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Post by shape on May 16, 2018 9:55:25 GMT -5
shape llamaguccii never asked how we felt about the use of parentheses, the conversation just got brought up naturally. You can disagree with her decision to use it but that doesn't give you a right to be a bully about it. You keep bringing up this "why can't I say what i think?" thing and the difference is that you are being mean and disrespectful. You constantly jump to defend PWD so quickly, yet you are rude to a dev who didn't provoke you at all and has kept her cool the whole time. Honestly I have no problem with disagreeing but I DO have a problem with bullying. As far as the OP goes, I think this is the very thing a lot of us get kind of rubbed the wrong way about because so many people wrongly assume that we are thirsty for anyone in a wheelchair, which is obviously not the case. As has been said, it is MUCH more complex than that. TotalBias I'm glad you now have a better idea about this and that you asked the question so that you could learn more. We obviously have different concepts about bullying... Still don't understand why you're saying I am bullying... Maybe I'm too stupid, I thought I was vehement and never thought she couldn't handle it. And she never asked how we felt, but it took part of two threads the ( ) thing... But, who cares... Now wait, newjess, you'll have to explain better, because there's something I don't get... The fact that she's a dev (if she agrees to that, I'm not that sure) makes it impossible for me to disagree??? I can only be vehement (or bully as you say) when it's about defending pwd??? So I have to behave differently? Like her just because she's in my team? Defend the poor pwd is ok??? Sorry, lady. Not me. I like who I live regardless of what team he/she is part of... Same for who I (dis)like. About provoking... Let's not say what I think/feel. I would be a Hitler regarding your reactions, ladies. |
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Post by Manda2212 on May 16, 2018 10:59:44 GMT -5
I don't think anyone said it was patronizing at all. People didn't understand it and she explained it and people said "oh, I understand now why you are using it but I still don't like the way it looks." She chooses to use it. She has taken all of the criticism extremely well, IMO.
It becomes bullying when you post repeatedly for no other reason than to call someone out who hasn't been rude to you. It was to make llmaguccii feel stupid. There is no other reason to discuss this again but that.
Also, among the devs here, we all express ourselves differently and have differing perspectives on what it means to be a dev, ie: a fetish, a preference, WHATEVER have you. You can agree or not as to llamaguccii's dev status is but it isn't your business whether she is or isn't. You are just trying to provoke when llamaguccii has been very respectful during her time here.
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Post by malibu on May 16, 2018 11:56:55 GMT -5
Spelling disability as (dis)ability is not disrespectful. It is disrespectful to call people out for being different like it's been done in this thread. Same way: It would be so wrong to call somebody out because of their looks (for example, because of a face tattoo, although I don't think it compares). I am baffled by the animosity triggered by a simple pair parenthesis.
"()" -> WWIII
Oh, and I will start using (dis)ability from now on, and I won't even bother explaining myself why.
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Post by shape on May 16, 2018 12:17:10 GMT -5
I don't think anyone said it was patronizing at all. People didn't understand it and she explained it and people said "oh, I understand now why you are using it but I still don't like the way it looks." She chooses to use it. She has taken all of the criticism extremely well, IMO. It becomes bullying when you post repeatedly for no other reason than to call someone out who hasn't been rude to you. It was to make llmaguccii feel stupid. There is no other reason to discuss this again but that. Also, among the devs here, we all express ourselves differently and have differing perspectives on what it means to be a dev, ie: a fetish, a preference, WHATEVER have you. You can agree or not as to llamaguccii's dev status is but it isn't your business whether she is or isn't. You are just trying to provoke when llamaguccii has been very respectful during her time here. I'm not disagreeing about her being a dev, it's always been her... I never meant to make her feel stupid, I corrected myself when I realized... But, wait, no! I will stop talking, as I am not talking about the original thread and It's never happened before... DERAILING a thread. And, honestly, I don't get why all those reactions, but... Who cares?? (Meaning I Don't) |
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Post by newjess on May 16, 2018 13:09:21 GMT -5
