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Post by kyliestarz on Aug 10, 2019 10:58:46 GMT -5
whatever disability he has, you have too. Would you do it?
I love these immature ‘would you rathers’. A couple details to the scenario.
-He’s perfect for you in every way - physically and personality, meaning he’s your sole mate and you’re nearly guaranteed too be happy.
-You’re financially taken care and very comfortable for life.
My answer. I don’t know. The prospect of being with my sole mate is pretty appealing, combined with satisfying my devness. But its a tough trade off. I can say I would think long and hard.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2019 12:48:16 GMT -5
So I would have the same disability?
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Post by kyliestarz on Aug 10, 2019 12:52:43 GMT -5
Yup
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Post by kyliestarz on Aug 10, 2019 12:59:51 GMT -5
And soulmate not ‘sole mate’. Gosh how embarrassing.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2019 13:13:56 GMT -5
So I think I would do it. My preferred disability pertaining to my devness is Paraplegia and in general I am drawn to all things medical so yes, I would go for it.
But then there are many scenarios so depending on that, my view could change.
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Post by kyliestarz on Aug 11, 2019 20:53:39 GMT -5
One thing to clarify (because the details of a would-you-rather are important) is that you choosing the disability is part of it. You can choose whatever disability you want for your soulmate, you can have your ultimate fantasy for the rest of your life, but the cost is that you have the same disability. To me, it’s a really sneaky and interesting proposition when you stop to think it through. I mean even the question what would you give up to be with your true love is interesting.
This idea is probably crazy to you gals who are actually with wheelers IRL, me pondering a very drastic trade-off for something I could have without drastic measures but alas I’m stuck in fantasy land - there are many many commitments that make it so. So my fantasies tend to get extreme.
Sigh...And...Yeah i do have some biid tendencies and I’m an amp as well as sci dev so the idea of being a quad or dak amp, with my dream man, while being financially taken care of is pretty appealing.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2019 22:41:52 GMT -5
To me its one of those curiosity things, wanting to know the "other side"...and even though I am not with a PWD, being a dev I feel I know so much about my preferred disability and working in the medical field that I want to experience it. Medical and clinical things interest me.
Of course the reality is cruel and I am not naive about it but I would still go for it.
It reminds me a bit of the thread we had once about how we would deal with if our AB significant other would become disabled.
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Post by devogirl on Aug 12, 2019 1:27:09 GMT -5
I totally get how this might be a fantasy for some but it’s a hard no for me. My top interest is blindness and I have never wanted to experience it for myself. Also a big part of my attraction is visual—how the person looks and moves. If I couldn’t watch him, I would not be as interested. Unfair, but hey, sexual desire is not about fairness.
When I was a curious dev kid I did wish there was a way to experience SCI temporarily just to know what it was like, but that desire faded as a adult. Also when I had kids, I had a c section with an epidural so I guess I did experience temporary loss of movement/sensation but there were so many other things going on at the time, dev thoughts were the furthest thing from my mind.
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Post by robbb on Aug 12, 2019 2:42:18 GMT -5
Interesting question.
Would I want to? No.
Would I be prepared to? Yes.
Would I want an SCI? Absolutely not, while I have come to understand more about BIID in the last couple of years it is not, and never will be, part of me.
In saying that, finding your soulmate is such a rare thing, and even moreso with such physical attractions as ours, I think to find that true connection I would be prepared to.
That decision is almost certainly influenced by my ideal PWD being capable and independent. If he were to have a more severe disability I may have answered differently.
R.
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Post by LaMara on Aug 12, 2019 6:27:13 GMT -5
It depends:
Let’s say he’s an amputee, sure I’d accept that. Maybe I would struggle with a DAK situation but with today’s technology I could likely adapt to it. If it’s just one limb missing, and I get the perfect dreamlike partner, hell yeah! Where do I sign with my shiny new hook?
Let’s say he’s blind... hell no! I’m an extremely visual person and an amateur artist, I’m not saying I wouldn’t eventually come to terms with blindness if it happened to me because of a random accident or disease, but I wouldn’t seek it out voluntarily just for a relationship. Sorry not sorry.
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rebeca
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Post by rebeca on Aug 26, 2019 5:32:33 GMT -5
I totally get how this might be a fantasy for some but it’s a hard no for me. My top interest is blindness and I have never wanted to experience it for myself. Also a big part of my attraction is visual—how the person looks and moves. If I couldn’t watch him, I would not be as interested. Unfair, but hey, sexual desire is not about fairness. Late addition, but ditto to above. My first and forever love is blind men and most of my attraction towards blind men is visual. I'm also a quad/para dev, but won't trade all that for love either. I guess I've been with my crazy love, that one guy that kind of ruins your heart forever kind of thing and I didn't;t give up my career or my freedom for the sake of that... so I don't think I would actually trade my physical body for love.. |
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Post by Amee on Aug 28, 2019 3:18:49 GMT -5
I also really like would-you-rathers, so another late addition  I have no BIID tendencies whatsoever and no desire to experience disability for myself. As a child I remember having a little bit of curiosity about it and wondering what it's like to touch a part of your body and not feel it. When I was fifteen I had a horseriding accident, where I hit the ground head-first and bruised my back (I hope that's the correct English term for what happened). There was no damage to any bones or the spinal cord, but I still had intense back pain for a few weeks and for two weeks I pretty much had to lie flat in bed. After that I had chronic back pain for years and I would sometimes get a sudden, intense stabbing pain in my spine (or what felt like my spine anyway). I was absolutely terrified that something more serious was wrong and my teenage dev-guilt-ridden brain also came up with some crazy ideas that I would somehow be punished for my dev feelings by becoming paralyzed myself. That whole experience took care of any curiosity I might have had before that. I also sometimes get some kind of entrapment of the ulnar nerve, when I'm sleeping in the wrong position at night, which makes half of my right hand and lower arm go weak and completely numb. So I also have some kind of idea what loss of sensation (and to a very limited degree movement) feels like and it's weird and uncomfortable and thankfully always goes away quickly. Having said all that, finding my soulmate does sound very, very appealing. If your scenario allows for it, I would just take my soulmate and choose the most mild disability I could think of (like an amputated finger or something)  If the disability had to align with my dev preferences (lower SCI), then it would probably depend on the alternative: If the alternative is dying alone and unhappy, then I would go for soulmate + disability (still not easily, though, and I would want to do some "Wild"-style long-distance hiking I've been dreaming of, first, lol.). If the alternative is a decent AB guy, then I would go for decent AB guy + no disability. If the alternative is an AB soulmate then I would absolutely and without question go for AB soulmate + no disability. |
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rebeca
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Post by rebeca on Aug 28, 2019 3:22:36 GMT -5
LOL this is turning into a game of Red Flags, only if there was a PWD/Dev version!
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Post by Amee on Aug 28, 2019 3:30:18 GMT -5
LOL this is turning into a game of Red Flags, only if there was a PWD/Dev version! Haha, I've never heard of that game, but I just googled it and it sounds fun We should make a PWD/dev version of it and then figure out some way to play it online  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2019 9:09:02 GMT -5
I have to look up that game now...
I saw that BIID was mentioned above...I don't want to be disabled and like my able bodied life but to just answer the OP's original question without thinking about it much, I would still say "yes, I would"
The realistic scenarios could be endless if thought about in depth, but since this is so far fetched as a fantasy, my fantsay answer is still the above...
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