Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2019 4:39:27 GMT -5
Very thought provoking question. My answer would be no. In as much as I love the whole strong upper body and weak lower body combination going on that many guys in chairs have, I wouldn't really want it for myself. I don't really know how that comes across but I'm happy with my independence, I'm happy that every part of me works normally and I wouldn't want to be in a chair for the rest of my life.
It's maybe a bit selfish and there is a part of me that is quite fascinated by the whole paralysis idea and not being able to feel anything in the legs but I'm not sure I would want it for the rest of my own life.
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timm
New Member
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Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by timm on Oct 20, 2019 11:18:14 GMT -5
Interesting question and answers. My attraction is to paraplegics and my answer would be no. This may sound naive, but after chatting with a few of the para guys here, I got a little better understanding of how difficult a para or quad life can be both mentally and physically. This doesn’t necessarily come to mind when you are having a sexual fantasy about a hot guy in a chair. Second, if I was going forward with a relationship with a PWD guy, I’d want to be able to care, help and make his life better by taking care of anything he couldn’t.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2019 17:47:33 GMT -5
I read through this again and what came to my mind was, would I still be a dev if I would have the same disability my partner would have?
Would it depend on the timeline on who became disabled first? Still too many open ended scenarios...
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Post by missparkle on Nov 5, 2019 7:14:45 GMT -5
whatever disability he has, you have too. Would you do it? My answer is decidedly NO! It took me a time, not that I had any doubts about my answer, but to articulate my reasons why not. First of all, I think the premise itself is wrong! If we talk about "true love", "The One", "soulmate", by my perception it should be two people who are both, independently of each other, completely self-aware, accomplished and "whole". Who are lucky enough to find each other in this wide, deep ocean and realize that they fit perfectly in each others life, making it better. That being said, any "trade", being even purely theoretical, is not acceptable. But, let's pretend for a moment that premise is valid! NO # 1 Disability is not matter of choice, something cool, accessory you just acquire so you can play "Bonnie and Clyde", joined together in crime with your darling. It is not all so glamorous in all its aspects and comes with lot of struggle, inconvenience and discomfort. I believe no sane person would deliberately chose to be disabled. And I find it even a bit rude and disrespectful to pwds to even consider it this way. NO # 2 Big part of my own personal devotism is a desire to "fill in the blanks". I think it is the easiest for me to explain on the example of sex, but it applies in other aspects of relationship, too! My preferred partner would have SCI, therefore he would have none or limited sensation "down there" and erectile dysfunction. But I CAN feel. Oh boy, I sure can! So making ME feel, giving ME pleasure, leading ME to climax, being in charge and in control of my feelings, on whatever unique or "weird" way, it makes him "feel" as well! Experiencing the consequences, feeling the results of his deeds. I have a need to be a tool for him to feel! And than again making him "feel" is huge turn on for me. It is continuous loop! |
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Post by newjess on Nov 5, 2019 10:18:29 GMT -5
missparkle, it's just a thought experiment, it's okay to think about "would you rathers" as an exercise. No one is acting like it's a "valid premise". Really not sure lecturing the OP and people who participated in this thread, accusing them of being rude/disrespectful, insane, etc is necessary. I definitely don't think anyone was thinking about disability in some glamorous and fantastical "Bonnie and Clyde" fashion. In fact many of the people who answered may have way more real life experience with sharing a life with a PWD than you do (i.e. there are people who participated in this thread who have years of experience dating PWDs, have been married to a PWD for 20 years, etc)
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Post by missparkle on Nov 5, 2019 14:43:06 GMT -5
Whooow, where did that come from?!  I never meant to criticize, accuse or to offend OP, nor any other member and I am truly sorry if it came across that way, my deepest apologies to all. But I did read it like a question that was expected to be answered, I though OP is interested in different opinions and their explanations. I dug deep into my feelings to deliver them, in almost every sentence I wrote there was stated "in my opinion". I never claimed that I am right, that my truth is the only, absolute and exclusive truth. I just sincerely and honestly delivered MY opinion. It is ok to have different opinion, isn't it?!  Isn't that what makes our world so colorful?! |
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Post by newjess on Nov 5, 2019 15:12:00 GMT -5
missparkle I appreciate you clarifying and understand that tone and meaning can be misinterpreted over text, and if I did I sincerely apologize, but I feel like your statements pretty clearly are not just opinions, but judgements as well You said, "I find it even a bit rude and disrespectful to pwds to even consider it this way". Is that not you judging the very idea of this thread and those that participated in it? Implying that merely posing this thought experiment somehow means that the OP and/or the devs that participated are comparing disability to some "cool accessory" or "glamorous" fantasy (also your words)? It's kind of insulting to assume that anyone here was even thinking of it along those lines Just saying, seemed to be a lot of judgement going on. Not just a sharing of opinion. Again I acknowledge I could be misinterpreting, but that's very much how it reads to me
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2019 19:19:06 GMT -5
newjess expressed how I felt as well. missparkle your post did seem judgmental and almost like a reprimanding in a place where we are all gathered because of a very specific and complex attraction we have to a certain type of person. I am sure the OP and all the participants in this thread did not mean to ridicule any PWD or not take into account the seriousness of a disability.
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Post by kyliestarz on Nov 5, 2019 21:52:04 GMT -5
Don’t worry the OP loves this kinda stuff.
I would add that some devs, at least me anyway, are ‘fantasy devs’, with few meaningful IRL experiences - and it’s likely to stay that way due to life circumstances (AB partner, kids, career, etc). I’ve basically accepted that. I really only come to PD to explore, share and learn about my devness with others, as well as indulge a few ‘fantasies’. And maybe because I’m restricted to fantasies they get a little extravagant. But my understanding was that the devs only section was a place for that, and I’m pretty sure it is. I get why the section access is by honour system, but we should still be able to let loose and share deeper feelings without worrying about offending anyone.
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Post by myrrh on Nov 6, 2019 0:35:41 GMT -5
Hey bud, this section is only for devs to post in. You're welcome to all the other boards, but not this one!
But to answer the question, BIID is body integrity identity disorder, give it a Google. It's quite the rabbit hole.
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Post by ichbin on Jan 30, 2023 17:33:33 GMT -5
My answer would be no.
If I were paralyzed like him, I could not feel his legs wrapped all around my legs (which I loooove), and I couldn't feel the awesome orgasms resulting of finding him so attractive with his paralysis...
So, the whole scenario would not make sense to me.
I´m not sure I´d still be an SCI Dev if I were paralyzed myself. I think I'd rather be into AB men who are Devs of SCI women.
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Isn't that what makes our world so colorful?! 
