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Post by Ath on Jul 3, 2014 8:48:59 GMT -5
If your partner does need help, which of the things he needs help with is your favorite? If you dont have a dis partner right now what do you imagine your favorite thing would be? Example: I like taking care of his feet (!) but I think showering is my favorite  but I might come up with more later... |
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Post by Maurine on Jul 3, 2014 11:48:20 GMT -5
I love to care for his wounds if he has any. I don't want him to have wounds, but it happens from time to time and then I like to take care of them. Fortunately, he hasn't had anything serious so far. I like everything that is linked to his hands. -Washing his hands: He could actually do it himself (although it's difficult for him to access the spaces between his curled-up fingers) and I normally don't do things for him he can do himself without much effort, but I'm so into his hands that I still enjoy it. -Shortening his finger nails and toe nails  -Putting cream on his scars However, I also enjoy watching him do things on his own, e.g. adjusting his position in his chair, picking up things from the floor, adjusting his legs, pushing ... |
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Post by jrm on Jul 3, 2014 13:36:51 GMT -5
Showering, definitely!
And there can be lots of opportunities for a little closeness doing other activities. Transferring him into bed and "accidentally" falling on top of him and claiming a kiss, being "pulled" closer by the towel I was drying him with, etc. Yeah, lots of the caregiving activities didn't lend themselves to moments like these, but they needed done, so I did them. Not a big deal.
A big part of my wanting to do the caregiving is liking my privacy and freedom. I want to go to bed with my partner when I want to go to bed, not when a caregiver is scheduled. I want to sleep with my partner and not have to worry about how I'm dressed (or if I'm dressed) when the caregiver arrives in the morning. For everyone who hasn't had experience with caregivers in the home, think about everything you do with a partner, then imagine someone else being there. It's incredibly intrusive! I do realize that there are situations where a caregiver is needed, but I prefer to keep caregivers to a minimum when I'm in a serious relationship with a PWD.
Plus, I usually do a better job than the caregivers! LOL
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Post by Maurine on Jul 3, 2014 14:58:25 GMT -5
A big part of my wanting to do the caregiving is liking my privacy and freedom. I want to go to bed with my partner when I want to go to bed, not when a caregiver is scheduled. I want to sleep with my partner and not have to worry about how I'm dressed (or if I'm dressed) when the caregiver arrives in the morning. For everyone who hasn't had experience with caregivers in the home, think about everything you do with a partner, then imagine someone else being there. It's incredibly intrusive! I do realize that there are situations where a caregiver is needed, but I prefer to keep caregivers to a minimum when I'm in a serious relationship with a PWD. Plus, I usually do a better job than the caregivers! LOL These are exactly my feelings! Moreover, I'm not thrilled at the thought/sight of someone else touching my partner's penis. I'm okay with it, but I generally don't like it. |
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Post by Emma on Jul 3, 2014 19:38:48 GMT -5
One of the most frequent types of help I provide is massaging his legs when he is getting phantom pain. I'm a big fan of that type of help. My husband doesn't need help in the shower but when we shower together I like helping clean each other too  |
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Post by eva on Jul 4, 2014 2:30:41 GMT -5
My only relationship with a para was a very long time ago. He was a T10 and very much able to do everything he wanted. I lived on the first floor at the time with no elevator and he would climb the steps sitting and pulling his WC up by himself when I wasn’t there. He was young and strong. Never had any ED either. One of the « lucky ones » I guess. So he basically didn’t need much help doing anything. But I did get turned on by some things, like when he was sitting on the couch and asked me to get something because it was faster that way. Like Emma, massaging his legs. I also asked him to show me the range of motions exercises. Then other things, like untangling his legs with mine when we were in bed, but that’s another story |
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Post by Dee Dee on Jul 4, 2014 8:35:11 GMT -5
Showering, definitely! I love showering in general and showering with a nice guy is great (able-bodied or disabled).
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Post by faith on Jul 5, 2014 4:01:18 GMT -5
Tucking him in bed. I don't know how it started but we have a routine with pillows and the sheets a certain way.... mmmmm, love it.
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tabby
Full Member
Hello PD
Posts: 162
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by tabby on Jul 5, 2014 14:47:18 GMT -5
I like having to move his legs for him. Say he needs to get over an obstacle or when he gets really drunk he needs me to help him up the stairs. I have to pretty much move his legs up the stairs. I thought I would like to massage his legs but they are rock hard from spasms most of the time that they kill my hands.
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Post by Ath on Jul 5, 2014 16:50:05 GMT -5
I don't like the drunk thing...true dude only gets really really drunk maybe 3 times a year but I can tell already at the beginning of the evening it's going to be one of those nights, and he doesn't listen. Ofc he doesn't, because he is having too much fun right then. -Until everyone leaves and >bam< the anxiety hits him and he is too scared that he will fall when he gets out of his chair and into bed or bathroom. IF he falls there is no way for me to get him up because he is too drunk for me to get him on the lift!
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Post by lisa on Jul 7, 2014 12:02:01 GMT -5
Feeding. But it really depends on the guy and the disability. I love hands, so I like to do all kinds of stuff that are linked to them. :-)
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Post by AlrightyAphrodite on Jul 12, 2014 14:23:43 GMT -5
This thread is obviously marked "devs only."
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littlesparkle
New Member
I love a man on wheels...
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Gender: Female
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Post by littlesparkle on Oct 12, 2014 9:50:26 GMT -5
Helping him in the shower, getting dressed in the morning, changing his catheter, helping him stretch and getting undressed at night were my favorite things... Because it was so intimate.
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lilyth
Junior Member
Posts: 74
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by lilyth on Oct 12, 2014 13:45:59 GMT -5
The more intimate the helping task is, the more "trusted" I feel. I like pretty much all of it for that reason.
I actually really love the opposite, though. When my guy helps ME with things despite it maybe being difficult for him. My current boyfriend will just snatch a heavy bag of stuff out of my hands and carry it or put it on the back of his chair, like any AB guy might, and that's somehow really swoon-worthy for me. I had my ex with MD help me cook...even if it didn't turn out that helpful, hehe. I loved that he wanted to. I always had him do up the zipper on the back of my dress. Even if I could reach it. It was nice for him to get to do nice, intimate gestures for me as well.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2014 6:18:00 GMT -5
Showering +1
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