Post by wheelieInCali on Apr 7, 2011 15:12:17 GMT -5
I will hide insecurities with strangers most of the time but I'm not an island. At some point you should let people in and show them your strengths and weaknesses. Oddly enough, the wheelchair isn't a huge source of insecurity for me. It's not something I can hide and even though there are a large number of people who will be deterred by it, there are also a lot of great people who aren't. If somebody doesn't want to be my friend or more because of the chair, it's no skin off my back. There are plenty of wonderful people out there who DO want to be with me, wheelchair and all.  |
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Post by Emma on Apr 7, 2011 21:29:27 GMT -5
Has anyone noticed that with all our discussion the original poster, weaponx has never responded to our feedback? Weaponx are you there? We would like to hear from you!
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Post by MarineAmp on Apr 8, 2011 12:54:06 GMT -5
and on another note..... so many seem to preach confidence on here, if we are so confident why r we even here. im just saying Reading this gives me the impression that all single guys in here don't have confidence so they came here in hopes of finding a desperate dev. Maybe there is truth in that from the guy's standpoint, but I don't think you're going to get very far with that type of thinking. MarineAmp no offense bro, but if u r trying to tell me that u have never felt self conscious about being in a wheelchair u r full of it. same goes for the ladies and their devness. im not here looking im here to learn because devs will always be a part of our lives in the disabled community. I never said I never had any difficulties, and I adjusted to my wheelchair with complete ease. I have to say that I'm probably always a little self conscious when I'm not in my natural environment, but I can still remain confident in most cases. It did take sometime initially to rediscover my confidence with women. But like so many things I did previously I just had to re-learn how to do it. Whether it is simple things like taking a shower, or more complex physical things like skiing or playing some basketball, and to also learn to be confident again. Personally I'm glad I am not on the dating scene anymore, because it can be tiring and discouraging, but it can be a little easier if you just appear to have confidence. |
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Post by briangriffin111 on Apr 8, 2011 14:04:11 GMT -5
This is a tuff one, I would say that men are expected to be confident, but I don’t thing that you should pretend to be something that you are not because you will be found out sooner or later. I think Phil says it well about it being hard for some disabled people to feel attractive, and that might show as a lack of confidence. As for me, I wish is was nice and simple like when you were in first school. If you liked a girl your mates would push you into her then runaway, then she knew that you liked her then you could play kiss chase if she liked you……..simples. ...or the classic note passed along the aisles: Do you like me? Check yes or no. If yes, will you go out with me? Check yes or no. Simple. :-) That’s to risky…….. The top secret note, for her eyes only, might get intercepted by the teacher…… That would result in the teacher reading the note to the class………. That would result in complete embarrassment………..I remember it well……… |
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? God forbid you might be "lost"
