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Post by matisse on Feb 25, 2007 20:26:38 GMT -5
It is ironic that so many devs are so shy around wheelers, because we are accustomed to being groped and fondled all the time by strangers. There's just some magnetism to a person in a chair with a good attitude, it brings out everyone's touchy feely side. I get it from both men and women LOL. I was reminded of this on my recent Vegas trip. The older couple that sat next to me on the way over also happened to be on my return flight. Although we had spoken at most a few sentences on the way over, the guy saw me in the bathroom of the waiting area on the return, and greeted me, reminding me that they had been seated next to me.
So I get on the plane, and the dude's wife passes by me. They couldn't sit next to me again because the seats were taken. I had my headphones on so she touches my shoulder, which is the most typical wheeler touching move. As I look up to smile, she starts doing some twirly thing that moves her hand down my chest more, almost to my nipple. Hehe, that was a bit unusual and made me chuckle.
So, devs should not be shy about merely talking to wheelers!!!
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Post by devogirl on Feb 25, 2007 21:50:13 GMT -5
Yeah, but those people are usually patronizing and annoying. You describe a pleasant interaction here, but we all know that's not usually the case. I really don't want to be that stupid pushy stranger you wheeler guys seem to encounter way too often. Also those people generally don't think of you as sexual, which is why they feel free to touch so much.
Anyway, I think the reason we devos often have trouble talking to you wheelers is because of the overwhelming feeling of attraction. Nothing more complicated than that. Same reason a lot of guys who are usually outgoing will suddenly get all nervous around a woman who is super hot.
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Post by BA on Feb 25, 2007 23:20:02 GMT -5
Hmmmm. I have strong issues regarding my own personal space, so I am not much of one to violate someone elses' whether they be in a chair or not. I am inclined to WANT to violate a cute wheelers space ALOT, but I get all smeary (for lack of a better word to describe out of control horny) so no matter how drunk or happy I am, I just won't cop a feel or plop in a lap, because I would totally lose any composure I bear. Anyway, I don't want to find that I have copped my feel or whatever and then you open your mouth and turn out to be a total jerk. I'd rather talk to you... for awhile and see if the sparks do fly.
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Post by BA on Feb 25, 2007 23:35:43 GMT -5
Fubbster, I have noticed that smile when I have been with a wheeler. I call it the "you stand out in a crowd, good for you, I feel sorry for you, (but not) what a great person you must be, wheelchair makes you an instant nice person" smile. Yep, it's a social distortion of "assuming" something on the part of the able-bodied and I am sure I have been guilty of it.
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Post by Lazy Jenny on Feb 26, 2007 6:03:42 GMT -5
AB, sometimes that smile actually is a "wow, I think you're hot" smile. At my great age and less-than-hotness myself, I can see how it could be misinterpreted. I just look in his eyes and smile.
I'm definitely with you on respecting someone else's personal space. I once made the mistake of putting my hand on a wheeler's chair while I was talking to her and the look she shot me told me in no uncertain terms to back off. This was at the office, a conversation about business, but obviously I had gone too far.
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Post by Ouch on Feb 26, 2007 9:00:30 GMT -5
My $0.02USD:
That incident (matisse's) would've freaked me out more than made me chuckle, etc. I'm a little paranoid to begin with...but if some old lady is going to be randomly touching me, I've got to wonder why. I wouldn't have handled the situation as well as you did.
I know what you mean about the 'smiling' as well, fubb. I've been out and about to places as well and gotten those 'Yay, you're special!' smiles, and I know they're not 'I think you're hot smiles'. It can be annoying sometimes, but actually, in my experience, although women do that, other men I've encountered seem to be worse...they often vocalise what is in the woman's smile, and they do it loudly and ignorantly...which is like a "CRIP ALERT IN AISLE TEN!" beacon.
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Post by E on Feb 26, 2007 10:52:57 GMT -5
Men can be worse than women with that, but men are dumb in general, so I don't get too offended. I was leaving the Roots concert last night (which was awesome, by the way). One of my companions, my beautiful Haitian friend (you can see her in a few of my pics), was in my lap on the way to the van -- her feet hurt. One guy yells, "Now, THAT'S a pimp!" Granted, I am, but...
