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Post by pam on Jan 8, 2020 17:47:47 GMT -5
Good luck, hope it goes well.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2020 19:40:06 GMT -5
Thanks missparkle and devogirl for your replies. I actually thought something along those lines that talking to him would probably take away the “magic”, but I had already told my boyfriend that I wasn’t going to (via WhatsApp) so I didn’t. Now, a couple days later, I’m not mad at all about how I handled the situation and don’t feel like I missed an opportunity or so. I guess that has to do with me already there thinking to myself why it didn’t even make a difference talking to him, since I know my guy is worthy of my unshared attention. As to my current relationship, took me quite a while to allow my feelings to develop, but now I’m finally there and it’s amazing. He’s seriously amazing as well, sexy and cute all at once, very intelligent conventionally as well as emotionally, super caring and shows me a lot that he cares deeply about me. Just this weekend he surprised me with some pretending and even though it’s not the real deal and I didn’t know if I would like pretending beforehand, it was seriously 🤯. Your bf sounds like an awesome guy. I'm certain all devs who are in relationships with AB sometimes have those doubts and questions if they should pursue something with a PWD and give up what they have with their AB partner. But I like how you are looking at it now and I think it's a good thing. Your bf sounds awesome in many ways and even wants to pretend for you which is very cool of him. That means he is open minded and loves you so much that he will even do that for you. I don't think many guys would be willing to do that, especially in a "young" relationship that is in its beginning stages. Most guys would probably be intimidated by things like that, believing that they are not enough for their gf/wife. But on the contrary, trying out different things sexually or intimately can be so enriching for both partners. If you are fulfilled in your relationship then I don't think you should throw it away for a guy you don't or barely know. I literally can count on maybe two fingers how many PWD I have encountered who may have actually been a good candidate for me. I mean I didn't go looking on every dating app or hook up app but I think I'm also kind of set in my ways at my age and have my weird notions that it would be difficult. To find the right AB partner is already not easy and add on finding the right PWD partner - I think it's very rare. So for now, just keep it fantastic in your head and feed of the fantasies and the sightings to enrich you current relationship. Just enjoy those times when you see a PWD you find attractive and maybe use that in your relationship to spice up things or keep the passion alive. I am assuming your bf knows you are a dev so I very much recommend honest communication if you ever feel down about being a dev. He may put things in perspective for you that you don't even think about and he may also confirm to you that he does love you very much and remind you of what you both have. If of course you are really not fulfilled anymore and your dev demands to be with a PWD, then it may be time to rethink the relationship and consider your options. I really believe open communication is so important. Like I can sit there with my husband in a public place and we basically check out people together, he checks out women, I check out guys and women, we talk about it and laugh about it and somehow that makes me feel so close to him, because there is no jealousy or anger, it is basic human stuff that we feel and we can be open about it to each other. He also knows how it makes me feel when I see a PWD and I don't have to hide my reactions from him which then he can "assist" me better in either my high or low when it comes to dev things.
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Post by devogirl on Jan 8, 2020 22:36:32 GMT -5
cilantro oh honey, I was there so many times... Here’s my advice: meet him in person as soon as possible, and don’t invest too much at first. Don’t waste a lot of time getting emotionally invested online before meeting, and don’t imagine this will be a LTR if you have nothing in common even after you meet. As for the dev thing, sometimes I told, sometimes I didn’t but it was always a huge red flag if I felt like I couldn’t ever tell the guy. It doesn’t have to be the first thing, but do bring it up by the second or third date. You don’t have to use the word devotee since he might not even know it, but be positive and upbeat about it. He will follow your lead. If you’re like, “hey, here’s this cool thing about me that will be great for both of us” he’s much more likely to take it well. Be brave, and remember if he does freak out, that just means he’s not the right guy for you, and it’s better to know sooner than later. The loving hockey thing would be a much bigger hurdle for me tbh. I forced so many relationships with guys I had nothing in common with, and it never ended well. If he’s hot but you have nothing in common, it’s totally fine to have a NSA hookup arrangement but you have to be super clear with him and mostly with yourself that that’s what is happening.
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Post by cilantro on Jan 8, 2020 23:42:28 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for the luck and advice! devogirl honestly Devo Diary is my spiritual guide in this. This is the stuff they should teach in school.