We obviously have different concepts about bullying... Still don't understand why you're saying I am bullying... Maybe I'm too stupid, I thought I was vehement and never thought she couldn't handle it. And she never asked how we felt, but it took part of two threads the ( ) thing... But, who cares... Now wait, newjess, you'll have to explain better, because there's something I don't get... The fact that she's a dev (if she agrees to that, I'm not that sure) makes it impossible for me to disagree??? I can only be vehement (or bully as you say) when it's about defending pwd??? So I have to behave differently? Like her just because she's in my team? Defend the poor pwd is ok??? Sorry, lady. Not me. I like who I live regardless of what team he/she is part of... Same for who I (dis)like. About provoking... Let's not say what I think/feel. I would be a Hitler regarding your reactions, ladies. Doesn't have anything to do with teams, I brought up that example because you have very often come to the defense of PWD who actually ARE being a-holes and have made your stance very clear about being "un-welcoming" and what not, so I find your antagonistic behavior toward llamaguccii hypocritical. Especially seeing as she has been incredibly courteous about everything. We get it, you find it annoying, but for one thing you have been mocking her by inserting () into your words, for the SINGLE purpose of antagonizing. What other reason do you have for this: TotalBias, I just (dis)like the use of certain things, but... Did you read the following post? I realized you had read it. Still (dis)like the way you type, but I can back off and say when I (dis)regard something... (jeez, it's exhausting!!) Don't really get you, but no, dear, no need to explain yourself. You did the same thing in the original quote I'm responding to now (you said (dis)like instead of dislike). Also known as mocking her, for what reason? Also you called her "dear", which I can only imagine was used to be intentionally condescending, obviously not as a term of endearment. Hopefully that makes my reasons for calling your behavior "bullying" more clear. |
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Post by shape on May 16, 2018 13:13:26 GMT -5
Now wait, newjess, you'll have to explain better, because there's something I don't get... The fact that she's a dev (if she agrees to that, I'm not that sure) makes it impossible for me to disagree??? I can only be vehement (or bully as you say) when it's about defending pwd??? So I have to behave differently? Like her just because she's in my team? Defend the poor pwd is ok??? Sorry, lady. Not me. I like who I live regardless of what team he/she is part of... Same for who I (dis)like. About provoking... Let's not say what I think/feel. I would be a Hitler regarding your reactions, ladies. Doesn't have anything to do with teams, I brought up that example because you have very often come to the defense of PWD who actually ARE being a-holes and have made your stance very clear about being "un-welcoming" and what not, so I find your antagonistic behavior toward llamaguccii hypocritical. Especially seeing as she has been incredibly courteous about everything. We get it, you find it annoying, but you have been mocking her by inserting () into your words, for the SINGLE purpose of antagonizing. What other reason do you have for this: TotalBias, I just (dis)like the use of certain things, but... Did you read the following post? I realized you had read it. Still (dis)like the way you type, but I can back off and say when I (dis)regard something... (jeez, it's exhausting!!) Don't really get you, but no, dear, no need to explain yourself. You did the same thing in the original quote I'm responding to now (you said (dis)like instead of dislike). Also known as mocking her, for what reason? Also you called her "dear", which I can only imagine was used to be intentionally condescending, obviously not as a term of endearment. Hopefully that makes my reasons for calling your behavior "bullying" more clear. Now I'm the hypocrite!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤐🤐🤐 Oh, (fun)tastic.... Wait, fun-tastic, better... Don't want to bully anybody... |
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Post by shape on May 16, 2018 13:56:04 GMT -5
She did ask our opinion on (dis), but it was awhile ago and the responses were very mixed. I don’t know if the word patronizing was used specifically, but I did mention somewhere that I felt it was trying to hide or remove the (dis) from the ability rather than give it a split meaning. To me it reads like we are supposed to whisper the words in the parentheses, so it is slightly offensive to read. IMO. I think the gay community could find (homo)sexual to be unnecessary, and could be seen as patronizing. It’s subjective. shape, I think the main point is that there’s a point where unsolicited opinions can go beyond constructive and enter a bossy tone. I wouldn’t say bullying normally, except that I do agree llama has taken a lot of criticism very well and it’s clear she just intends to be true to herself despite the criticism- I think at that point you just have to accept people for who theyare and give them their space to do that without letting them know how much it bugs you. Of course you’re free to be true to yourself and speak your mind, but so can the next person and the next person- then there’s no end to everyone speaking their minds and no one is listening to each other. Well, this is the last time I'm talking about this, because you're all derailing this thread much more than necessary. Yes, I do agree TotalBias has been ok with all the situation. And, even more important, I think we're the only two ones who haven't been hypocrite here. End of derailing... (at least by my side) |
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Post by elbs on May 20, 2018 1:22:33 GMT -5
Back on the original topic...