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Post by dolly on Feb 26, 2007 16:19:23 GMT -5
this thread makes me sad that i don't have a wheeler to fondle or grope.  |
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Post by dolly on Feb 26, 2007 20:16:28 GMT -5
wheelers just seem to get smiled at, looked at and touched more than the average person. i almost always feel like my smile, eye contact, conversation–in-passing gets filed into the category of 'just being nice'.
also, i have found that the odd time i've seen an attractive wheeler dude out at a bar/restaurant etc. that due to the constrictions of space (or whatever) the guy pretty much stays at the table with his friends all night. there is no chance to catch him alone or enroute to the bar or something. maybe that's because i tend to go see bands vs. going to a dance club so things are crowded and people don't move around so much. but when fubb says mingle....really mingle! there might be a dev just waiting for the chance to get you alone! ;D
as far as the touching goes. i'm very tactile so i do like to touch. but i also respect people's personal space so i'm not gonna be all touchy until we at least become engaged in a conversation.
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Post by laurasweetou on Feb 27, 2007 14:41:24 GMT -5
I'm with Dolly... Come up to me, buy me a drink and I'll flirt...
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Post by mrjefffurz on Feb 27, 2007 21:36:55 GMT -5
ahhh, my loverly absinthe,,,u can invade my personal space,,unless dolly is busy fondling & groping, in which case you will simply have to wait your turn...my cellmate in he hospital had a personality similar to mine,,,altho half my age,,,lol,,i wasnt surprised when he told me about 1 of the perks of wheelerdom is all the hottie-babes that seem to enjoy lapsitting/neck hugging with us...
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Post by cunning69guy on Feb 27, 2007 23:41:59 GMT -5
Posted by dolly on Yesterday at 6:16pm
wheelers just seem to get smiled at, looked at and touched more than the average person. i almost always feel like my smile, eye contact, conversation–in-passing gets filed into the category of 'just being nice'.
also, i have found that the odd time i've seen an attractive wheeler dude out at a bar/restaurant etc. that due to the constrictions of space (or whatever) the guy pretty much stays at the table with his friends all night. there is no chance to catch him alone or enroute to the bar or something. maybe that's because i tend to go see bands vs. going to a dance club so things are crowded and people don't move around so much. but when fubb says mingle....really mingle! there might be a dev just waiting for the chance to get you alone! ;D
as far as the touching goes. i'm very tactile so i do like to touch. but i also respect people's personal space so i'm not gonna be all touchy until we at least become engaged in a conversation. |
Dolly, Sometimes it IS hard for me to discern the genuine "attracted to me" smiles, eye contact and conversation from the "just being nice" kind. You're also correct in the fact that space constraints and crowds often tend to box me in and prevent me from mingling even if I'd like to. I'd recommend maybe sending a drink our way to get our attention, as I only normally get the "polite" or "pity" free drinks from dudes, and one from a hottie like yourself would definitely get the up close and personal thank you and hopefully conversation, and.... And as far as touching goes, as an incomplete quad who's regained his sensation, there is NOTHING as sensuous as being touched, preferably skin on skin! So whenever you're jonesing for a tactile fix, take a trip down here and get your fix, as long as I get to touch back! |
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Post by matisse on Feb 28, 2007 0:02:36 GMT -5
I'd recommend maybe sending a drink our way to get our attention, as I only normally get the "polite" or "pity" free drinks from dudes, and one from a hottie like yourself would definitely get the up close and personal thank you and hopefully conversation, and... LOL, the chances of having a chick do that are less than 1%, the chances of having a dev chick do that are......lower...... |
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Post by laurasweetou on Feb 28, 2007 10:40:16 GMT -5
Matisse is right in my case, I'm waaay to shy.
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Post by Pony on Feb 28, 2007 16:08:04 GMT -5
Good topic...it's true about the 'touchy-feely' thang. There's a few older guys at my work that grab my shoulders often for a few squeezes, and there's a really hot Brasilian chica that touches my leg while we're talking sometimes. It takes a lot to offend me, and i realize i bring out weird things in people. Some girls completely shutdown when i'm around them; others spark up. Funny thing i've noticed, dogs are a lot like this...some never see the chair, love me to death; some are scared, very watchful, won't come near. A neighbor's dog just meet me a few minutes ago, and he was VERYYY observant of my hands, and he looked confused whether to bite me, or love me. Eventually, i let him lick my hand, and he was cool...wanted to jump on me!! If only he was a female Dev....ahhhhhhh!!! lol I'm headed to the beach...it's 81 degrees, and i'm in my raggy beach tanktop and my favorite ballerina tights...ready to party!!!  Any dogs care to join me?  ? |
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Any dogs care to join me?
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