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Post by linda on Jan 8, 2020 23:58:26 GMT -5
Good luck, cilantro! Yes, Devo Diary is wonderful! That kept me also up in my darkest moments of desperate attempts in the lion‘s den that the PWD online dating world seems to be... ;-)
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Post by devogirl on Jan 9, 2020 0:04:25 GMT -5
Aw thanks! New chapters coming soon. The latest chapters will pretty much be all about why dating hot wheelers you meet online and have nothing in common with is a bad idea, sorry 😐
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Jan 15, 2020 3:18:07 GMT -5
Thanks @delight and Dani for your input. I have been in a LTR with a PWD before, so I know that the dream idea of a PWD is just that, a dream idea. I know that there’s the same issues as in every other relationship and that the importance of the dev factor decreases over time (at least it did for me). So yeah, I’m very happy with what I’ve got. Dani as for the pretending or trying out different things in the bedroom in general, I totally agree with you. I’m very lucky that he very much enjoys experimenting with new things and is also kinky like me. I would also check out people like you and your husband with my wheeler ex and that was a lot of fun. I always enjoyed that we could do that with each other. With my current bf, we definitely check out girls together, but guys not so much. I still have to figure out how he feels about that, I think he may be the rather jealous type. He obviously knows about my devness and he’s interested in it or rather just in what makes me tick, I guess. It’s great that I’m able to be open about this with him and he’s so open minded. Tbh, I don’t think I could be with someone who isn’t and didn’t accept this part of me, regardless of PWD or AB.
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Post by pam on Jan 20, 2020 20:33:52 GMT -5
I was at Walmart this afternoon when I saw a wheeler. He was somewhere in his 20s. I dont know if his condition was permanent or temporary, but he had his urine bag right in front, clipped to his shirt, like a giant necklace. I really dont think any wheelers here on PD would do this lol. Not to talk bad about this guy, but I would never go out in public like that😟
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2020 10:29:14 GMT -5
I was at Walmart this afternoon when I saw a wheeler. He was somewhere in his 20s. I dont know if his condition was permanent or temporary, but he had his urine bag right in front, clipped to his shirt, like a giant necklace. I really dont think any wheelers here on PD would do this lol. Not to talk bad about this guy, but I would never go out in public like that😟 Thats not a good look ! Also it would block as its meant to flow down, away from the body....pretty much guaranteed way to get a uti
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Post by pam on Jan 21, 2020 12:18:04 GMT -5
I was at Walmart this afternoon when I saw a wheeler. He was somewhere in his 20s. I dont know if his condition was permanent or temporary, but he had his urine bag right in front, clipped to his shirt, like a giant necklace. I really dont think any wheelers here on PD would do this lol. Not to talk bad about this guy, but I would never go out in public like that😟 Thats not a good look ! Also it would block as its meant to flow down, away from the body....pretty much guaranteed way to get a uti Yes!! I thought about it later and kind of wondered if he did this for attention.
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Post by feelsunshine on Jan 21, 2020 14:52:02 GMT -5
Thats not a good look ! Also it would block as its meant to flow down, away from the body....pretty much guaranteed way to get a uti Yes!! I thought about it later and kind of wondered if he did this for attention. That sounds really strange and as mentioned, wrong direction. Is it possible that it was maybe something else, like some sort of medication and you have just mistaken it as a urine bag?
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Post by pam on Jan 21, 2020 18:18:57 GMT -5
Yes!! I thought about it later and kind of wondered if he did this for attention. That sounds really strange and as mentioned, wrong direction. Is it possible that it was maybe something else, like some sort of medication and you have just mistaken it as a urine bag? I dont think so. It was one of the big ones that the hospitals use, but at the time I saw it, it was empty. Maybe it was just temporary and he didn't know what else to do with it. He was with a lady who I assume was his mother. He had on socks, no shoes and was not using any foot rests on his chair. Maybe he was just out of the hospital 🤔
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2020 21:27:58 GMT -5
pammaybe something else was going on with that guy, like not an SCI or anything but some other health issue.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2020 21:46:02 GMT -5
I didn't spot a real life wheeler lately except for my gym crush 😉 but I was pleasantly surprised when I watched "Will & Grace" last week and Christopher Thornton had a guest appearance in it having a fling thing with character Karen and very dryly totally mocking the disability thing. I haven't seen him in a long time. I think he had some small appearances in some TV shows but never made another actual movie I think since that weird one "Sympathy for Delicious" in which I found him really hot with long dark hair and his blue eyes 😋 I have this one photo of him saved from that movie that is my total go to hot wheeler pic. He is of course older now as we all are but I still find him attractive for his age.
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Jan 24, 2020 17:17:30 GMT -5
Unexpected para wheeler spotting at Costco today when I was with a co-worker. I tried not to be too obvious but I found myself gazing and hanging around the aisle a little longer than I should. I didn't get too crazy of dev feelings today but I must admit I did get some "dev feels" as I watched him navigate the frozen food section. I really liked watching the movement of the arms, shoulders and body while he was wheeling - whew! The movement was very sexy to me.
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