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Post by ruthmadison on May 23, 2011 21:29:18 GMT -5
The only man on whispers who lives in my state! I don't think you should limit yourself just to guys in your state  I'm not, don't worry. It just excited me to see that there was someone who met all my criteria who lived close by. It sure would be simpler if they did! |
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Post by ruthmadison on May 23, 2011 21:31:19 GMT -5
Hey Ruth Thanks for reassuring me there are other AB people on the sites. I do have something that I don't actually think of as a disability. I have some hearing loss. I think of it more as an annoyance. I've got hearing aids, but I can hear better without them. sigh. I signed up for a couple. We'll see what happens. If you're not comfortable being exposed as a dev you could definitely put hearing loss in your profile. I think people would see that as reasonable. I have to admit that I roll my eyes when people on disability dating sites have things like "learning disabled" as their disability. Do you really need a special site for that? It's not something immediately evident to people. It's particularly weird when the people who have their disability listed as "learning disabled" message me. I have to gently remind them that my profile clearly states I'm looking for physical disabilities. |
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Post by ruthmadison on May 25, 2011 15:00:05 GMT -5
Just got my rewrite back! Here it is, only slightly tweaked by me:
"People have told me I’m intense, but I say that’s a good thing – I feel passionately about a lot of things in life! There’s nothing I enjoy more than a having a good discussion about hot-button topics others might shy away from, like religion or sex.
Speaking of religion, I actually converted to Hinduism as an adult, probably making me the only white Hindu you’ll ever meet. It comes with its own challenges, for sure, and I write a blog about it. But while I cook a lot of Indian food and spend a lot of time with the Indian community, I tend to get along best with people who describe themselves as “spiritual, but not religious.” So, we might have one of those passionate debates about Hinduism, but sharing beliefs is not necessary.
Something else I can’t live without is fiction writing, which I pursued through college in upstate New York and grad school in Los Angeles. In addition to my blog, I’ve written a book that’s sold over 100 copies – not enough to quit my day job, by any means, but it’s something of which I’m deeply proud.
Beyond that, most of my social life is wrapped up with my best friend, ____, and her husband. We’ve got a group that gets together to play video games and watch Dr. Who, so if you enjoy those things you’ll fit right in. I’m not really one for clubs or bars because they’re loud and I don’t drink anyway, so these nights at home are perfect for me.
And more than someone who’d prefer movie nights and cuddling on the couch to big outings, I’m hoping to find someone unflappable. I tend to be a little more high-strung, so a man who can stay calm in a crisis is always comforting to me. I generally like guys who are a little geekier, too, so if you’ve got a “nerdy” hobby you should definitely tell me about it so I can give it a try.
Also, I would like to meet someone physically disabled. I understand that that’s an unusual preference, and I don’t want to alienate anyone by writing this. But the truth is I don’t think I can be attracted to someone who doesn’t have a mobility issue. This may fall under the category of “hot-button issues we could discuss,” and I’d be happy to explain myself further if you’d like.
At the end of the day, I’m a generous, nonjudgmental person, and I’m just hoping to meet someone with whom I can feel chemistry. So write me a message if you think we’d get along, or if you’re up for a good discussion!"
I'm off to post it on websites and see what kind of response I get!
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Post by Emma on May 25, 2011 15:13:11 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing Ruth. It's very good.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on May 25, 2011 19:13:32 GMT -5
Fabulous! Best of luck with it! |
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on May 25, 2011 21:04:23 GMT -5
Wow!!! That's awesome, Ruth!! Well said, and covers everything important! |
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Post by BA on May 26, 2011 20:59:29 GMT -5
That's a great profile.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on May 28, 2011 1:34:10 GMT -5
Tonight was a total waste of glittery panty time. =/ Not wheeler related. Does this ever happen to y'all? ETA: And I feel bad... I feel bad that I didn't have fun. I hope I didn't affect his fun. I feel bad that I didn't feel a spark. I feel bad that I hope he didn't either. And more..  . |
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Post by Emma on May 28, 2011 2:29:46 GMT -5
Oh don't worry I have had many nights like that and still do. I think its just us women thinking ahead and hoping for things. As for not feeling a spark......don't feel bad!!!!!!!! Although everyone says it, it's not him it's you . Your a dev and if he's not a wheeler its just one of those situations....it would be great if it worked out but unfortunately its not that easy. I'm glad you went out though, its good practice even if nothing came of it. |
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Post by BA on May 28, 2011 9:28:17 GMT -5
Tonight was a total waste of glittery panty time. =/ Not wheeler related. Does this ever happen to y'all? ETA: And I feel bad... I feel bad that I didn't have fun. I hope I didn't affect his fun. I feel bad that I didn't feel a spark. I feel bad that I hope he didn't either. And more.. . In the old fashioned world of dating it happens lots and lots and lots. Don't you worry a bit about it. Spark can never be faked. |
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Post by Inigo Montoya on May 28, 2011 22:56:19 GMT -5
I felt like Lilith to his Fraser... if Cheers were a redneck dive. =/
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Post by ruthmadison on May 29, 2011 8:58:27 GMT -5
The biggest problem with Internet dating, I think, is that you can't put "chemistry" into the formulas. People who sound great on paper aren't always a good match.
For example, my best and longest relationship was with a man who on paper sounded terrible for me! He and my cousin had met on a dating site, and they had lots in common, everything lined up so they should have been a great match, but there was no spark. They remained friends and when I met him, the biggest spark I've ever had with a non-disabled person. Three years of relationship and I still feel like he knows me better than anyone else.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on May 31, 2011 8:44:37 GMT -5
Happens all the time! I've been with guys that were "paper perfect" and there was nothing - that even happened with a wheeler once! And I was in a very serious relationship with an AB, super metro bi guy who didn't know people ACTUALLY fished with worms. I was later horrified I dated him for so long, but there was chemistry. Enjoy feeling sexy and don't feel bad about the lack of spark when that happens. |
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Post by dentelle on Jun 9, 2011 18:14:35 GMT -5
Congrats Lucretia. Best of luck to you I set one up on Whispers for you. 2 people contacted me. 1 is from Montreal, AB. The other is an amputee from Florida........ |
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Post by ruthmadison on Jun 11, 2011 17:24:19 GMT -5
I've never understood why AB guys contact me on disabled dating sites. Aren't they there for the same reason I am...?
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