DEVS ONLY: Do you ever want dev high relief?

[kyliestarz]

I know the grass is always greener, but do you ever feel the need for relief from a dev high? Don’t get me wrong, I love dev highs, have a lot of pleasure on them and miss them when their gone, but I’m in my third week of one, and I’m less than proud of some of my private behaviour and could use a break from the ever present distraction. Like right now, what I want and what’s best for me is to put the iPad down, relax and watch a dumb movie. Instead I’m....Anyone ever feel a similar way?

[devogirl]

Oh yes, I know exactly how you feel. Pleasure that goes on too long becomes delirium. I love the dev high but with it comes sleepless nights and a kind of mania. I waste hours of my life searching the internet, watching terrible movies/tv, looking for something to scratch that itch. Then when it goes away I miss it. It would be nicer to live in the happy medium but oh well.

I find the best way to cope is to try to channel all that excess energy into something productive.

[robbb]

My highs tend to be fairly short anyway so I don't ever want relief from them. If anything I could usually do with them lasting a little longer.

I think also as a male I don't analyse my feelings as much so they don't trouble me as perhaps they do a female.

R.

[pam]

Both yes and no. I want to stop having that longing, but then when I think about not having it I change my mind because it is so good to have the daydreams. They are a part of my every day existence. I would miss them if they were not there. Luckily it doesnt keep me awake at night but it does occupy my thoughts alot during the day!

[lisa]

Yes, I know the feeling very well. My dev highs have become more frequent and longer over the past years. At the moment it is more or less a constant, even though there are some more intense days depending on my cycle.

Sometimes I wish they would give me some peace, so I can concentrate on other things again. But the longer they are there, the better I can just try to scratch that itch when I really have the time for it. In the end I still have the feeling that it is "wasting my time" like devogirl said.

An additional problem: A few years ago I was totally fine with having my fantasies, the occassional book and YouTube clips. But somehow this doesn't do the trick so easily anymore. I mean, it's still nice and it still works, but my mind is looking for the "real deal". And that is a lot harder to achieve and a lot more frustrating at times, because I simply do not have the possibility in real life, at least most of the time not. And knowing that I will never or almost never have the chance to have a fulfilling sex life, well... It frustrates me, especially during dev highs.

[feelsunshine]

As far as I am concerned, I haven’t quite figured out my dev highs an lows yet.
It seems since I found PD and “allow” myself to let these thoughts free, I’m in a constant dev high. of course there are higher and lower days but as I said I haven’t tracked if it’s more of a daily, weekly or monthly change but in the end that probably doesn’t matter. In the end, yes I like the dev high, but yes, it would also be nice to try to concentrate on other stuff. I often find myself in daydreams in inappropriate situations 🙈
I can also really relate to lisa, because same for me, I like YouTube and stuff but - “it’s not the real deal”!

I’m sorry that this is slightly off topic, but I found a site yesterday.
I don’t know what this site makes me feel, if I like it in general or not. But all I can say, these women found their real deal, I guess: wagsofsci.com/ ... although for them it’s i think mostly only coping with their situation... whereas for us it would be “it”...

[robbb]

That site has it's moments but generally I find it a little bit "gushy".

R.

[manicpixiememegirl]

I'm not sure if my experience constitutes a dev high, but I have noticed that it fluctuates based on my time of the month. While I agree with pam that the daydreams are definitely enjoyable, it does get a little frustrating without an outlet.

[Deleted]

Since being in a relationship, I have far less dev high moments and I actually miss them.

[rebeca]

I don't have them very often. but once in a while, I get a bit stuck on the stories in paradevo blog and then I'm on it. I generally regret it because unlike watching porn, it takes a while to read and then I haven't achieved what I needed to achieve that day. It's very time intensive.

[kyliestarz]

My partner, who doesn’t have a clue about my devness, leaves for a week for work every 3-4 months, and a sort of semi-deliberate high always come then. I get excited leading up to it, thinking about how free and unconscious I will be, and when I’m finally alone for a week I take full advantage. After each long day, I poor myself some wine, plunk down on the couch with my iPad and enjoy myself. For the first few days it’s great, but by like Thursday, I start feeling a little worn thin and want to be something other than a devotee, and yet I can’t put the iPad down because I’m alone and I’m free. It’s at these points that I miss having the constraint of having my partner around. It keeps my in check.

[Deleted]

I wonder kyliestarz when you do indulge in all the dev stuff while your partner is gone, does it enrich or ignite your relationship once your partner comes back home?

[kyliestarz]

Dani hmmm...in one way I think having that recurring time to my devself is good for our relationship, in that I have an outlet, so I don’t feel too boxed in, but there’s no doubt in also increases the secret aspect, which certainly doesn’t bring us closer.

[kyliestarz]

After a week, it doesn’t really ignite anything, I guess I do start to miss touch a little bit, but 98% of my sexual thoughts during sex or otherwise are about really really dev stuff, and it’s that way whether my partner has been a way for a day or week. Maybe if the away time was much longer it would be different. When I had sex with ABs before this 10 year relationship I’m in now, there would be less dev thoughts, because there was more thrill I guess.

[Deleted]

Jan 16, 2020 17:20:01 GMT -5 kyliestarz said:

Dani hmmm...in one way I think having that recurring time to my devself is good for our relationship, in that I have an outlet, so I don’t feel too boxed in, but there’s no doubt in also increases the secret aspect, which certainly doesn’t bring us closer.

I am so thankful that my husband is totally okay with my dev stuff. I could have not stayed in this marriage if he would have not been accepting of it really. I can't lie for nothing and I could have never kept it secret. It would have broken me or our marriage. Being able to open up about it has brought us closer for sure because he knows now how some things make me feel like for example if I see a PWD and even though he can't help me he has said before he is always there if I need/want to talk about it.
Being able to just be a dev without secrets and his knowledge of that part of me has taken a huge burden off my shoulders. He is so completely understanding, never judged me, never got angry, it's incredible and I feel very lucky.
I have accepted the fact that I will probably never have that IRL experience with a PWD because I don't want a relationship and finding just a NSA or FWB is not easy. I am not able to relocate or travel all around the world and I do have some standards but being able to be open with my husband about being a dev has made things so much easier.
I don't have any fluctuating dev highs and lows really, it's part of me, it's always there but at the same time for me it is not sexual and I don't need it to be sexual so maybe that makes a difference in not feeling like I need to saturate that craving for dev stuff so much.
I was thinking about how when my husband was still in the Military and he was gone lots of times how not being together always made being together again so much better. That's why I wondered if maybe not being together kinda rekindles the passion aspect or something.
I am glad you at least get that time alone regularly and I hope it helps with the dev cravings.