Honestly for me wheelchairs have no real interest. It's all about the person inside the wheelchair and what disability they have. And I only get a devvy feeling if they're in a situation that highlights the disability, such as a transfer.
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Post by ayla on Jul 20, 2021 14:51:42 GMT -5
Bumping up this thread because I feel I’m in the minority here — I do find wheelchairs themselves devvy. In fact I might go so far as to say I have a fetish for these devices (at least the ones I find aesthetically pleasing), but an orientation/attraction to PWD who use them. Given the choice between an empty chair and one occupied by someone not of my taste, I’d rather just admire the chair on its own (which I often do by following the social media of manufacturers). To me it’s maybe akin to being a sports car or classic car lover? The combination of wheelchair and attractive man is what sets off a five-alarm dev meltdown 😆 and as you all have said, sadly this is an extreme rarity 🦄 (and to the OP’s point, in reality the chemistry with the PWD himself is infinitely more important than the quality of his wheelchair and that is what determines the dev response).
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Post by feelsunshine on Jul 24, 2021 14:13:31 GMT -5
A wheelchair alone is not devy to me.
It’s all about the guy who uses it.
However I must admit, during intercourse, I sometimes like to have a glance towards the chair. Maybe to remind myself that the guy I’m with is a wheeler, I don’t know.
Second exception is, I don’t like electronic wheelchairs. They are so huge and heavy. plus, There’s a lot more devy about the movements of a guy who uses a manual wheelchair.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2021 18:30:02 GMT -5
Bumping up this thread because I feel I’m in the minority here — I do find wheelchairs themselves devvy. In fact I might go so far as to say I have a fetish for these devices (at least the ones I find aesthetically pleasing), but an orientation/attraction to PWD who use them. Given the choice between an empty chair and one occupied by someone not of my taste, I’d rather just admire the chair on its own (which I often do by following the social media of manufacturers). To me it’s maybe akin to being a sports car or classic car lover? The combination of wheelchair and attractive man is what sets off a five-alarm dev meltdown 😆 and as you all have said, sadly this is an extreme rarity 🦄 (and to the OP’s point, in reality the chemistry with the PWD himself is infinitely more important than the quality of his wheelchair and that is what determines the dev response).
You are not the only one ayla I feel that way too |
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alexander2h
New Member
Posts: 17 
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by alexander2h on Jan 5, 2022 10:59:32 GMT -5
this question make me think about some straight man how to think gay. they are so scared those gay will date him, or want him. but actually most of gay will never want him. for dev and disabled i tink it is similarity, do i like man with disable and using wheelchair？ Yes! but will i want everyone i saw with wheelchair? no,only if he is my tea.
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Post by ayla on Jan 6, 2022 15:44:17 GMT -5
this question make me think about some straight man how to think gay. they are so scared those gay will date him, or want him. but actually most of gay will never want him. for dev and disabled i tink it is similarity, do i like man with disable and using wheelchair？ Yes! but will i want everyone i saw with wheelchair? no,only if he is my tea. This is a really excellent point. |
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olive
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by olive on Jan 7, 2022 12:16:10 GMT -5
I think it’s not so much the wheelchair itself that’s attractive, but what it represents. Will seeing a rando on the street in a wheelchair trigger something for me? Probably not. But will seeing someone try to get around in it and need help trigger something? Most definitely.
It’s the care and support disabled people receive that’s attractive to me. Maybe someone struggling physically to do something triggers my need for that kind of care or for me to care for them, which in turn is sexually gratifying for me. So seeing someone struggle to do things does trigger my devo response, but I don’t think it’s the chair itself.
And obviously, qualities outside of the disability are important to me as well. Physical attractiveness, personality, etc.
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Post by ichbin on Feb 20, 2022 10:23:01 GMT -5
No. Wheelchairs alone are not enough.
But a not interesting AB would probably be a more interesting man to me if the same person was PWD.
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