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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2020 22:09:03 GMT -5
archaic institution that serves no purpose other than to facilitate taxation and make subjects legible. outside of political economy, also a trap for relationships.
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Post by myrrh on Jun 19, 2020 23:06:04 GMT -5
Y'all are making me feel like a hopeless romantic. I'm a sucker for symbolism and have always really liked the idea of a legally recognized union with a partner.
My understanding is that this will royally fuck up benefits for American PWDs.
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Post by wonk on Jun 19, 2020 23:14:42 GMT -5
Conversely lots of us on here need to get married for visa reasons. We are all spread out all over the globe
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2020 23:16:13 GMT -5
Conversely lots of us on here need to get married for visa reasons. We are all spread out all over the globe this is the only instance in which i think marriage could be of benefit to someone - the old green card union. more difficult to pull off successfully these days it would seem
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Post by newjess on Jun 19, 2020 23:21:41 GMT -5
Yeeah I really couldn't see myself getting married unless there was some absolute necessity like for green card purposes. If a relationship ends I want to just be able to move on than have to go through a divorce. In the US there are states that require you to be separated for a year before you can legally divorce. Yeah nah I'm good on that lol
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2020 23:29:01 GMT -5
Yeeah I really couldn't see myself getting married unless there was some absolute necessity like for green card purposes. If a relationship ends I want to just be able to move on than have to go through a divorce. In the US there are states that require you to be separated for a year before you can legally divorce. Yeah nah I'm good on that lol yep, I agree wholeheartedly. the emphasis on property and assets with men intent on forcing through prenup agreements and the possibility for a nasty fall-out is also a consideration. also, marriage for citizenship/visa purposes is especially pertinent due to the way h1bs and other visas seem to be going (very south, that is). i really feel for anyone whose presence in continuously threatened by ICE in the US, who lives in fear of their immigration status preventing them from seeking out medical care or for fully exercising their rights; times are quite difficult - they always have been - but particularly now given the circumstances and amplification of cold war rhetoric directed toward the prc.
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Post by newjess on Jun 19, 2020 23:48:03 GMT -5
100% with you @natachavonbraun. My own mother (who was pregnant at the time) was almost deported because she had divorced her emotionally abusive ex-husband who was here on a visa, but had my sister with him, so obviously was trying to find a way to stay in the country for her. She had met my dad who is American and as mentioned, they were expecting, but they weren't married. It's a long story but basically thanks to a lawyer who took my mom's case pro-bono (my parents barely had a cent to their name) she was able to stay, marry my dad, and get a green card.
My mom is the sweetest person you'll ever meet and was an elementary school teacher for 30 years, she recently retired. There are members of this very forum that have made some pretty terrible comments like referring to all undocumented immigrants as criminals, etc etc. It cuts me deep when people just somehow completely disregard the fact that, while yes bad people do take advantage and I am all for vetting, as a whole so many immigrants are just trying to survive or find a better life, and are absolutely NOT criminals.
Anyway, sorry to derail from the OP. I 100% recognize my privilege from literally just being lucky enough to be born in the US and gain all the benefits that come up with it. I did nothing to earn this, it was handed to me based on sheer luck.
ETA: just to clarify, there are so many socially conscientious people here and I love this community. I moreso mentioned the fact that those things have been said to explain that this is not just some political debate game for some of us, it is our actual life
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Post by mona on Jun 20, 2020 5:06:02 GMT -5
You pay more in taxes when you are married??? In Germany, many people marry in order to save on taxes, as the spouse with the bigger income usually pays a lot less after the marriage. Plus, if one partner gives up his or her job, they have free health insurance with their husband or wife. It depends on the circumstances. When they both make the same, they usually pay more. But if it's very lopsided they will often pay less. The tax rules were made to give a benefit to married couples because it was rare for women to have jobs or equal pay jobs. But now having 2 working spouses is common and they often get screwed.
The German tax and health care system is also more beneficial when one spouse has a significantly lower income than the other. But married couples with equal incomes don't have disadvantages compared to unmarried couples or singles with the same wage levels.
But if one partner becomes long-term unemployed or unfit for work, the other partner has to support him/her. Then, not being married could be an financial advantage because one could be entitled for state aids.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2020 9:39:20 GMT -5
Surely the main joy of something is that you dont need to do it, shouldnt have to do it but really want to do it ?....of course thats true for lots of other things, not just marriage.
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Post by pam on Jun 20, 2020 11:18:19 GMT -5
I have been married for a long time and really wanted to be married for different reasons: financial, romantic, legal, having kids. But now that I'm older, if something happened to my husband I dont know if I would marry again. I guess it would depend on the circumstances.
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Post by newjess on Jun 20, 2020 12:00:52 GMT -5
Something I should have mentioned is, while I'm personally not into the idea of legal marriage, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to celebrate love and commitment, or involve certain legal aspects, like appointing them as my power of attorney (you can do this without being married right?).
I could still see like maybe wearing a ring as a symbol of commitment, and/or having a commitment ceremony (and more importantly a subsequent celebratory honeymoon lol).
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Post by Braced4Impact on Jun 20, 2020 12:04:03 GMT -5
Well, I'm not into gambling or strippers. Only time I gambled, the hotel I stayed in had a casino and gave $20 in free coins or chips to every patron, so I went to the slots, played the coins, actually won $30 overall, and cashed that in. Only time I ever went to a strip joint was with my college buddy right after we graduated. Was totally boring and we left after an hour. Guess I'm just a dull guy. Well you have done better than me I have never even been to a strip joint before You ain't missing much.
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KingRichard
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Post by KingRichard on Jun 20, 2020 12:10:16 GMT -5
Something I should have mentioned is, while I'm personally not into the idea of legal marriage, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to celebrate love and commitment, or involve certain legal aspects, like appointing them as my power of attorney (you can do this without being married right?). I could still see like maybe wearing a ring as a symbol of commitment, and/or having a commitment ceremony (and more importantly a subsequent celebratory honeymoon lol). Well if I do find my other half wants to get married I would like to keep it small not really into big weddings but I agree with you on the honeymoon lol
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Post by newjess on Jun 20, 2020 13:29:06 GMT -5
Something I should have mentioned is, while I'm personally not into the idea of legal marriage, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to celebrate love and commitment, or involve certain legal aspects, like appointing them as my power of attorney (you can do this without being married right?). I could still see like maybe wearing a ring as a symbol of commitment, and/or having a commitment ceremony (and more importantly a subsequent celebratory honeymoon lol). Well if I do find my other half wants to get married I would like to keep it small not really into big weddings but I agree with you on theย honeymoon lol Agreed, if I ever did do a commitment ceremony type thing it would just be close friends and family + delicious food and great music. I bartended a wedding once with the greatest band ever lol, they did Motown classics, Tina Turner, Love Train, all that great stuff, everyone was groovin and singing. It was super fun
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Post by infinatedreams on Jun 20, 2020 13:38:32 GMT -5
Got married on a beach in St Lucia to a 3 man band playing Bob Marley songs, went for a swim (nice wedding photo of my empty chair on a deserted beach at sunset), laid on the beach smoking spliffs till the early hours. All in all a good do .... got divorced 10yrs later ๐๐๐ ... still it was a nice holiday ๐๐ป
2nd wedding, learned my lesson about romantic gestures, had a band playing AC/DC Led Zep etc, got drunk ๐
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